Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Missed all the banter on Guido's Live PMQs? Can't be arsed to trawl through pages of the windowlicking scribblings of the demented? Want to see the highlights in one easy to digest posting?

Well, welcome to the weekly Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Goodbye Darling Edition

What's For Lunch Carlos?
Carlos MIA

Theresa May Spacesuit Watch
.243 Win: May's the Urban Spacebird again...

BristolDave: Hooray, the Helmetless Astronaut is back!

Steve Expat: Theresa May in the spacesuit again...

Dick Scratcher: And so, Theresa May’s back, from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed my stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key. If I had known for just one second. You'd be back to bother me…etc.

coco the conspirator: is teresa wearing an action man diving suit?

.243 Win: Dick : "She's the Urban Spacebird baby, but here's the twist : She don't exist". Apologies to the Bonzo Dog band...

The IMF is coming: Theresa off diving later

@paulwaugh: Theresa May laughing so much at GB that her star trek outfit looked like it was going to beam itself up

Tory Tittle Tattler: how much longer are we going to have to wait before theresa may gets rid of that awful star trek jacket!

@niallpaterson: Tory frontbench sitting in silence. Probably as dumb-struck as i am by Theresa May's jacket.

Hain Pantone Watch
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 811 (neon pumpkin)

Dodgy Tie of the Week
BristolDave: God almighty, where did that tie come from?

Bristol Dave : The 70's

Star Trek Watch
.243 Win: Malik being this weeks token Ferrangi.

Claw Watch
.243 Win: The CLAW !!!!

Beware of Geeks: Claw watch!

Labour Parody of the Week
Geraldine Dreadful MP: This budget will hopefully reinstate the milk taken away from our kids by the hated Margaret Thatcher

Best Line of the Week
hugh: i got a taxi back from the pub last night - 5 grand!

@torybear: Nice taxpayer funded helicopter for Darling's wake

Roger Thornhill: A Flatulence Fart For All

Dick Scratcher: Stephen Byers latest: I had that Rosie Winterton in the back of my cab last week. It was a threesome with John Prescott.

.243 Win: Christ on a bike. Smiffy can always find work as the model for the next "Chucky" movie.

Beware of Geeks: Hang on a minute, he's now saying it has gone up again? Have I had a Flash Forward?

Dick Scratcher: Mountford : I wouldn't touch her with yours

BristolDave: Look at Brown's hand waving! Ooh Ducky!

Dick Scratcher: Sarah Brown getting bullying lessons from Naomi Campbell

RantinRab: He sent our gold in a big pre paid envelope

Urban Tory: I must say, I am going to miss those eyebrows from the front bench

BristolDave: Urban Tory: You may not have to miss them, I'm sure he'll rent them out to someone else

Tom FD: he likes to present himself as Mister Trans-pear-ant

Steve Expat: nokias doing their pre-flight checks already

Tom FD: I had that Stephen Byers in my cab and he was driving it

BristolDave: I was in a cab and it was Stephen Byers

Roger Thornhill: Yvette has the smallest head in the HoC

.243 Win: Kemp : Frankinstein had a bad day with that one...

Spank Sinatra: It's Mr Potato Head

@niallpaterson: Brown clearly not happy today. Arms crossed when listening to Cameron, and what my gran would call "a face like fizz"

John Ward: Ranks, certainly. There's a rank stench, and Byers is in a taxi-rank.

BristolDave: "Let me thank my honourable friend for that planted question"

Another Engineer: Zero emissions? Where the hell does the electricity come from you muppet?

Bill Quango mp: While Prescott lives we will never get zero emissions.

RantinRab: It's to be called the Nissan Tw@t.

mort: gawd gorgon is boiling, hope his head explodes

spotty: the new 'leaf 'car. A free calendar to check your acceleration

Geraldine Dreadful MP: I can't get a taxi anywhere now Byers raised the going rate to five grand.

Old Holborn: the most corrupt parliament in living memory

Vladikavkaz: I burnt my toast this morning, Ashcrofts fault

Taxi Driver for hire: £5k a day

Rog: Who IS that swarthy homunculus a few seats to Brown's left? Some sort of ethnic Oompah Loompah?

Geraldine Dreadful MP: I think John Bercow is fabulous. But then I thought he was a janitor.

Beware of Geeks: Brown is comparing New York Apples with English pears

Hugh Jardon: nodding her head like a £100.00 /hr prozzy

Old Holborn: Labour wants to touch your children

Nick2: Sure Start? Didn't Smackney Council close one as it was 'too middle class'?

.243 Win: Someone tell Loch Ness it's monster is missing..

Roger Thornhill: Just because Socialism is legal, does not mean it is safe

Legally Retarded: I'm surprised Bell doesn't just run down and suck him off...

@torybear: Gordon events new drug "methoderdrown"

Roger Thornhill: Gordon puts the N in Cuts.

dr. sipp: i never got my free plastic toy in my sugar puffs cereal ---im blaming ashcroft

Beware of Geeks: Question to the Prime Minister: "What is the square root of 16,433?" Answer from the Prime Mentalist: "Lord Ashcroft"

Vladikavkaz: the square root of 16433 was only 128 in 1997, but we have increased this by 50% in real terms to 192.

Dick Robinson: lord ashcroft production has risen by 20%

Bill Quango mp: Breaking News ***Chancellor takes two bottles of scotch to the Budget**** Means spirits going up or he needs a lot of false courage


  1. MIA? Me? No, was just rather, ahem, busy. If you get what I mean.

  2. Thank goodness for that Carlos! Hopefully see you next week then for the penultimate PMQs before the election!