Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Missed all the banter on Guido's Live PMQs? Can't be bothered to trawl through pages of the windowlicking scribblings of the demented? Want to see the highlights in one easy to digest posting?

Well, welcome to the weekly Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Harman's Second Chance Edition



What's For Lunch Carlos?

MIA



Theresa May Spacesuit Watch

Beware of Geeks: I've spied Theresa May - she's wearing the spacesuit again!

dmh: Theresa May-space 1999 oufit.

Steve Expat: Theresa in the space suit again!

Harman's "Big Game" Safari watch

Steve Expat: no giraffe suit this week

Spank Sinatra: Good grief - my screen's having a fit!

Beware of Geeks: Just gonna get my hunting rifle

Old holborn: get a shotgun, all of you, quick

Dick the Prick: Spilt Jack's spunk over her

Billy Blofeld: Is that some sort of urban camoflage on Hattie?

John Ward: We're back to the original giraffe outfit this week, rather than the backup one we saw last week...

Dick Scratcher: She's wearing a sofa

Hain Pantone Watch

Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone ref - 818B (Belisha Pepper)

TeatherWatch

The little hamster pixie was missing



Dodgy Tie of the Week

Ghost of Greg Stone: Hague with a yellow tie the coalition is going too far

Robson S: Hague got the mustard tie on and growing the hair back a la Ming - has he been traded to the LibDems? Tessa Jowell looks like Rosa Klebb on downers - not even that dress will cheer her up. Probably thinking of how Berlisconi cocked things up for Millsy

Tiewatcher: Hague favours yellow ties - classic lt blue shirt / yellow tie combo, always good with a navy suit

Bill Quango MP: Its not a yellow tie..its his judo belt

Spank Sinatra: Don't forget Hagues spandex outfit underneath however

Tiewatcher: Desmond Swayne's tie quite good - directly behind Cam

JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: cleggy gone green tie seen that one before >matalan

Tiewatcher: nice tie behind George Young

Tiewatcher: good effort from VInce on the tie front

Star Trek Watch

No Vulcans sighted



Claw Watch

Unsworth: Seems to have caught the box banging disease. Something on the Govt benches? Next, The Claw? Urgent medical assistance needed, I think.

Labour parody of the Week

Strangely absent



Best line of the Week

Dick Scratcher: Q: What is Diane Abbot going to do about defence? A: Paint it de same colour as de house.

Highlights

Steve Expat: Morning from somewhere hot and sunny!!

Beware of Geeks: Cleethorpes?

guidofawkes: Just did a bit of voguing to Daily Politics guess the year soundtrack. Memories..

Old holborn: anyone seen Gordon? Is he at the Priory?

Billy Blofeld: Not the Priory - Jonah's been hanging around BP a lot....

Old holborn: Great news about abolishing free school meals. Most kids round our way look like Jabba the ****ing Hut

Dick the Prick: Mr Spunker

Robson S: Gordon ever gonna show up? Watched that documentary on Nixon again last night - remarkable similarities with McDoom

Dick Scratcher: I thought glenoglaza was an Italian window shine ???

Beware of Geeks: Roger de Courcey's got a new job I see

Dick Scratcher: Let the sheep shaggers have independence & we'll take our public sector jobs out

Old holborn: Set the Welsh adrift

John Ward: Disdain from Hain, but he's a pain!

John Ward: Not so far Farronn as Faraway, I think...

Ghost of Greg Stone: Can you ban MichaelWhite Guido boring idiot

Dick the Prick: BAN STUFF NOW. Down with this sort of thing

Billy Blofeld: Hattie and Tessa look like they have dressed for Songs of Praise...

Head Lizard: Hague uses too much noggin polish

JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: Can't see Gordon Brown anywhere must be saving the world (cup)

Dick the Prick: Danger danger, high voltage high voltage

PSBCustard: Osborne looks as though he's dreaming of knocking one out over Harperson's tits

JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: hair by harmony... or har by harmony

Dick Scratcher: Beware of Geeks - who's the T shirt model on your website? Can I have her number?

Beware of Geeks: @Dick Scratcher - my man boobs

John Ward: Harman: "Um, let's think of a way to make this look like I'm right..."

Steve Expat: Shut up Hattie, I know you're not used to seeing an honest answer at PMQs but you got one!

Dick Scratcher: Eric Pickles wants an equal seat to Sarah Teather

Old holborn: Eric Pickles should have to win two seats

Billy Blofeld: Abbott and Balls - fantastic...

guidofawkes: Unconfirmed rumour that Diane Abbott has made it through

Beware of Geeks: @Guido - made it through? What, a morning without eating 18 cakes?

Dick Scratcher: Tessa Jowell is wearing the curtains...

Headsonpoles: Vote Abbot - or Spitfire or London Pride

Tom FD: may looks awful

Beware of Geeks: @Tom FD - It's what prolonged exposure to zero gravity does to you

guidofawkes: Hattie's comedian script writer shows her skills

Beware of Geeks: "Bring back Gordon!" Er, no sorry,.. nurse, my pills please

PSBCustard: You don't need CCTV. Just shoot all miscreants and put more bobbies on the beat.

Old holborn: Ed Balls is Alf Garnett LOVE IT

Old holborn: @Ed Balls "Blaaahdy Cooonns"

Bill Quango MP: In Sickness and in Health - ed and hattie

Old holborn: Ken Clark is nursing his unborn baby

Billy Blofeld: Wolverine's grandad

Spank Sinatra: Love the racoon hat

Old Holborn: osbourne is on "pause"

Dick Scratcher: Ozzy needs new batteries

Steve Expat: "Big is not always beautiful" - Kerry McCarthy?

Spank Sinatra: Lots of fish in Luton

Beware of Geeks: An equal opportunity haddock

Spank Sinatra: She could suck start a Harley

Dick Scratcher: Wasn't she on Property Ladder?

DS Need to be a strong ****ing ladder...

Old Holborn: We need high speed rail to get the heroin addled wife beaters back to Scotland asap

Dick Scratcher: Mandy wants to come on England

Quote of the Day: Dave's got more plants than a Vietnamese cannabis factory FFS.