Wednesday, 12 May 2010

A cracking retort to a liebour troll

h/t Speccie (Nicholas)

Richard the Dork - the only poster whose comments suggested an unpleasant combination of sweating and writhing was you.

Your copious and seemingly never ending posts in the run up to the election revealed with crystal clarity your narrow minded bias, your sweeping stereotypic dismissal of alternative political viewpoints and your swallowing, hook line and sinker, of the propaganda being generated by an unpleasant and unelected trio of New Labour spinners. It already sounded passé, the chip-shouldered blathering of one of last century's soviet surrogates, a rather empty head filled with preconceptive sloganism, socialist mythology and resentment rather than any objectivity, maturity or the fruits of any meaningful life experience. But following the final purging of Scotch Marxism from Westminster it sounds positively archaic - and trite. A sad and grubby celebration of the negative, the literary (and not very literate) equivalent of sour grapes, rooted in the Marxist last gasp of 1997 and the awakening disbelief that your Party's spinning and lies were no longer to be believed. May I suggest that you accompany your sour grapes with a generous helping of hard cheese and a bottle of the finest Conservative schadenfreude, vintage 2010 (infinitely more palatable than Blue Nun) courtesy of yours truly.

Fortunately, cooler and more objective Labour heads prevailed. Your heckling, abusive and oh so tired kind of politics is perhaps best expressed by going to join the scruffy crowds of yoof Labour activists chanting "Tory scum" on the streets of London. I understand Fatbloke is there waiting for you with a two-man soviet-style banner to support. The pair of you will then be able to rival Laurel and Hardy in a heady mix of archaic political dogma and slapstick comedy.

Di-dum, di-dum, di-dum, di-dum, di-diddlee-dee .


  1. The only possible fault I can find in this masterpiece is , it should be Scots not Scotch which of course is the drink!
    Lovely style and put down, did the troll stick its head over the parapet again?

  2. "Scotch" was meant!
    It annoys the woad painted jocks!

  3. Generalfeldmarschall12 May 2010 at 20:24

    It's only since about 1920 that any distinction has been made between between "Scotch", "Scots" & "Scottish". Remember that through most of the 19th Century Scotland was referred to as "North Britain", and that all the tartan, plaid, pipe "music", &c. was invented during that century.
    And I haven't even started on the fables of "Braveheart" & Bonnie Prince Charlie.

  4. Generalfeldmarschall12 May 2010 at 20:26

    That should totally piss off our woad-painted North Celtic subsidy-junkies.

  5. I once ran a home for elderly Scots in America and they referred to each other as Scotch. Most of them came to America in the 1920's.

  6. Generalfeldmarschall said...

    Remember that through most of the 19th Century Scotland was referred to as "North Britain", and that all the tartan, plaid, pipe "music", &c. was invented during that century.

    Pipes, and pipe music have been know all over the Keltic world for hundreds if not THOUSANDS of years. (Ullean, Northumbrian,Basque, etc, pipes).

    If tartan and Plaid was "invented" in the 19th century, why was it banned after Culloden, which, as the rest of your Scottish history appears to be so bad, you MAY need reminding was slightly BEFORE the 19th century.

    What WAS invented was the modern kilt, and the assignation of tartans to particular Clans.

  7. Is there an online rant hall of fame?! There should be... that one just about sums up everything after 13 years of "aaaaaaarrrrggghh!".
    There should be a global redirect to every splenetic "speke yor branez" type news site full of spasming lefties berating the apostate electorate.