Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Schools Out for Summer Edition

Where Guido's window lickers come and gather, to blather and let rip their feelings on all things politics as the MPs assemble for the Wednesday lunchtime ritual of Prime Minister's Question Time.

A maelstrom of lexicon, a staccato of snipes, an orgy of aggressive and jocular banter hosted by Guido.

Did you miss the funny one liners from Messrs Ward, Sinatra, Stone and Scratcher?!?

Well fear not - here are the highlights and if Harman's head explodes Scanner style, then god forgive you for not being there to laugh out loud on Guido's Live Chat!


What's for lunch Carlos

Still MIA


Theresa May Spacesuit Watch

Dick Scratcher: @Geeks: FYI T May was wearing her cosmonaut outfit on ITN last night - it did not get burnt on re-entry


Harman's "Big Game" Safari watch

Govt-By-Cluster-Fuck: is that a prison uniform jacket ? and doesnt she own an iron ?

Wight Tory: Tom Watsons Suit is being worn, he's gone for her giraffe number

Tuscan Tony: Looking at the jacket, does Harriet work part time in a butchers' shop?


Hain (and Cam) Pantone Watch

Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 817B (NYPD basketball)


TeatherWatch

MIA


Dodgy Tie of the Week

Tiewatcher: Clegg has a new tie - he usually goes for plain ones

John Ward: Neutral tie for Clegg today...

Beware of Geeks: Very blue tie for Ozzie

manceyy: Georges tie is V bold

Billy Blofeld: Ties sponsored by British Gas

GV: There's nothing wrong with Osborne's tie - it fits snugly over his beer belly

Tiewatcher: Dave Anderson: that shirt and tie don't match your suit


Labour parody of the Week

Proud to be Labour: Labour will destroy Cameron on BSF. Labour builds schools. Tories tear them down to set up dangerous free-market experiments.


Best line of the Week

Tuscan Tony: Expensive drugs - Osbourne springs awake.


Highlights

John Ward: This week has been a good justification for using public funds for clearing out a Moat...

Spank Sinatra: Here's hoping harpic has a niqab on

.243 Win: Spank : Head-mounted bin liner would be better....

Old Holborn: I'm going on a Calais booze cruise. Dressed in a Burqa

Old Holborn: Is that a chimpanzee mask he's wearing?

.243 Win: Someone's given her a good raging if the hair's anything to go by

Old Holborn: ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Raoul Moat: Thats what I said OH

Old Holborn: Yvette looking like a fat sad Phil Oakey from Human League

Balls is bonkers: Yvette Balls is wearing a vest

Dick the Prick: Are Harperson's breasts trying to break free?

Rog: Harm-man's zoot suit is melting my retinas.

Tuscan Tony: Gordon is at the 3rd level of sedation.

Dick Scratcher: Harpic has an ego the size of Michelle Obama’s ass

Rog: Yvette has obviously upped her medication. Either that or had a stroke.

Beware of Geeks: When's bonker's book coming out?

.243 Win: Geeks : When someone can decypher the crayon marks.

Tuscan Tony: Police force in Hackney should be 40% rasta.

Old Holborn: Yvette has borrowed Mick Hucknells face

Rog: OH: I think she turned it inside out before wearing it.

Dick Scratcher: Yvette really DOES deserve a good piping today

Tuscan Tony: Which pipe, Scratcher?

Guido Fawkes: You see Ed Balls was having a drink with Bevanite Ellie on the terrace last night before Yvette dragged him away.

Old Holborn: Nice to see George Mellie's suit went to as good home

John Ward: From George Melly to Harpy SMelly.

Tuscan Tony: Will she ask Dave if he knows anyone mad and bad?

Dick Scratcher: Oliver Letwin = Rubenesque artists model

Dick the Prick: Olly Letwin looks ripe for a heart attack

Beware of Geeks: I think Ozzie is straining for another bowl breaker

The whole of Wales: does that mean we'll have to get a job boyos?

.243 Win: Mad, bad, sad Nads. But you still would.

John Ward: Francis Maude seems to have some residual chewing gum in his mouth...

Guido Fawkes: Go on iPSA starve the b*******s

Ghost of Greg Stone: jeez is he never going to get to a Q?

Beware of Geeks: I hear he charges £1/h for public speaking - he's now a millionaire!

Dick Scratcher: I predict a rabbit

Dorian Smith: I like maguire's photo, was it taken when he was in a boy band?

Dick Scratcher: Robertson = 250lb Haggis

Old Holborn: he's had plenty of hot dinners

Rog: Pie disappearance mystery solved. Close the case.

Old Holborn: Is that a norman helmet she's wearing?

Beware of Geeks: Ding dong!

Beware of Geeks: Christ, I should have gone to Specsavers

Dick the Prick: @BoG - stop, desist, restrain and prevent

Afghanistan Banana Stand: Geeks: you need new glasses

Guido Fawkes: Can't believe 13% of you are suicidal.

John Ward: I can't even pronounce his constituency name...

Tuscan Tony: Expensive drugs - Osbourne springs awake.

Guido Fawkes: Time for the pub, would the 11% of you who are suicidal go out and get some sunshine.