Guido's PMQs LiveChat: "Negative Growth" Edition

Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers (or as Tuscan Tony likes to call us: fenestral slaverers – nice one!) gather for Wednesday's PMQs.

Quite a good one today with Cameron on fiery form and RedEd inevitably playing the Coulson joker which Cameron batted away with some ease.

Lots of Dodgy Ties of the Week this session and the unusual situation of having so many MPs having ties with various strange hues of green:

Dick Scratcher: Nice tie toenails !!!

Dick Scratcher: ...my daughter has a pair of knickers that pattern

JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: Loads of Blue ties on the COALITION front bench

John M Ward: Lavender tie on Ed-M...

JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: purple tie pretentions of lordship

John M Ward: Interesting colour (green) tie...

iainmartinwsj: Bad shirt/tie combo from Ed Balls, pale lilac tie with pale lilacish shirt shld be a non-starter. Philip Hammond properly dressed BTW

Thanks as always to Dick Scratcher with his Hain Pantone Reference:

Hain Pantone Reference : 819G (Punkawalla Piri Piri)

Pun of the Week is awarded to PunMeister Special John M Ward when referring to Labour's Elizabeth Truss for:

John M Ward: Coo! Those are big beads around her neck. Perhaps it's a form of truss...

Although Tuscan Tony almost pipped the post with his pun aimed at Labour's Hot Totty, Stella Creasy:

Tuscan Tony: Stella can have a pint of mine.

Best line of the Week goes to Dick Scratcher with the outrageously five fingered shuffled:

Dick Scratcher: Is it “sexistismistic” to state that I would like to shoot my fat all over Caroline Flint’s face?

Here are the highlights:-


Dick Scratcher: Nice tie toenails !!!

Dick Scratcher: ...my daughter has a pair of knickers that pattern

Tuscan Tony: Morning fenestral slaverers

John M Ward: Howdy gang. Earwig-o again!

Dick Scratcher: Is it “sexistismistic” to state that I would like to shoot my fat all over Caroline Flint’s face?

Genghiz the Kahn: flint looks like a giraffe.

jgm2: @Ghengiz - looking like a giraffe is Harman's job.

Ed But Look Balls: Flint's Fat Fighs on view!

Dick the Prick: Balls looking tres smug. Ian got the strap-on again this morning?

John M Ward: What is that strange pattern on Caroline Flint's top/dress? Reminds me of something from a Horror Channel trailer...

Tuscan Tony: Flinty: she should be a footie linesgirl.

Beware of Geeks: First dig at Balls

Tuscan Tony: scratch rather than dig, BoG

stormforce: Did Gordon throw tippexth on rEd's head?

Dick the Prick: Ed looks very smart - his mum will be proud. Musn't be late for tea though - fish fingers tonight

Tuscan Tony: Economy was growing because you borrowed £ 300bn. Fantasist.

joolzg: golden inheritence, good one

Beware of Geeks: Balls... a face and look you never tire of punching

the money shot: the four letter C word-------CUTS

John M Ward: Ed'th thurprithed...

Tuscan Tony: I have to laugh: the two Eds- woudl it be possible to choose two more hilarious muppets?

Dick Scratcher: Better to quote Dickie Davies - "And now the wrestling..."

obangobang: Oh dear. He's fired the Coulson bazooka and it blew up in his face.

Joe T: Ed's just been shadow chancelowned

Govt-By-Cluster-F***: Balls has got that "Gordon" look

JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: just opened a bottle of Courage Directors ----Moats Moggy

Beware of Geeks: I wonder if we could have a PMQs where ever time a question isn't answered Esther McVey takes an item of clothing off

Tuscan Tony: BoG: or Harriet puts another bag over her head.

Beware of Geeks: I would bring back Gordon to ensure all clothes are removed by the eigth question

John M Ward: Back on track now, with a Geordie glottle-stopper...

John M Ward: "In the interest of furrness" ??

John M Ward: Coo! Those are big beads around her neck. Perhaps it's a form of truss...

Tuscan Tony: Pearl necklace, John Ward

Dorian Smith: "Is that Clare Short's sister?" - could be her stunt double

John M Ward: "Clare Short" "stunt double". If that Short, more like a stunted double...

Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s tortoise has just died.

JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: IF THEY ARE IN A CARE HOME WHY DO THE NEED A MOBILITY ALLOWANCE FOR A CAR ETC

jgm2: @JulianBray - because the Labour councillor's brother runs the local Mobility franchise.

Urban Tory: looks like she's got Bagpuss on her head

Beware of Geeks: I've found Mrs Slocombe's pussy!

the last quango in paris: the speaker is sounding more and more like the bloke from bullseye

Dick Scratcher: LATEST : The BBC are launching a political game show in Spring. Contestants Martin Sorrell, Gerry Robinson, Jonathan Powell, Martin Amis and Christopher Meyer will compete to establish which one of them is anatomically furthest up their own arse.

iainmartinwsj: That Osborne shirt today is an absolute stinker. One of his spads needs to take charge of Chancellors wardrobe, and get him a haircut

Jolly Roger: Stella Creasy? I prefer Atella Artois

Tuscan Tony: Stella can have a pint of mine.

Dick Scratcher: Blackpool...full of slags. (Not complaining)

Dick Scratcher: Does she live under a bridge?