Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Budget Bashing Edition

Where Guido's window lickers come and gather, to blather and let rip their feelings on all things politics as the MPs assemble for the Wednesday lunchtime ritual of Prime Minister's Question Time.

A maelstrom of lexicon, a staccato of snipes, an orgy of aggressive and jocular banter hosted by Guido.

Did you miss the funny one liners from Messrs Ward, Sinatra, Stone and Scratcher?!?

Well fear not - here are the highlights and if Harman's head explodes Scanner style, then god forgive you for not being there to laugh out loud on Guido's Live Chat!


What's for lunch Carlos?

MIA


Theresa May Spacesuit Watch

MIA


Harman's "Big Game" Safari watch

Beware of Geeks: No giraffe suit - bah

Ghost of Greg Stone: Zebra to the right


Hain (and Cam) Pantone Watch

Dick Scratcher: Cameron Pantone Reference : 817F (Volcanic Andre)

Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 810B (Spring Gavin Henson)


TeatherWatch

MIA


Dodgy Tie of the Week

Tom FD: clegg wearing a red tie?


Star Trek Watch

Beware of Geeks: Star Trek refeerence

gone fuckin mental: black hole

Ghost of Greg Stone: Star trek joke fell flat this week

Should_Be_Working: More Star Trek stuff?

Posh Tory: Hate to point out that you can't dig in a black hole...


Talon Watch

Roger Thornhill: Careful Cameron, you appear to be catching the curse of the claw


Labour parody of the Week

Heard it all before dave: PFIs still exist, they are tory policy, deficit reduction, no, they increase the deficit. Dave's full of **** and is merely consolidating his and his fellow millionaires' wealth.


Best line of the Week

John Ward: *Vince* Cable TV!!


Highlights

Dick Scratcher: Dismal Dave = dolphin friendly twat

obangobang: Nandy's handy, apparently.

Dick Scratcher: Stand by for a repeat of the scene from ‘Scanners’ when Harperson’s head explodes

Barry Fuckwit: Has Dave got his mum sat next to him?

Dorian Smith: Oh dear, hereeeeeeee's Michael White!

Tiewatcher: Spag Bollocks

gone fuckin mental: 3-0 from the back

Dick Scratcher: Smash - right in the back of the neck

Beware of Geeks: It's funny hearing Labour having a go at the Tories - it's like blaming your morning dump on your neighbour's carpet.... on your neighbour!

Spank Sinatra: Oh sit down you little runt

Should_Be_Working: Cameron's not straight? Does Samantha know?

Beware of Geeks: Geek-onomics surely

obangobang: I'd like to wish England the best of luck tomorrow on their journey home

obangobang: Cristophe Lamby Pie?

Ghost of Greg Stone: Fusion research for the coalition?

Spank Sinatra: Large hadron collider couldn't make them love each other

13eastie: DC appears to have found Carol Caplin's sun-bed in the attic of No. 10

Beware of Geeks: What's that? Vevuzelas, thousands of them!

Roger Thornhill: Bercow sounds like he is calling out "Cashier number four, please"

Dick Scratcher: I’ve worked out why Dismal Dave gave the cosmonaut the Home Office – he parks his bike in her cleavage

Beware of Geeks: Andrew Selous like Petit Filous!

John Ward: "Mmm. Port Salut!"

Ghost of Greg Stone: Thats cheesy John Ward

John Ward: I know, Ghost, but I'm just a softy. When I'm being hard, I go for blue Stilton.

Dick the Prick: Whoa - need a distillery to shag that

Should_Be_Working: We forecast that the number of children living under Labour will be zero.

Dick the Prick: Peter Bone - hee hee hee

Dick Scratcher: Cow in house

Spank Sinatra: This guy does not have opposable thumbs

MisterE: Blimey - she hasn't missed many dinners...

Dick Scratcher: Who is that fat bastard?

John Ward: Diane Abbott, I think, or John Prescott...

Beware of Geeks: The bastard spinster of Abbot and Prescott's affair

Dick Scratcher: She has 2 Jags for lunch

Ghost of Greg Stone: Stuff Sinn Fein

Dick Scratcher: Can you hear ticking?

John Ward: Surely Hexham (from its name) should have *six* pubs?

jgm2: Surely Hexham should have six pigs. I think I slept with all of them.

Beware of Geeks: Ozzie looks like he's about to throw up - been to a good party last night - drink, coke and hookers

keeprightonline: I'm so sound they've started calling me 'Vuvuzela'... also coz I'm annoying as ****

Sir Trev Skint MP: Just in case there are any Talybunnies listening

Ghost of Greg Stone: Fog in Channel, Continent isolated.

Spank Sinatra: Diane Abbot's black hole? Yuk