Taekwondo monkeys!

h/t The Telegraph Online

Lo Wung taught the monkeys taekwondo so they could entertain crowds and make him rich, but the monkeys soon tired of their communist enslavement.  Suddenly, they were presented with an opportunity and quickly turned on their dictator:

"The primates turned the tables on their trainer when he slipped during a show, with one quick-thinking monkey flooring him with a kick to the head.  I saw one punch him in the eye - he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose. They were leaping and jumping all over the place. It was better than a Bruce Lee film."

But, the anti-communist uprising was soon thwarted.

"He was really furious, he made the monkeys kneel on the ground with their hands tied behind their backs to punish them and make them show remorse for their nasty attack."

Fantastic! Art imitating life.  Off to the monkey Gulag for you lot then.

Fuck you, Carter-Fuck

h/t Iain Dale's Blog

Update: Here on Wikileaks

Walt Darling's Inanimate PBR Fantasia Special

Well, I was going to comment on that load of fantasy tripe from the bungling Badger, but I'll leave it to a reader of the Spectator Coffee House to sum it up:

What does it really matter what he says? In any case, he's not aiming this crap at you, or anyone else capable of understanding it.

This fantasy land stuff is designed to impress most of the people who contributed to this morning's Radio 5 Live phone in.

Basically, the kind of people, who, by any right measure, are too thick to be allowed to vote, never mind understand left wing fiscal chicanery.

Quite.

 

 

Scandalous CRU Climategate AlGore-ithm exposed

h/t Cube Antics

As you can see, (potentially) valid temperature station readings were taken and skewed to fabricate the results the “scientists” at the CRU wanted to believe, not what actually occurred.

The suspect code here for software developers:

;
; Apply a VERY ARTIFICAL correction for decline!!
;
yrloc=[1400,findgen(19)*5.+1904]
valadj=[0.,0.,0.,0.,0.,-0.1,-0.25,-0.3,0.,-0.1,0.3,0.8,1.2,1.7,2.5,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6]*0.75   ; fudge factor
if n_elements(yrloc) ne n_elements(valadj) then message,'Oooops!'
 
yearlyadj=interpol(valadj,yrloc,timey)

Guido's Caption Contest

More "green" madness

Britain cuts down forests to keep ‘green’ power stations burning

The Times Online

Whether you believe in Allah, the Great Spaghetti Monster, powdered rhino horn being an aphrodisiac, Anthropomorphic Global Warming and other such nonsense, this has to be the biggest dose of green irony I've ever seen - worse than the windmill debacle.

Let me point out a few obvious things:-

1. Cutting down, processing and transporting the wood from Canada and South America by ship is burning how much fossil fuel?  Cutting requires fossil fuel and emits carbon dioxide.  Processing the wood requires fossil fuel and emits carbon.  Transporting requires fossil fuel and emits carbon.

2. Biomass fuelled power stations are typically less efficient than coal burning or fuel gas power stations.  Often, like the "green" windmills, they work in conjunction with fossil fuel burning power stations, so you won't completely eliminate the fossil fuel burning side of it.

3. The wood often has to be processed before burning (drying or converting into biomass pellets), costing more energy.

4. The irony of cutting down the very thing that naturally can convert carbon dioxide into oxygen.

5. This strikes me more of desperately addressing the imposed EU Landfill Directive by incinerating waste rather than dumping it in landfills.

6. What's wrong with coal? Plenty of it here.

7. The eco-nazis are wailing that it's a good thing because the trees will come from sustainable forests.  Fast growing trees can grow between 6-10ft a year.  Depending on demand, this could strip an enormous area very quickly while waiting for the trees to reach maturity.  And the fertilizers required for fast growth?  Replanting? Energy, energy, energy.


I get concerned that the arguments for AGW confused and blur the very distinct, cost effective and admirable pursuit of economies and conservation of fuel supplies.  This is simply an ill-thought out, contradictory, knee jerk to "greenism" and as such it is a perfect example of yet another doomed Liebour Party supported policy.

My Gordon and Mandy poster on Iain Dale's blog

Halloween Fancy Dress

Stuck for a scary Halloween costume?

Don a comedy beard and strap loads of fake dynamite to yourself under your coat and silently in the middle of the room, undo your coat and shout "Allah Akbar!" at the top of your voice.



Guaranteed screaming - you'll be the most scariest.
 
NB: keep the costume in a holdall and change outside the party... that could be a life-limiting costume on public transport!

Bohemian Bankruptcy

Brilliant! h/t iBall

What we suspected all along - it was deliberate

Telegraph

The huge increases in migrants over the last decade were partly due to a politically motivated attempt by ministers to radically change the country and "rub the Right's nose in diversity", according to Andrew Neather, a former adviser to Tony Blair, Jack Straw and David Blunkett.


He said Labour's relaxation of controls was a deliberate plan to "open up the UK to mass migration" but that ministers were nervous and reluctant to discuss such a move publicly for fear it would alienate its "core working class vote".

And so, there we have it - a deliberate attempt at social engineering.

There should be trial, not a public hearing about this.

Well, what a surprise...

Telegraph

The YouGov poll was taken hours after Mr Griffin’s appearance on Thursday, before which anti-fascist protesters rioted outside BBC Television Centre in London.


The survey found that 22 per cent of voters would “seriously consider” voting for the BNP in a future local, general or European election. This included four per cent who said they would “definitely” consider voting for the party, three per cent who would “probably” consider it, and 15 per cent who said they were “possible” BNP voters.

Considering they never touched the question of why so people were voting BNP and what was so wrong with Liebour's failed immigration policy, what do you expect?!?

They should have held Question Time in Burnley and addressed these issues, rather than turning it into a Jeremy Kylesque lynching by a multi-culti panel and selected London metropolitan audience.

Further censoring of the BNP

John Mann Labour MP - a man so stupid that he thinks by banning Nick Griffin from the House of Commons means that suddenly the issue of this nasty business about uncontrolled immigration in the UK will quietly go away.

On LBC this morning his argument was that stopping all MEPs from entering the HoC was, wait for it, "the right thing to do" as they shouldn't be allowed subsidised tea and biscuits and stops them blocking the corridors.

Of course, when it was suggested to him that he may be making Griffin a martyr, he proceeded to let the nice touchy feely mask slip and descended into the usual rant of it was disgusting that BNP this, and BNP that and he was proud of doing this waffle waffle rant rant etc

Then a listener summed it up nicely: all the MEPs from LibLabCon will be signed in by their UK party counterparts as is normal practise and vice versa in Europe, whereas Griffin won't be.

And John Mann, you mong, saying things like:

"This stops the BNP parading round here as if they're legitimate politicians."

just shows you are more interested in your little expenses fiddling gang than having an iota of intellect and understanding the true definition of freedom of speech. Do you think Griffin (whose party IS legitimate btw) is now going to look like the underdog on Question Time this evening and will garner even more support as is typical of this nation's normal reaction to anything underdog?

You should have addressed the nation's concern about immigration immediately and then perhaps the hordes of traditional working class Labour voter that YOU lost to the BNP will return.

You utter, utter twat.

I hope you lose your seat in May next year for the sake of our country.

This is what they're really thinking

From dizzy's blog:

This was Bill Etherington MP in an interview with David Grossman on BBC Newsnight.

Etherington: "We were told we were going to be judged on what the claim was under the regulations at the time. Now, Sir Thomas Legg has decided to change that retrospectively. Retrospective legislation has a very poor record and has caused us a lot of trouble. That denudes the whole process of its legitimacy.

Grossman: "You yourself have signed Commons EDMs calling for
retrospective taxes on City bonuses.."

Etherington: "I don't think I have actually. Can you be sure of this?

Grossman: "Yes, we checked before we came out.."

Etherington: "Retrospective taxes?"

Grossman: "On City bonuses and on Centrica profits and on energy company profits.."

Etherington: "Yes, but that was me putting pressure on the Government. You know what Early Day Motions are about. None of them are ever acted upon. They are declarations of intent."

Good grief!

Although dizzy points out the ineffectiveness of the EDM (which I believe was used to try and address the controversial tax IR35), I am more concerned about the complete lack of concern of saying the much accused, and denied by them, statement of "rules only apply to the little people, not to me".

This is exactly the type of outrageous entitlement and disconnect they have with the world outside the ivory tower. They are so ingrained in this type of thinking that they don’t even bother to lie or obfuscate their words in public now.

Rather like the BBC no longer bothering to pretend to be impartial.

They simply don't get it (still)

From the BBC (on an announcement that MPs, including Gordon, will have to pay back their ill-gotten expenses):

However one Labour MP, Sir Stuart Bell, expressed concerns about the process and whether MPs will be treated fairly.

Sir Stuart said MPs must be judged by the rules that applied at the time, despite the fact that they are now seen as widely discredited.

Look, Sir Stuart of Trough and Entitlement, what you and the other 645 troughers don't understand is that we put you in government to represent us, our best interests and the best interests for our country.

Nowhere in this remit does this give you permission to put your greed first before our country. If you had an ounce of integrity, you would have pointed out the expenses system was totally corrupt, unaccountable and amounted to systemic stealing from the public's hard earned cash.

An honourable man would have exposed this travesty without fail.

As a result of this cabal of secrecy and official deniability, we can only conclude that the 646 of you are simply, without honour.

There comes a time when every person working looks at the looters that are automatically by law and a sense of entitlement, given wealth and are allowed to circumvent the law for their own gain, and decides enough is enough. You may have tried to close down as many avenues of protest and action over the years with your totalitarian outlook on restricting our freedoms using the excuses of terrorism, but the one avenue you cannot close down is the growing swell of public resentment, that is divorced from party tribalism.

History has constantly shown us in times such as these, the results are unpleasant.

And bloody.

You have been warned.

Charlie Kennedy fail

Charles Kennedy's pre-speech photo opportunity went awry. "What are you in for?" he asked the hospital patient who just declared that he'd be voting for the Lib Dems. The painful reply was "brain surgery".

h/t Toenails

The infamous Charles Hardwidge

It seems that LabourList has resurrected that American blogging icon, Charles Hardwidge again. If you ever feel like a laugh and how it's possible that someone can be quite so utterly deluded in all aspects of life, please feel free to view the blog.

Under Dolly Draper, the website was the epitome of New Labour - an example of an ignorant chancer with delusions of grandeur, trying to pretend he was the real thing. To be fair to the new editor, Alex Smith, the site is much better than Draper's bastard web-child although the content is often obtuse, reeks of naive student politics and anti-Tory rhetoric.

Still, do a search for old Charley’s comments and be prepared for a treat. Most of them consist of the following, failsafe format:

1. Liberally scatter your post with management meta-speak
2. Make a completely unrelated quote on Taoism
3. Have another hate-fuelled dig at the Tories

He does come across as one of life’s losers in perpetuam: the chap that thinks he knows it all, uber-confidence over ignorance, poor interpersonal skills, failure to understand business, talks the talk but sadly in life with his attitude, has failed to accomplish anything at all, despite his worldly wisdom that he likes to pontificate frequently.

Sadly, it appears that after his fantastic impersonation on Guido’s site (whoever that was, hat’s off to you – had me convinced for a while!) he’s now a bit touchy about people reproducing his comments – such as LabourList’s new “Comment of the day” feature and has threatened to call his lawyers .

And just to torment the poor fellow some more, the site posters are now running a sweepstake on when he will return to the site for the upcoming election next year!

Quality gold.

Boris on top form on Newsnight

Boris struggles with the Tory on-message about the Lisbon Treaty but comes out with some cracking lines, even putting Paxo on the spot asking him what his salary is. Paxo clearly found it amusing.

Another great vintage Boris interview.

BBC iPlayer

(starts 16:23)

The quandary of the Lisbon Treaty

What I don't understand is this:

If the Lisbon Treaty is still being ratified by other countries (Poland and the Czech republic) at around the time of the May election, then the Conservatives will hold a referendum for the country. Fine, but that situation will not happen.

If Poland and the Czech republic vote for the Lisbon Treaty and the deal is sealed, the Conservatives say they will have to look at this again, although in principle, they would like a referendum.

Now, what would happen if Dave Cameron said:

If the Lisbon Treaty has been ratified, then there is no legal way or us to undo it. We're stuck with it thanks to Gordon "Courage" Brown. All we can do is try and bargain some sovereignty issues similar to what the Germans have done but that's about it. If we tried to undo the Lisbon Treaty it would mean our expulsion from the EU in its entirety i.e. we would not be able to trade with one of our biggest partners, forcing us turn to the USA for help.

Stormtroopers reflect on 9/11

Nice parody from the collegehumour site

Comment Is Fun

You just have to give it to Polly Toynbee and Jackie Ashley - their continual devotion to the ill-fated cause of Nu Liebour is exemplary. I thought the comments in the Grauniad earlier this year were scathing - a quick read now and they're on the verge or rioting! Some brilliant ripostes and some pitiful defence consisting of "only Tories comment and blog here" and "well, the Tories would be worse".

Click on the links above to see for yourselves.

Jackie Ashley may have kidded herself about her husband, Andy Marr's, affair and illegitimate daughter with Alice Miles, but she's got some way to go before convincing disillusioned liebour voters.

Apologists for Evil

"...leftie, liberal, multicultural appeasement monkeys..."

Fantastic! Good old Pat Condell.

Global scepticism

From the champions of impartiality, the BBC brings you glad tidings from another survey that says, wait for it:

Twice as many people now agree that "claims that human activities are changing the climate are exaggerated"

Well, what do you know! Apparently, if you are from the following demographic, you can see through the propaganda:

• Men


• Rural


• Older


• High earners


• Conservative voters

Interesting demographic - anyone would think that only those people who had independent thought would see through the big scam and weren't taking in by the propaganda and actually thought and challenged this growing tide of eco-fascism.

The windmills of your mind

Apart from the cost of maintenance to keep these "bird slicers" (a minor amount of carnage, of course, but I love the term) running, what they fail to tell you is that this variable power source requires a conventional power source as a backup: a fossil fuel burning one.

Now what they also give the impression is that when the wind stops blowing just as EastEnders starts, they press a button and the standby power station does the business.

Let me tell you, having worked on a power station and refinery in a former life, one does not simply press a big start button and voila: instant power. It can take several days to "black start" a power station.

In order to get the power to the grid quickly, the power station must be in "standby" mode i.e. its furnaces lit, the steam generated and pressured and possibly the turbines rotating.

So while these windmills are busy spinning away keeping the thicky green eco-nazis happy in blissful ignorance and couscous salads, a nasty old backup power station is quietly burning fossil fuels in the background.

Tax, tax and more tax and subsidies to large corporations.

These idiots simply wont be happy until horses are towing our Volvos.

Compare the Meerkat

After returning from a brief spell in France, I've discovered an amazing similarity between Aleksandr Orlov and Evan Davis. Compare the Meerkat.com.

Desperately seeking Xoggoth

One of my top keyword search items is “Xoggoth”.

And who or what is a Xoggoth you may be asking yourselves?

Well, he’s a thoroughly decent chap over at contractor uk website with probably one of the most zany and hilarious bloggoth’s I’ve seen!

Xoggoth, be warned: you have people out to find you!

"Gordon Brown is a c**t"

From the Grauniad:

Clarkson, who previously had to apologise to Gordon in February after calling him "a one-eyed Scottish idiot", described him as a "cunt" in not-for-broadcast comments during the recording of this week's Top Gear programme on Wednesday night.

He was talking about government policy and finished off with the line: "The reason you can't do that is because Gordon Brown is a cunt"

Bad boy!

The epitome of "new" liebour and its lies

In the Daily Politics show, Andrew Neil interviews labour's armed forces minister, Bill Rammell who unashamedly twists, misdirects and lies his way in true labour style.

I can't really comment on this, I'm too angry.

If you go to the ballot box next year and put a cross next to the local labour candidate's name, you should, like this piece of shit, be dragged out in a Snatch Land Rover and spend a few days out in Afghanistan and then see how quickly you would be writing out the cheque for more troops and equipment rather seeing how many more chums you can "employ" in the public sector or how many "poor friends from afar" we can buy houses for.

+++ IBM develops a speaking computer that can replace an MP +++

IBM have created a supercomputer that will appear on the American programme Jeopardy. Named "Watson" it is being designed to compete against human contestants in the TV show.

From geek.com :

Just like the human contestants, Watson will be be given questions in regular American English. The human communication form is being used by Watson to demonstrate its ability to break down natural language questions into their true, baser or inherent meaning, with the appropriate answers being determined from its vast repository of knowledge, and all within a couple seconds.

However, it is no Terminator or HAL - here is one of the responses to a Jeopardy question:

Host: “The cause of the French and Indian war was the struggle for control of this area, in the modern-day Midwest.

”Watson: “What is Paris?”

Well, that may be good enough for a truth-avoiding Labour MP on Newsnight, but sadly on a highbrow show like Jeopardy, it may struggle a tad.

Die Grüne Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei kommen!

"Nazis...I hate these guys!"

I. Jones

Especially the Green ones. Coming to a business near you these guys will be creating havoc, disrupting the bottom line and spending your money that doesn't exists, courtesy of the Environment Agency. From The Times online:

The agency is creating a unit of about 50 auditors and inspectors, complete with warrant cards and the power to search company premises to enforce the Carbon Reduction Commitment (CRC), which comes into effect next year.

Decked out in green jackets, the enforcers will be able to demand access to company property, view power meters, call up electricity and gas bills and examine carbon-trading records for an estimated 6,000 British businesses. Ed Mitchell, head of business performance and regulation at the Environment Agency, said the squad would help to bring emissions under control. “Climate change and CO2 are the world’s biggest issues right now. The Carbon Reduction Commitment is one of the ways in which Britain is responding.”

It's happening, bit by bit...soon we will hear the words:

"Ihre Papieren, bitte!"

In the words of the late Phil Lynott, I'll paraphrase a little ditty of his:

"Guess who just got back today?
Them wild-eyed Greens that had been away
Haven't changed, haven't much to say
But man, I still think them twats are crazy
They were asking if you were around
How you was, where you could be found
Told them you were living downtown
Driving all the old lefties crazy

The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
I said
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town"

etc

h/t An Englishman's Castle

(Sample MP3 from Amazon of above song here)

The insane Prime Mentalist

There's no doubt about it - he's fecking insane! Just watch this and decide for yourselves.

Great name

Ivana Pezer

LOL!

Me too! I'm starvin' for Italian food!

Moonwalking

A fantastic quote on the Coffee House blog, where Fraser Nelson accuses (quite rightly) Ed Balls of mendacious utterings, by Robert Bauer:

Michael Jackson may have popularised Moonwalking (giving the illusion of moving forward, but actually going backward!), but the Labour Party has perfected it!

Children are our future

I was sitting in a doctor's waiting room with my elderly mother when a young girl went up to all the empty seats and banged them with both her hands. This went on for several minutes and as she approached me I noticed she had snot running down her face. As she was sneezing and coughing I deduced she must have had bird flu, although glancing at her rotund "the worlds a Kentucky Fried oyster" mother, it could have been swine flu.

With that, she wiped the strings of mucus onto her hands and then proceeded to play the game of banging the empty seats and wiping the snotty putty on them.

Not one person said anything apart from the mother who shouted large words of encouragement to her feral offspring. With her continual diatribe of describing the exact actions of her kid to what appeared to be no-one in particular, for a moment, I thought I was starring in some sort of docu-drama.

Sadly, not a camera was to be found so I simply shouted: "Can you control your child please, as she has flu and is spreading her germs around this waiting room full of elderly and infirm people here. It is NOT a kindergarten".

The mother just scowled at me and reluctantly tried to control her spawn by a series of commands, rather than the obvious way of getting her fat lardarse off the fucking chair and grabbing the kid.

Not one person said a thing.

I hate this thing when parents allow their children to run amok in public places such as restaurants, libraries, supermarkets and waiting rooms. Especially supermarkets. What is it that these new mummies have to shout out loud to their kids explaining everything mummy is doing and what little Johnny would like to choose. It's annoying, I keep looking for the cameras and sound crew making their next documentary.

There's nothing worse then closing ones eyes as one delicately savours a rare 28 day mature rump steak and some minion from Beelzebub armed with some stolen restaurant cutlery comes screaming at your table firing a salvo of partially digested bread, deep fried chicken mcbollocks and grass from their gaping craw while their parents all look so fucking pleased with themselves and go "Aaaaaaaah!" as though they are singing the Girl from fecking Ipanema.

Nukids - fecking the spawn of the Devil - I'm not afraid to tell them quite loudly: "FUCK OFF!"

The Chipmunk's Blankety-Blank Cheque

Hazel Blears promised to pay £13,332 in capital gains tax that she had avoided when she sold one of her homes.

If this cheque was for a CGT liability, what about the interest and late payment charges that HMRC would normally demand on late notification and payment?

Also, included with the penalties should be increased charges of CGT @ 40%, not 18% as this has changed recently. So her cheque should be around £18,000 plus penalties and interest.

Where is the HMRC demand?

Has it been paid?

When asked by the Salford Star she said:

“I don't know yet what they intend to do with it” she says “I am clear that I don't want it offset against future tax liability. If they return it, I will make an equivalent donation to a
good cause.”

Yeah, like the labour party? This is just window dressing for her Salford constituency. From the woman that said "In a recession, there's no space for freeloaders".

Sanctimonious hypocrite. I hope the electorate in Salford fight their tribalist instincts and vote labour out next year.

H/T Image Sheikyermami

"Take your Oyster card and shove it up your arsehole"

In "honour" of this sanctimonious little Trotskyist shithead, a well known little ditty as performed by the Amateur Transplants (updated song on their website).

London Underground Song

Audio NSFW

Voluntary Repatriation Scheme

Nick Griffin mentioned this last night after winning his seat. I thought it was a BNP thing but in actual fact, it has been on the Government statute books since 1971:

Voluntary Repatriation Scheme

That's something the media do not report.

Live Election Results from Iain Dale

+++ Gordon Brown being pushed out +++

Just heard on BBC Daily Politics show that one of the reporters had been speaking for a few hours with Labour backbenchers and there is a concerted effort via a petition to remove Gordon Brown and replace him with Alan Johnson.

Interesting times....!

+++ Latest Poll: Labour going, going, gone +++

Just seen this latest poll from Mr Dale's site:

CON 40%(-1) LAB 18%(-10) LIB DEM 18%(-4)

More details here...

"Eject Eject Eject!"

I get the feeling that the Labour party are going through the same emotions as this trainee pilot!

You know, keep your nose up and clean, keep burning the taxpayers money, and hope no Guido Falcon spoils your despicable troughfest by headbutting your titanium fan blades causing a flameout!

The only difference with this brave scenario of decent military aviators versus the scumbag politicos, I hope due to their fiscal incompetence, MPs have found that they couldn't afford the parachutes.

Just had a thought...

A few weeks ago, swine flu ridden MPs were collectively snorting a sigh of relief as their expenses were going to be doctored to remove the incriminating evidence before being open to public viewing in July, conveniently after the June elections.

Now that the Telegraph have access to the uncensored itemised receipts, will parliament now reveal the receipts uncensored?

A bit of a tricky one this...

How "old wives tales" become government policy

Hat Tip to the Freedom To Choose blog via uber-bloggers Dick Puddlecote and LegIron on how an unscientific report consisting of a phonecall to 1000 bovine idiots whether they thought people who are smokers can infect people simply by standing next to them. Note, not actually smoking, but "3rd hand smoke".

The report concluded from the responses of the non-thinkers that yes indeedy, babies and the sick will die of cancer by simply standing next to a smoker.

And behold, via the equally lobotomised media, it became policy and now smokers are not permitted to enter the Royal Oldham Hospital in Manchester, simply because they choose to smoke. Note: not smoking, but have been or are smokers.

Another example of where no scientific proof will get in the way of a predetermined decision by the the Wretched.

Wake up Neo...(knock knock)

Uncensored expenses revelation is Labour spin operation?

Blogs everywhere are going bananas about the Telegraph's revelations of MP's uncensored expenses claims. Although we were due to see these in July, MPs ordered certain "private" (read incriminating) details be removed.

At the moment, these are all about the current Labour government and so far Harperson has been flitting from Sky to the BBC (Pravda) in a vain attempt to repeat the mantra:

"It was within the rules, the old system was wrong, we have recognised this and we will be reviewing this"

Which I and everyone else reads as:

"Shit! We've been caught out, it's bad, very bad, and now we've got to pretend to change the system"

However, once again my spider senses are tingling:

Could this simply be an opportunistic way of dumping out bad Labour news now, and then revealing the Tory expenses closer to the elections in a few weeks time, especially considering the Labour biased behaviour of the Telegraph over the last few years?

Ghurkas backtracking farce by the labour government

Joanna Lumley had said she was 'devastated and shocked' at the verdicts on the five men and threatened to voice her anger at a press conference this afternoon.

She was called into a urgent meeting with Immigration Minister Phil Woolas to be told the rejections had 'no practical effect'.

And so the backtracking commences. See Joanna's face as the weasel Woolas squirms his labour lies:

BBC Website

Prescott's New Career Inspired By Jim Carrey

Prescott

Predator

A new career beckons in 2010, Mr Prescott!

The Surreal World of Alistair Dali

Much better bloggers than me are tearing into the budget quite admirably but unfortunately I do not have the time today to add to the carcass tearing.

With all these budgets, the nasty stuff is in the detail and I heard George Osborne pick up an increase on NI. Once again, the "stealth tax" is used with vigour. From what I understand, the announcement means that the employee’s NI rate will rise from 11% to 11.5% and the employer's NI rate from 12.8% to 13.3%.

The thing that angered me the most was that once again, they have not bothered to cut the unaffordable public sector. It's madness. It's treasonable.

title h/t: private eye

Dolly making someone scared in government

Who is he trying to warn in the government?

More at the mirror here

h/t: James Vellacott

Comedy spot on Guido's uber-blog

I think Alice Miles deserves some sort of award for this article.

Perhaps Andrew Marr could give her one?

ROFLOL!

Dolly's new book - priceless

Click on image to view a larger size and just check out those Amazon reviews as well as the labels!

"Not very absorbent. And too few sheets. Spreads it everywhere in fact. All over the place. Even the walls of Number 10 are covered."

Auf Wiedersehen, Dolly

Oh no, looks like the Sunday online papers and blogs are going to be interesting reading tomorrow about the emails that Guido has given away revealing McBride attempting a Tory personal smear campaign through Dolly's Labourlost shite.

Oh, and by the way Derek, as you commented on my site a few weeks ago, it's not sour grapes: I genuinely like having you around the blogosphere because I cannot think of a single entity (except for The Prime Mentalist) that provides such great ammunition for entertainment.

h/t: especially to Tory Bear, Guido, Iain Dale et al

G20 "riots" stage managed?

This image and others like it during the G20 summit that have been shown throughout the MSM in the past few days has triggered something in my subconscious for some time, like an alarm clock slowly ticking in the background.

Today I have finally worked out what it is: that blood and injury is fake, and the bloke is clearly provoking a response from the police.

The question behind it is why?

Is it an anarchist group? Is it a government agenda to unsuccessfully create a riot? Is it a plant by the police in testing their riot operations? Is it the media trying to sensationalise a story?

I don't know. But there is something clearly wrong with that picture.

Beware the IMF in June

Looks like The Prince of Darkness let the cat out the bag on C4 last night when Jon Snow got him to admit that in actual fact we WERE in the queue for the IMF, just not at the top.

Still, I reckon the pravda-esque BBC will report it as this:

While what really everyone is thinking is this:

The rictus grin

(shudder)

This is all our Prime Mentalist could do when getting the well deserved dressing down of a lifetime from Daniel Hannan earlier last week.

He really is pathologically incapable of being normal.

"Waiter! There's a hoon in my soup!"

Poor old Derek... haha

Expelled from his university and now made to look a right arrogant and obnoxious idiot on the Daily Politics show - tremendous.

Told off for interrupting by the hosts, and Guido went in for the political kill about his accusations of Dale's "racism" and the collusion between Draper and spindoctor Damien McBride.

Good to get Derek to confess live on TV that he's being paid by Labour sympathisers and regular Labour donors.

In the end, Derek got nasty e.g. he reverted to his natural self by trying to smear Guido, failed and ended up looking like a bigger hoon than we all thought was capable.

I feared for Guido thinking it was going to be a BBC Labour-led stitchup, but it looked like Andrew and his co-presenter were keen to stick the knife into that over-qualified tramp.

And the first attempt by the BBC to present the Dan Han video, although the were backpedalling wildly as to why they hadn't shown it.

Well done Guido, and bye bye Derek.

Dan Hannan says Gordon is "...pathologically incapable of accepting responsibility for these things..."

Probably one of the most wanted, needed and best speeches I have heard for some time.

Please link, post, email... anything - just get these liebour hoons out now.

Green shoots of drudgery

I heard on the radio and on the news this morning talk about the "green shoots of recovery" that were taking place. Although most of those being interviewed were profusely sweating estate agents saying they were seeing “...much more activity than last month...” but obviously declined to mention exactly how much of this "activity" had turned into transactions.

The Grauniad has a delusional piece on liebour still winning the election alongside the news of unemployment accelerating past the 2 million mark.

Could this be the signs that Gordon is gearing up the electorate for an early election? Make the economic news artificially good, declare himself as the UK’s personal saviour, throw the last credit card at a “Gordon is good” marketing campaign and have a quick election when the weather is good?

I think the first planted question in PMQs will be something along the lines of:

“With the first signs of economic recovery showing, would my right honourable friend like to hear another apology from the Tories for not realising his economic mastery?”

Hello darkness my old friend

No, it's not a future projected picture of Dolly in one of the Gillian "another dodgy qualification" McKeith programs to shock you into eating paper, grass and water for the rest of your life after she carried out the grand revealing of your stools. It's a picture from an online game I played the other night called Left4Dead which is the cliched but enjoyable shooting of amusingly animated Zombies, shouting and laughing with your mates while drinking beer.

The girlfriend of one friend stood in while he refilled his pint glass and she efficiently covered the rearguard. She also had a remarkably charming voice on the crystal clear Skype conference call.

Although I’m a little cautious at using that as an overall true judge and jury of character as I used to have the hots for my dad’s secretary when I was a teenager. I'd never met her before but she had this super-sexy, silky 100 Rothman’s RP voice of a vixen and between the sheets in those hormone fuelled “nuit de passion” between myself and my imagination, I assumed she to be the Jeanne Moreau of my film noir dreams.

My dad just laughed at me – she was about 60 years old and my illusion was shattered.

Mind you, there have been some awful, beaten with the ugly stick, nagging fillies, when not braying into my ear but were confusing the delicate art of fellatio with the process of ripping corn from its cob with their incisors, where I had an epiphany and truly appreciated the meaning of Art and Paul’s stunning, selfless biblical message to the followers of flares, that within the sound of silence, darkness was indeed my friend.

"derekdraper is following you"

Er, not any more he's not. Poor old Dolly, once again, like Jonah, his grandious plans for his masters to control the blogosphere have taken another turn for the worse. According to twitter, Dolly offended by violating these T&Cs:-

• a large number of people block the profile in question
  
• a large number of people write in with spam complaints for a specific profile
  
• aggressive following (a large number of people are followed in a short amount of time)
  
• extremely imbalanced follower/following ratio
  

Problem is, Dolly thinks he can treat the internet like any other traditional media - you know, phone it up, get all aggressive, bully and shout and threaten so he can get his own way.

It's Dolly's way. It's Labour's way.

The Internet? No way.

(h/t Guido)

The curse of Jonah strikes again

One minute Gordon is telling congress that Kennedy is to receive an honoury knighthood:

“Northern Ireland today is at peace,” Brown said. “More Americans have health care. Children around the world are going to school. And for all those things, we owe a great debt to the life and courage of Senator Edward Kennedy.”

Next minute, all hell breaks loose in Northern Ireland...

Bloomberg

Grauniad

Why LabourList will fail

As I haven't been there for several weeks, I had a quick look at Dolly's Labourlost blog, you know, the one that is "a place for labour-minded people to come together online and discuss politics".

Except that there isn't a great deal of discussion going on, just posts that mirror the labour party message du jour. Nothing about ID cards, crime figures, gordon's culpability of the demise of the horn of plenty etc Just a daily piece of propaganda from the labour bunker.

The whole raison d'être of a blog is to provide a platform to encourage discussion. To argue. To throw ideas around. To share viewpoints. To score points and to expose some other not necessarily tasteful human behaviours.

The problem with the old question: "why are labour so appallingly unsucessful at everything, including blogs?" can be answered with one word. Control.

Everything about labour can be distilled down into top down control.

You have a problem? Don't worry, the state will look after you.

Not sure what to eat? The state will tell you what you must and must not eat.

It's in their mindsets. It's in their DNA. It's their tribalist genes. The control. A blog without moderation and discussion is anathma to them. They can't allow people to disagree with the party line. They can't allow people to discuss freely their ideas. You must believe with all your heart that the state is right. And punishment for those that dare to differ and be individual.

So back to the image at the top of this article. This was in response to the drearily, obviously written by a wonk, Kerry "I agree with everything labour say and do without argument" McCarthy article about the argument for the privatisation of the Royal Mail.

Out of the pitifully small handful of replies that tried to deride labour's obvious attempts at spinning this awkward dilemma, only one person touched on the real reason behind this and...

... was promptly deleted as it was off-message.

That’s not a blog.

That’s Pravda. And we’ve already got one of those in Portland Place, London.

"She thinks it's all over, it is now..."

The picture that says it all in today's PMQs: Harman's realisation that she may have just lost her chance of succeeding Gordon in the race for the next Leader of the Opposition for several decades.

Note how the two stooges on either side, Miliband being a hopeful contender, are laughing at Harman's discomfort at Hague questioning her loyalty to "the man that never says sorry".

Another Pig Snuffling at the Trough

As Iain Dale, Guido and The Penguin have posted, Unite's Derek Simpson has been wallowing in the 5 star Waldorf hotel rather than catching the train 35 mins or being driven wee, wee, wee all the way home in his chauffeur driven car.

Simpson, who has joined the braying Mary Shelley extras in the demonising of “fat-cat” bankers, is up for re-election next week as leader of the Amicus half of the union.

A Unite spokesvermin vomited forth some lame justification about “being operationally appropriate” which ranks high amongst the disgust I have for weasel words such as “it is the right thing to do”, “lessons have been learnt” and “quantitative easing”.

Another runt likely to be voted out then, to be swapped by another gagging for the trough of plenty.

Hypocrites.

R.I.P Ivan Cameron

Terrible, terrible sad news.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you David and Samantha.

"There's no such thing as society"

Ah yes, the much bandied about soundbite so often parroted by non-thinking, tribalist lefties. Often used while one of them is reaching their "full froth and spitting" climax trying to blame Thatcher for the woes of Britain, rather than new labour's disasterous application of their misguided, cultural Marxist experiment.

Still, why let facts get in the way of watching them approaching a vile, hate-fuelled, comically animated and class-envied embolism.

The soundbite in its full context from Peter Oborne’s article in the Spectator magazine in August 2002:

"I think we've been through a period where too many people have been given to understand that if they have a problem, it's the government's job to cope with it. 'I have a problem, I'll get a grant.' 'I'm homeless, the government must house me.' They're casting their problem on society.

And, you know, there is no such thing as society.

There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first. It's our duty to look after ourselves and then, also to look after our neighbour. People have got the entitlements too much in mind, without the obligations. There's no such thing as entitlement, unless someone has first met an obligation."

Dolly's Downfall

An absolutely fantastic rendition of Bernd Eichinger's Downfall depicting the cockwaffery of the ex-tax payer funded precocious upstart that had the arrogance once to proclaim:

"There are 17 people who count in this government. And to say I am intimate with every one of them is the understatement of the century."

Draper's pitiful attempt to dominate the blogosphere whilst flying the socialist flag have so far failed dismally because as always, he can't stop his internal rage from dominating his atrophied intellect.

(h/t Donal Blaney)

Good Old Honest Labelling

I see the Tories are introducing a new campaign called Honest Food which although I agree with, I think it shrinks into insignificance when we contemplate the demise of UK plc.

Proper labelling of food is important for consumer choice as buying “British Pork” for instance could mean under current regulations that it has been imported from Eastern Europe and processed here which quite frankly does not mean British Pork.

Correct labelling has nothing to do with free trade or protectionism: it’s simply identifying where the product came from, without exploiting EU loopholes. In as a far as people expect to have the free choice of where to give money to their charity of choice, they should expect to pick and choose from where they buy their food from.

Sadly, the majority of people will choose on price and price alone and in the world of cut-throat supermarkets, quality often takes a back seat.

I tend to cook everything from fresh and avoid most processed foods, fast foods and don’t eat out that often in restaurants or gastro-pubs. I used to be Mr Microwave man and would think of nothing of buying a stack of 12 microwave meals from M&S and living off those, despite the horrific £500 monthly bills from my M&S charge card.

Those days are long gone and I enjoy cooking, love exploring different flavour combinations and find cooking a meal after a long day of stress quite therapeutic. It has become another hobby, or if I’m truthful about it, an obsession.

I make my own bread, my own pizzas, pasta, my own stir fries, mousses, pates, chutneys, desserts, Thai, Hungarian, Indian, soufflés, anything really. A great roast beef marinated in Indian spices with saffron roast potatoes and homemade Yorkshire in t’bread tin is a renown favourite of mine.

My initial cooking experiments consisted of constructing some cuisinary nightmares that resulted in dishes that would pummel your taste buds into submission before dragging your tongue out for a trip around Dante’s hell before immersing it into the Red Sea, some dishes that looked like a rejected Picassos, some that looked colourful (Beetroot hummus!) but had the consistency and taste like putty...

After many years I manage to tone everything done and just had two or three complimentary and sometimes contrasting flavours in my dishes. Things like scallops and shallots in a creamy tarragon and white wine sauce, homemade beef and Guinness pie, Thai salads with cashews, soy and honey dressing.

People always say that they would cook more but find it takes too long. Well, I can pick up a few salad leaves, pine nuts, onions and perhaps cook a little pancetta and in 10 mins, you have a great healthy salad. Takes 5 mins to fry a tuna steak and 15 mins to cook some rice.

Some people say it’s more expensive, especially when you say you get your meat from a butchers. This simply is not true – my local butcher gets in some great tasting meat and meats that aren’t found in the supermarkets. Why? Because they are cheap and don’t make much money and probably are off-putting for the general public.

I got some pig’s trotters for free as no-one was buying them from our butchers. Great cooked with paprika with traditional Hungarian recipe. Also, nice chuck steak mince, cheaper than the supermarkets because it was not that ultra-lean, tasteless crap that people think is such a healthy option. The other thing, is when I want a treat, rather than buying fillet steak, I buy a rump steak that has been matured for 28 days. Now people always say they don’t like rump steak because it’s chewy and fatty. Well, that’s true if you buy meat generally from a supermarket. From a butcher however, you’re looking at £3.50 for a large rump steak, fried either side for a minute on a super hot griddle and you have the most wonderful, soft, magnificent flavoured steak. Oh, and his bacon doesn’t shrivel to the size of postage stamps when you fry them as I’ve found a fair amount of the supermarket offering contain so much water.

People will always say that they want to buy the cheapest value chicken to feed their families as they cannot afford it. Well, my thoughts are, why keep feeding your family meat every day? Pasta (3 eggs, flour, 10 mins to make, a couple of hours to dry), salads, fruits, soups, bread are incredibly cheap to make and taste great. You can then treat yourself to one or two meat dishes during the day.

I used to eat meat every day. Well, I used to buy processed meat every day: “I feel like chicken every f***ing night” – that was me. Now, I just cook fresh food, more veg and salad than meat and I feel better and financially better for it.

So, go to your local butcher and check out his meat, go to your local grocer’s or pick your own farm (great for kids) and get fresh, local, great tasting seasonal food and learn how to cook it.

You’ll find the cost of your food shopping reduces significantly and you can get the whole family to help out too.

IT Consultancies Feeling The Pinch

It looks like Siemens has joined the growing number of large companies that are cancelling third-party consultants’ contracts

One of my main petrochemical clients had a drive to cut costs at the beginning of last year and ended up bringing in one of those “Grim Reaper” style management consultants for six months which caused a cacophony of carnage and resulted in half the staff losing their jobs, work being channelled to external teams and all budgets frozen.

Needless to say, our main area of project work had been targeted for termination and resulted in us desperately running around trying to generate some more business, especially as a large piece of work we were about to sign had suddenly been canned at the 11th hour.

The disenfranchised petrochemical team that remained were livid at seeing these management consultants break apart their work, ignore their concerns and make changes that seemed to be for the sake of changing things rather than having a deep understanding of the business.

The particular piece of work that we designed and were supporting at that time was moved offshore without the consultants or the recipient team even finding out who was currently supporting it.

There were plenty of demoralised staff accusing the cost saving fiasco as nothing more than a “being seen to be doing something” especially when you considered how much money could have been saved by not using this management consultancy in the first place. This sounds remarkably similar to the behaviour that our glorious Supreme Leader has been undertaking recently (courtesy of Burning our Money)

Like most SMEs, we tend to sense the whiff of a depression sooner than most and ”survival of the quickest” is a maxim worth remembering.