Children are our future

I was sitting in a doctor's waiting room with my elderly mother when a young girl went up to all the empty seats and banged them with both her hands. This went on for several minutes and as she approached me I noticed she had snot running down her face. As she was sneezing and coughing I deduced she must have had bird flu, although glancing at her rotund "the worlds a Kentucky Fried oyster" mother, it could have been swine flu.

With that, she wiped the strings of mucus onto her hands and then proceeded to play the game of banging the empty seats and wiping the snotty putty on them.

Not one person said anything apart from the mother who shouted large words of encouragement to her feral offspring. With her continual diatribe of describing the exact actions of her kid to what appeared to be no-one in particular, for a moment, I thought I was starring in some sort of docu-drama.

Sadly, not a camera was to be found so I simply shouted: "Can you control your child please, as she has flu and is spreading her germs around this waiting room full of elderly and infirm people here. It is NOT a kindergarten".

The mother just scowled at me and reluctantly tried to control her spawn by a series of commands, rather than the obvious way of getting her fat lardarse off the fucking chair and grabbing the kid.

Not one person said a thing.

I hate this thing when parents allow their children to run amok in public places such as restaurants, libraries, supermarkets and waiting rooms. Especially supermarkets. What is it that these new mummies have to shout out loud to their kids explaining everything mummy is doing and what little Johnny would like to choose. It's annoying, I keep looking for the cameras and sound crew making their next documentary.

There's nothing worse then closing ones eyes as one delicately savours a rare 28 day mature rump steak and some minion from Beelzebub armed with some stolen restaurant cutlery comes screaming at your table firing a salvo of partially digested bread, deep fried chicken mcbollocks and grass from their gaping craw while their parents all look so fucking pleased with themselves and go "Aaaaaaaah!" as though they are singing the Girl from fecking Ipanema.

Nukids - fecking the spawn of the Devil - I'm not afraid to tell them quite loudly: "FUCK OFF!"

The Chipmunk's Blankety-Blank Cheque

Hazel Blears promised to pay £13,332 in capital gains tax that she had avoided when she sold one of her homes.

If this cheque was for a CGT liability, what about the interest and late payment charges that HMRC would normally demand on late notification and payment?

Also, included with the penalties should be increased charges of CGT @ 40%, not 18% as this has changed recently. So her cheque should be around £18,000 plus penalties and interest.

Where is the HMRC demand?

Has it been paid?

When asked by the Salford Star she said:

“I don't know yet what they intend to do with it” she says “I am clear that I don't want it offset against future tax liability. If they return it, I will make an equivalent donation to a
good cause.”

Yeah, like the labour party? This is just window dressing for her Salford constituency. From the woman that said "In a recession, there's no space for freeloaders".

Sanctimonious hypocrite. I hope the electorate in Salford fight their tribalist instincts and vote labour out next year.

H/T Image Sheikyermami

"Take your Oyster card and shove it up your arsehole"

In "honour" of this sanctimonious little Trotskyist shithead, a well known little ditty as performed by the Amateur Transplants (updated song on their website).

London Underground Song

Audio NSFW

Voluntary Repatriation Scheme

Nick Griffin mentioned this last night after winning his seat. I thought it was a BNP thing but in actual fact, it has been on the Government statute books since 1971:

Voluntary Repatriation Scheme

That's something the media do not report.

Live Election Results from Iain Dale

+++ Gordon Brown being pushed out +++

Just heard on BBC Daily Politics show that one of the reporters had been speaking for a few hours with Labour backbenchers and there is a concerted effort via a petition to remove Gordon Brown and replace him with Alan Johnson.

Interesting times....!

+++ Latest Poll: Labour going, going, gone +++

Just seen this latest poll from Mr Dale's site:

CON 40%(-1) LAB 18%(-10) LIB DEM 18%(-4)

More details here...

"Eject Eject Eject!"

I get the feeling that the Labour party are going through the same emotions as this trainee pilot!

You know, keep your nose up and clean, keep burning the taxpayers money, and hope no Guido Falcon spoils your despicable troughfest by headbutting your titanium fan blades causing a flameout!

The only difference with this brave scenario of decent military aviators versus the scumbag politicos, I hope due to their fiscal incompetence, MPs have found that they couldn't afford the parachutes.

Just had a thought...

A few weeks ago, swine flu ridden MPs were collectively snorting a sigh of relief as their expenses were going to be doctored to remove the incriminating evidence before being open to public viewing in July, conveniently after the June elections.

Now that the Telegraph have access to the uncensored itemised receipts, will parliament now reveal the receipts uncensored?

A bit of a tricky one this...

How "old wives tales" become government policy

Hat Tip to the Freedom To Choose blog via uber-bloggers Dick Puddlecote and LegIron on how an unscientific report consisting of a phonecall to 1000 bovine idiots whether they thought people who are smokers can infect people simply by standing next to them. Note, not actually smoking, but "3rd hand smoke".

The report concluded from the responses of the non-thinkers that yes indeedy, babies and the sick will die of cancer by simply standing next to a smoker.

And behold, via the equally lobotomised media, it became policy and now smokers are not permitted to enter the Royal Oldham Hospital in Manchester, simply because they choose to smoke. Note: not smoking, but have been or are smokers.

Another example of where no scientific proof will get in the way of a predetermined decision by the the Wretched.

Wake up Neo...(knock knock)

Uncensored expenses revelation is Labour spin operation?

Blogs everywhere are going bananas about the Telegraph's revelations of MP's uncensored expenses claims. Although we were due to see these in July, MPs ordered certain "private" (read incriminating) details be removed.

At the moment, these are all about the current Labour government and so far Harperson has been flitting from Sky to the BBC (Pravda) in a vain attempt to repeat the mantra:

"It was within the rules, the old system was wrong, we have recognised this and we will be reviewing this"

Which I and everyone else reads as:

"Shit! We've been caught out, it's bad, very bad, and now we've got to pretend to change the system"

However, once again my spider senses are tingling:

Could this simply be an opportunistic way of dumping out bad Labour news now, and then revealing the Tory expenses closer to the elections in a few weeks time, especially considering the Labour biased behaviour of the Telegraph over the last few years?

Ghurkas backtracking farce by the labour government

Joanna Lumley had said she was 'devastated and shocked' at the verdicts on the five men and threatened to voice her anger at a press conference this afternoon.

She was called into a urgent meeting with Immigration Minister Phil Woolas to be told the rejections had 'no practical effect'.

And so the backtracking commences. See Joanna's face as the weasel Woolas squirms his labour lies:

BBC Website

Prescott's New Career Inspired By Jim Carrey

Prescott

Predator

A new career beckons in 2010, Mr Prescott!

The Surreal World of Alistair Dali

Much better bloggers than me are tearing into the budget quite admirably but unfortunately I do not have the time today to add to the carcass tearing.

With all these budgets, the nasty stuff is in the detail and I heard George Osborne pick up an increase on NI. Once again, the "stealth tax" is used with vigour. From what I understand, the announcement means that the employee’s NI rate will rise from 11% to 11.5% and the employer's NI rate from 12.8% to 13.3%.

The thing that angered me the most was that once again, they have not bothered to cut the unaffordable public sector. It's madness. It's treasonable.

title h/t: private eye

Dolly making someone scared in government

Who is he trying to warn in the government?

More at the mirror here

h/t: James Vellacott

Comedy spot on Guido's uber-blog

I think Alice Miles deserves some sort of award for this article.

Perhaps Andrew Marr could give her one?

ROFLOL!

Dolly's new book - priceless

Click on image to view a larger size and just check out those Amazon reviews as well as the labels!

"Not very absorbent. And too few sheets. Spreads it everywhere in fact. All over the place. Even the walls of Number 10 are covered."

Auf Wiedersehen, Dolly

Oh no, looks like the Sunday online papers and blogs are going to be interesting reading tomorrow about the emails that Guido has given away revealing McBride attempting a Tory personal smear campaign through Dolly's Labourlost shite.

Oh, and by the way Derek, as you commented on my site a few weeks ago, it's not sour grapes: I genuinely like having you around the blogosphere because I cannot think of a single entity (except for The Prime Mentalist) that provides such great ammunition for entertainment.

h/t: especially to Tory Bear, Guido, Iain Dale et al

G20 "riots" stage managed?

This image and others like it during the G20 summit that have been shown throughout the MSM in the past few days has triggered something in my subconscious for some time, like an alarm clock slowly ticking in the background.

Today I have finally worked out what it is: that blood and injury is fake, and the bloke is clearly provoking a response from the police.

The question behind it is why?

Is it an anarchist group? Is it a government agenda to unsuccessfully create a riot? Is it a plant by the police in testing their riot operations? Is it the media trying to sensationalise a story?

I don't know. But there is something clearly wrong with that picture.

Beware the IMF in June

Looks like The Prince of Darkness let the cat out the bag on C4 last night when Jon Snow got him to admit that in actual fact we WERE in the queue for the IMF, just not at the top.

Still, I reckon the pravda-esque BBC will report it as this:

While what really everyone is thinking is this: