Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Millionaire Union Bosses Edition

Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.  The general consensus was that it was a little boring this week and obviously misses characters such as the brooding, stammering pension wrecker as Cameron's foil.  Cameron was on top form today despite the personal grief he must have endured by the loss of his father.  A good banter between Harman and himself and incidentally, this was Harman's last appearance so no more Ms WhineyVoice.

Carlos is still MIA, Harman wasn't wearing her Giraffe Suite but as Billy Blofeld said: "Harman didn't go for the Meat Dress then....." unlike Lady GaGaDick Scratcher gave the very important Hain Pantone Reference: 816F (Comanche Vanity) but Guido suggested that this might equally apply to the very orange Rosie Winterton. 

Obviously "staycations" don't apply to our political elite.

Dorian Smith likened Bercow's tie to the Czech TV test card while Tiewatcher loathes David Blunkett but thinks his tie is actually rather good.

The LiveChat was bereft of Labour "Haw Haws" spinning the propaganda although Kevin Maguire tweeted his best suggesting that Mervyn King told the TUC in 2008 that there wouldn't be a recession.  Come on Toilets, you can do better than that.

The rumours of the brooding McRuin making an appearance did not bear fruit sadly but Old Holborn was suggesting that he might release a tiger into the House which would have been entertaining, as well as his statement that "I have a sponsor who will pay £10 to everyone who turns up at the Popes gigs in a full gimp costume ".

So the best line of the week?  A close run thing with John Ward's great effort of ""I'm so Priti, oh so Priti..." on the first appearance of Tory MP Priti Patel, Chunk's "that woman has like two Nick Soames strapped to her mid-section" in reference to the rotund Rosie Cooper and Tuscan Tony's "Lloyd looks like he hit a wall naked at 40mph" when MP Stephen Lloyd stood up.

The winner goes to Sue Perrin-Junsham with this line after Guido's poll of Labour leaders:

"I'm voting for Steve Miliband - Abracadabra"

Here's the rest of the highlights- enjoy!

Dick Scratcher: Let's see if Laura K's over her PMT

Old Holborn: I love the way Abbott is calling for white men to be sacked from the civil service. She's be lucky to find one

Dorian Smith: Did Gordon get a note from his mum to take even more time off to teach at Harvard?

Should Be Working: Ah, Harriet - tea two sugars please luv!

Billy Blofeld: Peter Hain is wearing a dress again this week.

John Ward: Anne Beggs has just motored into the Chamber...

Dorian Smith: HH necklace from Swindon's Sue Ryder shop

Tuscan Tony: At least it isn't a pearl one Dorian.

Hugh Jend: my mate (hugh jardon) MAY have given Katy D a pearl necklace..anyone want to here more about it??

John Ward: Yes, the beads are probably more worried than Hattie...

JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: George Michael says hi from Pentonville....

Another Engineer: Harman most popular! Is Gordon in the house?

Roger Thornhill: Going nowhere and Harman? You surprise me.

Dick Scratcher: Border Police in blue leather, accessorized with black nightsticks

Dick Scratcher: Harperson wants a good grilling. Gas mark 4.

JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: brazier more like damp firelighter

the last quango in paris: 7 votes for those muppets

Tuscan Tony: CHief cause of poverty is watching Jeremy Kyle.

Old Holborn: Abbott to win would be fantastic. Mugabes widow herself

Dick the Prick: Mugabe's got better standards

Tuscan Tony: The dream team for Labour leadership would be Abbott and Prescott.

Old Holborn: I have a sponsor who will pay £10 to everyone who turns up at the Popes gigs in a full gimp costume

Carol Vorderman: I love Balls!

JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: liverpool all the wheeliebins are on bricks

JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: pope on a rope ..... doofa on a loofah

Hugh Jend: will the pope treat us to a rendition of "two little boys"?

Tuscan Tony: The 3 munters.

Old Holborn: She knitted that herself

Unsworth: OH - not knitted, nailed together

John Ward: "I'm so Priti, oh so Priti..."

John Ward: Another Vaz!

Billy Blofeld: She isn't oily enough to be a real Vaz

Ghost of Greg Stone: Put the Vaz's next to each other with artificial colouring= Vaz e line

Old Holborn: Release a live tiger into the House

Secret Lemondade Drinker: Look at those highlights. Bloody hell. Labour are falling apart.

Guido Fawkes: I m m m mmiss m m m m m mr rrr Speaker from Jonah

Dorian Smith: Luckily we have widescreen tv for Rosie

Unsworth: Christ! A blue Marquee

Tuscan Tony: Taxibus for Rosie!

Beware of Geeks: "That's no moon, it's a space station"

Chunk: That woman has like two Nick Soames strapped to her mid-section

Tuscan Tony: Vernon Coaker = Dusty Bin

Dick Scratcher: Ainsworth doing his pools coupon

Dorian Smith: Balls auditions for CHurchill nodding dog campaign

Chunk: Lloyd looks like a Jim Henson creation.

Billy Blofeld: Someone needs to buy him a jaw

Tuscan Tony: Lloyd looks like he hit a wall naked at 40mph

Beware of Geeks: Now I know what happened to Kermit

Sue Perrin-Junsham: I'm voting for Steve Miliband - Abracadabra

Secret Lemondade Drinker: Andrew Mitchell is now chatting up Caroline Spelman. Dirrrrty.

John Ward: Harlow and goodbye!

Tuscan Tony: Prescott is working the tables in 1st Class, Ghost.

Old Holborn: what a heap of otter w**k

Friday, 10 September 2010

MPs to get advice from Harold Shipman in running old people's homes

I mean seriously, WTF?

Hopefully this is just Daily Wail bollocks

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Tracey Emin

Body from Baywatch.

Face from Crimewatch.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Danger! Danger! Internet about to get the Curse of Jonah!

Looks like McRuin will be joining Tim Berners-Lee on the board of the World Wide Web Foundation to take on the role of advising on ways to bring affordable internet connectivity to disadvantaged regions such as Africa.  Well, that's one project completely wrecked by the Curse of Jonah before it even gets started.

I think Alex Deane from Big Brother Watch has it about right:

"Wanting to help Africans get online is laudable. But given the enormous intrusions into privacy and freedom over which Gordon Brown presided whilst Prime Minister, he’s about the worst person to “help” new internet users. Less “education for all” – more “snooping for those who can’t escape it”
Quite.  How a brooding, bullying, miserable, bunker-dwelling, pension-wrecking, cowardly socialist with a total and utter contempt for liberty thinks he might be the right person to help bring the freedom of the internet to Africa, is quite clearly delusional to the extreme.