Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Missed all the banter on Guido's Live PMQs? Can't be arsed to trawl through pages of the windowlicking scribblings of the demented? Want to see the highlights in one easy to digest posting?


Well, welcome to the weekly Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Gordon Ducks Again version



What's for lunch, Carlos?

Carlos: Not so sure, BoG. Pondering a pizza, but as yet nothing has prompted me...
.243 Win: Carlos : Steak baguette.
Carlos: Very good! But I want some Bollinger now!



Hain Pantone Watch

MIA



Theresa May Astronaut Watch

Beware of Geeks: Theresa May wearing the astronaut suit again
Old Holborn: ground control to major tom
The IMF is coming: Theresa going diving
startledcod: Who has nicked Theresa May's space helmet?
Beware of Geeks: Theresa can borrow my helmet
Roger Thornhill: Geeks - who says you would get it back?
Beware of Geeks: Roger - I've scraped too many barrels to care! :)



Penguins and Dog Watch


Armchair Fred: Can she work Ashcroft into tthe dogs debate?
Carlos: Dogs can't look up. Or is that penguins.
.243 Win: Carlos : Never seen a dog look up a penguin.
John Ward: I like that idea, a penguin would be nice, but would need a box in front of the Despatch Box to be visible.
John Ward: An emperor penguin would be better than Fuhrer Brown...
Carlos: John, a Gentoo Penguin turd woudl be better than Brown.
Grapefruit bowls: Penguins knock their friends into the water to check for seals



Odd Comment of the Week



Grapefruit bowls: Once bitten by a snake, a dog will fear sausages.



Highlights


Billy Blofeld: Wimmin's manufacturing is up......... that Rabbit Dildo factory has been going like the clappers

Carlos: Scrolling banner should read "Gordon Brown is a coward and is hiding under his desk"
Ollie Cromwell: I have a feeling he is about to whoop the rear of the year
Harpic Watch: Beast of Bolsover has same jacket on for 20 years
Guido Fawkes: well done Harman, got Hague's job right this time
Ghost of Greg Stone: Get your choppers out
Labour bankrupted the UK: Gordon Brown's brains has already been disolved a long time ago.
Carlos: Please can I punch Ainsworth now?
Should_Be_Working: Harriet doesn't understand bonds, currency and stuff - she's a bird
Old Holborn: @sally_bercow, fuck off you clapped out spunkbucket
Nick2: INTEGRITY? HARMAN? Frank Field described her as a fucking liar to her face!
Should_Be_Working: "Mislead" - shouldn't that be Ms Led from a proud feminist like Harperson?
John Ward: Anagram of Jack Dromey-Harman is "Ah, my Joker card man"
Jack Dromey: Fookin go girl. That's my misses, that is
Ollie Cromwell: Brown paper envelopes being passed around
Harpic Watch: Hague nicked one from Guido about Brown weakness
Sally Bercow: Who fancies a quick fuck?
Beware of Geeks: @ Sally Bercow - is there a queue as before?
Sally Bercow: No queue. get it while it's hot
Yiddo from the Lane: "Harriet Harman is Nicola Murray" - funniest comment so far IMO
Spank Sinatra: Put a bag on her head someone please..
Old Holborn: she cut her hair with a knife and fork
Roger Thornhill: Harriet Harman would fail the Turing Test
JULIAN BRAY NAE NOKIA!: UGLY FACE OF SECRETS
Carlos: Turing = Genius. Harman = Failure.
Roger Thornhill: The only Tax I want to see are the ones nailed into Harman's eyes
Carlos: Bradshaw nodding about marriage? Hmmmm.
Spank Sinatra: More irritable vowel syndrome
.243 Win: Fuck, run, IT's the Mekon.
Old Holborn: did he get dressed in the dark?
WoaR: Jacqui Dromey is being gender re-assigned to comply with the shortlist.
Geordie Girl: Bradshaw looks like a grinning deaths head.
Spank Sinatra: Straw has got his usual pube stuck down his throat I see
Harpic Watch: Feckin Flopsy Bradshaw - what a cnut!
The IMF is coming: Someone lost their curtains?
John Ward: Wearing upholstery now on the Labour backbenches!
Beware of Geeks: It was an Ashcroft plant strategy that went horribly, and more importantly, visibly wrong 
Bill Quango MP: And apologise for that gawd awful face

Dick the Prick: Mr Spunker
Dick the Prick: Ben Bradshaw not gonna be able to spunk for weeks he's creamed so much
JULIAN BRAY NAE NOKIA!: dromey derry kamel shite
Liz: Oh bless. She has a hanky up her sleeve, like my grandma.
Roger Thornhill: National Institute for Continuing Excrement
A Firm Pair Of Breasts: Bust!

+++ Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights - Coming Soon +++

More exciting highlights to follow this afternoon...

The Macavity of the PMQs

Once again Macavity is disappearing from PMQs to let the Harridan screech her badly delivered notes given to her by some Liebour orc on Wednesday.  Macavity's excuse is that he will have to join the Queen in welcoming South African Jacob Zuma's arrival in London for talks on Thursday.  So that's talks on Thursday and not Wednesday.  And no doubt, the flight will land just before PMQs starts.  Of course.

Digging a little deeper, I wondered just how many PMQs Macavity has missed during his short reign since 27 June 2007.  Using this and this I have calculated the following:

Prime Minister	Years in office	Total PMQs	# missed	% missed
Major	7	398	47	11.8
Brown	3	86	9	10.5
Thatcher	11	752	58	7.7
Blair	10	343	17	5.0

So currently at number two in the Macavity stakes with only a few months left. 

Can he become the all time disappearing Macavity?  The Prime Minister that just seems to have "other important business" to attend to when the political stakes get a bit heated?

Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Missed all the banter on Guido's Live PMQs?  Can't be arsed to trawl through pages of the windowlicking scribblings of the demented?  Want to see the highlights in one easy to digest posting?

Well, welcome to the weekly Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

A Fistful of Nokias version


What's for lunch, Carlos?

Dick Scratcher: Carlos, what’s for lunch? Bully Beef & Chips?

Carlos: Not sure about lunch, but open to suggestions!


Carlos: OK, now I'm hungry.

Hain Pantone Watch

Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 1505 - Tangerine (He is now the Official Blackpool FC mascot)

Theresa May Astronaut Watch

The IMF is coming: No diving suit today


Steve Expat: Theresa May not looking like a spacewoman today!

Cameron Hair Watch

JULIAN BRAY (NOKIAPROOF): nEW HAIR COLOUR FOR cAMERON ANYONE NOTICED?


Tuscan Tony: I did Julian - looks like he's been running around underneath parked cars.

NotaSheep: Does look a little darker, maybe he and Prince William have the same barber?

Wild Yvette Watch

Beware of Geeks: Holy shit! Did you see that look on Yvette?? Rabbit in headlights!


Spank Sinatra: Cooper is on mogadon too

Airey Belvoir: Yvette wind-tunnel hair, mad stare

Claw Watch

Ghost of Greg Stone: the claw!

 
Pun of the Week 

Dick Scratcher: "Jew conduct" ?

 
 Alky Aida Watch 
 

 .243 Win: Alky aida. Yee Harr...

John Ward: Ah, "Alky Ada" again!

PSB Custard: Alky- Ada. Hurrah!

dAMIAN mCbRIDE: Alky ada...is that whore on benefits?

Rog: Alchy Ada doing the rounds again!

barniebear: 2 pints of Alki Ada

Highlights

Steve Expat: Khan looked like he was about to throw a Nokia at Neil!!


Ghost of Greg Stone: Every got their crash helmets ready for PMQs

Steve Expat: Nick Robinson: Gus O'Donnell says he never spoke to the PM about bullying, did speak to him about 'how to get hte best of his staff'!!

Beware of Geeks: And for the benefit of our Labour monitors: practise the following phrase everymorning until the 6th May "would you like fries with your bullying?"

.243 Win: Why are Harpic's anal beads around her neck ?

Kingbingo: They managed to use the make-up to cover Darlings bruises pretty well

Steve Expat: Kerry's looking ugly today

Tuscan Tony: members of my personal staff who have had eyes blacked since we last met.

Beware of Geeks: Holby - you got a boner yet from seeing Kerry?

Hugh jend: fuck me..it's hong kong fooey!

Beware of Geeks: Red Alert! Nokia shields full frontal

Old holborn: MRSA is in our DNA

Spank Sinatra: May has some anal beads too I see

obangobang: Labour - A Fucked Future for All

Ghost of Greg Stone: Yeah Gordon playing sotto voce today

Billy Blofeld: The all new emotional Gordon Brown........

Roger Thornhill: Lurch is back on Labour Front bench

the shade of dr kelly: when did you stop beating your staff?

Pontius The Pilot: Burnham looks worried. So the fucker should.

Dick Scratcher: It's not Darling, it's an android

Billy Blofeld: Does Gordon not know that Badger baiting is illegal?

Tuscan Tony: Ask Gordy if he's seen the HK bully package?

Ghost of Greg Stone: Managers fail - Broon has failed

Be Gone Gordon: looks like Gordoom is suffering from Jizz in the eye - Mandy's aim must be off

Tuscan Tony: Nice pearl necklace on Harriet - who did that I wonder?

WoaR: And I'm sending Alistair to Stafford to have his hernia done.

Billy Blofeld: He looked thinner in his Taiwanese CGi video........

Dick the Prick: Geez, wouldn't kiss that cunt if my life depended on it

New Labour bankrupted UK: Stop jabbering the lectern you mental man

Beware of Geeks: Nokias - lock and load

JULIAN BRAY (NOKIAPROOF): EL CUNKO FISTICO BROON

Tuscan Tony: Compasstastic

Dick Scratcher: Bleugh…think I just saw Harpic’s VW bonnet when she crossed her legs....jesus

.243 Win: Cover ! Incoming tractor stats.

Hugh jend: mrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrm cunt!

Dick Scratcher: Blackman must have eyes in the top of her head

John Ward: Yes, Dick: the lady has 20-20-20-20 vision :-)

Old holborn: 94.1%. Fuck off, you twatmunching turdburglar

Dick Scratcher: Alan Johnson has eyes like fried eggs

Old holborn: Alan Johnson. Old Oyster Eyes

John Ward: Is that a statue of Burnham? He hasn't moved since the start of PMQs.

John Ward: Tax Credits are a way to force people to beg for their own money back, and to add to Gordon's stats.

Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes Lickenstein

Dick Scratcher: Mandy wants Chorus to tap his salamander

The Unknown Streetcleaner: We'll take money from anyone - God knows we need it

Cold Steel Rain: Taliban are perfecting Road Side Nokias

50 Calibre: Children now taken out of poverty exceeds population of Great Britain... again. Clever!

Roger Thornhill: That Madrass I had the other day had an evil influence on my ringpiece...

The Unknown Streetcleaner: more plants than epping forest

Beware of Geeks: "I can assure him, where there are questions....I am the furthest from answering them"

Steve Expat: nokias doing their pre-flight checks!

Steve Expat: that dispatch box has had more banging than a dockside whore today

Beware of Geeks: Does Mr Tata do raw steaks do you think?

smig: Tower control. This is nokia one heavy. Permission to taxi to runway four niner delta.

.243 Win: @Geeks : From the back, Baywatch, from the front : Crimewatch.

Ollie Cromwell: LOL "I have personally spoken to Mr Tata" and Mr Cabbage, Mr Carrot and Mrs Leek.

Dick Scratcher: Priorities = gardening you tosser

John Ward: Oh, Pound! He needs to be devalued - out of the Commons!

Old holborn: So many plants, it looks like Kew Gardens

 

Show off your shoulders - yeah, right!

Guido's PMQs Live - Highlights

Thanks to Guido we can now rant and rave at the gurning politicos during the farce that is know as "Opposition Leader's Questions" and watch the Prime Monster do his level best to avoid answering any questions whatsoever, while trying to tell his pre-written, anti-Tory jokes with the panache and hypocrisy of Marcus Brigstocke.

Unfortunately, the stream of consciousness that pours down the LiveChat screen is often missed, so Beware of Geeks is going to make this a regular weekly highlight to record and list the funniest comments.

What's For Lunch Carlos?

First of all, what is Carlos going to have for lunch?

dr bombastic: "have a fish taco carlos"

Then some fine comments from my fellow window lickers:-

BristolDave: He is addressing the policy issue, you dribbling mong, but it's YOUR policy he's addressing, not his. What's wrong with that?


Tuscan Tony: Tax on the Fyfe Fyffes!


Old Holborn: I'm going to send Brown a dead cat

Old Holborn: I can smell Kerrys growler

obangobang: Brown wants you to pay for his collapse into dementia - will we notice the difference?

Dorian Smith: no doubt this is a sterling performance from the nokia thrower according to toenails

Dale: Nick Clegg - when are you going to answer my letters and get Sheffield shitty council to resurface my street? It is still cobbled for fucks sake

Ghost of Greg Stone: 800 meeja wallahs against 100,000 troops not going to be much of a raise

BristolDave: Frankie Boyle was right, Gordon Brown just looks like someone's drawn a sad face on a scrotum

Spank Sinatra: We need you like veneral disease

John Ward: Ah, is he worried that the Pendle-um might swing?

Dick Scratcher: If Lemsip Opik & Carswell had a child together, I guess it would have a straight face. Right?

Dick Scratcher: Emily Maitlis latest: “ I'm now so old my pussy is haunted, but I AM sexier than Kirsty Wark.” Next week on Newsnight, Martha Kearney in a basque & suspenders and Gavin Esler in a gimp mask.

JULIAN BRAY - Go bRO nOW: kRAFT DAIRY7 MILK NOT OF HUMAN KINDNESS

Repeated throughout the LiveChat:

Dick Scratcher: Terry Pratchett : Just in case you haven’t heard, I have Alzheimer's.

Continuing:

Dick Scratcher: Broon should have to wear a stripy top, eye mask & black beanie when he does PMQs, and have a flute and double bass playing in the background.

Old Holborn: Le Port d'Douvre

Then John Redwood appeared:

Spank Sinatra: Set phasers to stun

Beware of Geeks: mind meld

ShoutsAtTheTV:star trek music

More:

John Ward: He's Mullin it over as he (slowly) speaks. (re: Chris Mullins)


Dick Scratcher: Alan Johnson superglued again

Labour Bankrupted the UK: I support the crash of the Euro, in fact, I'm betting on it :)

The Tobin tax was mentioned:

Dick Scratcher: How about a Dobbin tax for men with big cocks. I'd be bankrupt though. Forget it.

Tuscan Tony: Turnip tax on Labour voters!

Hopefully more next week!  Let me know if I missed your blog out, or funny comment.

Sobbing for Socialism

It's true!  The faux outpouring of insincere sobbing as a last desperate attempt to win over the electorate has an interesting effect on the onion market - India hikes onion export prices!

Yes, everyone, invoke tears of imaginary remorse at the drop of a hat, or election poll, with your handy to carry onion.  Can be used in any studio appearance or when Marr asks you an embarrassing question on just how much lying you did to the nation to justify a pointless war.

Mandatory uber ignorance

I came across this article and at first I thought it seemed a sensible idea: making cigarettes self-extinguish with the view to reducing deaths through domestic fires.


From the governments own figures it seems that dwelling fire deaths have reduced from 731 in 1988 to 190 in 2007. This has been mainly due to fire-retardant furniture and smoke alarms which now appear in 80% of the homes.

RoSPA (The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents) indicates that due to the recession, there is a sharp rise in fire deaths as a result of “smoker’s materials” in Scotland, with alcohol being a contributory factor.

An interesting observation suggesting the Law of Unintended Consequences is alive and well:

“Ahead of the introduction of the smoking ban in 2006, some concerns were raised about the potential for an increase in fire deaths. We do not know whether the ban was directly linked to the rise in deaths, but it, together with the economic situation and efforts to tackle binge drinking, could mean people are now more inclined to stay at home to drink"

I did a quick bit of research into these reduced ignition propensity (RIP) cigarettes and was expecting the introduction or a fire-retardant chemical in there, but instead, it is a simple mechanism whereby ultra-thin concentric bands or 'speed bumps' are introduced in the cigarette paper in order to restrict oxygen access to the burning end of the cigarette.

Now, overall the campaigning, the government adverts, the smoke detectors, the fire regulations, lobbying have all come together to reduce deaths which is a good thing and I’m not going to comment or criticise this directly in any way.

What I am curious about is the overlap between educating people, manufacturing of safety devices and enforcement of legislation. The example above has a mixture of all three entities. So what is better: a pincer movement from all three, more education than legislation or more legislation than education?

To my more libertarian mindset, I would prefer to see more education than legislation, but would more legislation would be more efficient, quicker and possibly cheaper than education? Could we eventually achieve the same results with education alone? Maybe, eventually and probably helped by safety devices but would there be more deaths in the process?

Would safety devices absolve the individual from thinking about their own actions in the future, creating a sense of false expectation in their everyday lives?

For me, this symbolises in a small way, the struggle of Libertarianism versus Authoritarianism we see in so many aspects of our lives. Some see legislation as unnecessarily authoritative. Some see legislation as a social panacea to curing all our ills. We know from experience one exclusively over the other usually provides an unsatisfactory outcome.

Perhaps a perpetual balance of all three is simply the way things are as it reflects the myriad ways that human beings think and carry out their lives in the way that they feel fit.

What do you, dear reader, think?

Separated at birth?

Diane Abbott's arse              A Ferengi          

Plod suspect terrorists armed with "spangly blue hairdryers" as threat to public

Kids TV presenters Anna Williamson and Jamie Rickers from ITV1's hit show Toonattik, were filming a skit for the programme on London's South Bank wearing combat gear and armed with children's walkie-talkies and hairdryers.

"Jamie and I were kitted out in fake utility belts, we had the whole bulletproof flakjacket thing, we've got hairdryers in our belt, a kids' £1.99 walkie-talkie, hairbrushes and all that kind of stuff, and we were being followed by a camera crew and a boom mike and we get literally pulled over by four policemen and we were issued with a warning 'under the act of terrorism'."

Rickers, 32, added: "We were stopped, not arrested, but they had to say 'we are holding you under the Anti-Terrorism Act because you're running around in flak jackets and a utility belt', and I said 'and please put spangly blue hairdryer' and he was, like, 'all right'."

So that would be the South Bank that is in front of the large ITV studio complex then?  Nice to know the police have got a good sitrep on the area they are patrolling.



h/t Yahoo News

Photographers demo today

Just been reading the great LegIron and he brings up the point that Al Johnson has just increased the nation's security alert level to DEFCON 1 saying:

“I should stress that there is no intelligence to suggest than an attack is imminent"

Well, that'll be the photographers then.  Coincidence?  Possibly, but I never trust this government one inch after the catalogue of catastrophes they have created under their incompetent watch.

I'll leave it up to Sergeant Phil Esterhaus to say:

Hey, let's be careful out there

Make your own Conservative poster

h/t Leg-Iron

Power Cuts like it's 1979

Fucking Labour - on the UPS, last bar of power and I have a deadline for the USA.

Cnuts.

Pat Condell says "Thank god for Andy Choudary"

But with his usual twist on the situation.

Youtube

I've found the 30% who vote Labour!

A thick, deluded, partisan, ignorant, non-thinking idiot standing next to a Labour activist

Ever wondered why Labour still hold 30% of the voting slice?  I did.  And now I know why and where.

Some old crone on LBC this morning rabbled on and on and said the most ridiculous, partisan claptrap and refused to be corrected.  She said:

• Tony Blair inherited a country that had a terrible debt in 1997
• The Thatcher government was more corrupt than this Labour governement
• We had 3 million unemployed in 1997
• Gordon Brown had reduced this debt and had given more workers jobs
• The hospitals are better and the schools are better
• Interest rates were apparently 16% in 1997 when Tony Blair took over
• We had three day weeks under Thatcher

The worse thing about the conversation, is that despite the evidence proffered by James Max, she refused to believe it, like an eco-scientist receiving a collection of Hadley CRU emails.

This, dear reader, is where your labour voting slice comes from.  Thick, ignorant, partisan individuals who refused to open their eyes and think for themselves.

We live in a country where people unquestionably believe what they are told.

Prescott Impersonators destroy house

A floor collapsed beneath a group of about 20 members of Weight Watchers as they gathered to compare how many pounds they had shed over Christmas.

Obviously they all suffer from "glandular" problems and absolutely nothing to do with the ingestion of 300 KFC bargain buckets and a wheelbarrow full of cakes a day.

Fat greedy fuckers.

Times Online

Andrew Neil feeling Brave

h/t Swiss Bob

Norm's blogging, and he's quite good

Lord Tebbit is blogging on the Telegraph and now has written his second post.  It's is very well written and has some good humour in it.  My favourite line:

It seems to me that our masters these days are willing to use a carrot and stick approach, but they almost always use the stick on the poor old donkey’s nose and inflict a terrible indignity on the beast with the carrot at its other end.

Norman Tebbit's blog

Jabba Brown and Salacious Balls

Ed Balls is Gordon Brown's Salacious Crumb

Songs from inside my helmet

h/t Keith Law

In the cold, bleak winter, won't someone remember the windmills?

Remember those windmills that will protect us from the peak oil theory and help remove all those nasty CO2 emitting power stations that are killing our cheeeldren?

Well, what do you notice about winter weather when it's particularly cold?  Yes, that's right: there's no wind and a still breeze an unproductive windmill makes.

From A Problem With Wind, this particularly damning observation often overlooked by those blinded by simplistic green rhetoric is the final twist of the knife into the folly that is wind technology when managing a country's energy demand:

Denmark (population 5.3 million) has over 6,000 turbines that produced electricity equal to 19% of what the country used in 2002.

Yet no conventional power plant has been shut down.

Because of the intermittency and variability of the wind, conventional power plants must be kept running at full capacity to meet the actual demand for electricity. Most cannot simply be turned on and off as the wind dies and rises, and the quick ramping up and down of those that can be would actually increase their output of pollution and carbon dioxide (the primary "greenhouse" gas).

So when the wind is blowing just right for the turbines, the power they generate is usually a surplus and sold to other countries at an extremely discounted price, or the turbines are simply shut off.

So, whenever any eco-nazi starts going on about how windmills will save the cheeeldren, remind them of the above.

If you have time, read the information at the link - there are summaries but for the more technically minded, there are some good pieces about energy management and the distruptions caused by windmill trials, especially in Germany for instance.

The BBC at its biased best

It looks like Nick Robinson's blog is going into overdrive as he once again desperately tries to make up for the slow start to the failed coup attempt on Gordon Brown.  Guido and Tory Bear were reporting the news after midday.

The BBC have been piling on the toadying to Not-quite-so-new Labour, completely removing all but the mere hint of a whisper of the Tories from the front pages.

It was rumours abound as Peter "will he, or won't he arrive at Newsnight" Mandelson finally buckled under pressure from Mr Dale to cast his spell over Gordon's inevitable descent into oblivion.

David Vance of Biased BBC fame has report the "sheer pro-Labour entertainment value" of James Naughtie's Today program, where once again the BBC are giving a platform for Labour MPs to get their daily message out unhindered and unchallenged, liberally sprinkled with the usual "nasty Tories" rhetoric.

And of course, best leave it up to the ineffable Pie Muncher Puncher to summarise the situation with his erudite demeanour delivered using a syntax that has upset many a Babelfish:

Depressing rates by bringing in cheaper foreigners

From the Times Online:

Tens of thousands of foreign IT workers are being sent to work for their companies’ subsidiaries in Britain, sparking fears that British workers are being denied job opportunities.

Almost 30,000 non-EU technology workers entered the country under so-called intra-company transfers last year, with the overwhelming majority coming from India.

Most of those arriving came for low and mid-level IT jobs where there are not significant skills shortages among British-born workers, fuelling suspicion that British workers are losing out to foreign workers who are being paid lower wages.

This has been going on for years and is quite prevalent in the IT industry. It affects mainly the contract and temp staff whose value to a company is for a temporary resource to help with varying short term workloads or to provide expertise that the company does not have currently.

The reason why companies do not employ new permanent members of staff (perms) under these conditions is that often the costs of permanent employment is much more than the contract staff when you take into account of pensions, health, training, sickness cover, paid holidays and other hidden intangible costs.

Which is why sometimes perms look at the contractor’s hourly rate and think they contractors are overpaid. What perms fail to understand is that out of this hourly rate they have to pay employers NI, employees NI, business costs, often IR35 and S660 applies, indemnity insurances, executive pensions, training costs and membership fees and of course, make cover costs of being out of work and ill. The costs incurred by the perms are normally paid for by perm’s parent company and are part of its operating costs.

Funnily enough, as they are only paid for turning up to work, contractors aren’t often as sick as perms! :)

A rule of thumb to compare equivalent salaries and rates is to take the hourly rate (say £30/hour) and times it by £1,000 to get the equivalent permanent salary of £30,000.

So there is an attraction to keep contractors on for cost purposes and sometimes political: I know of one major company that prefers to employ contractors rather than perms because the headcount numbers are smaller.

Back to the main topic: it is impossible for morons like Phil Woolas to say that we’re protecting British jobs and we have checks in place to stop abusing this system, because companies have been abusing this system for years, importing cheap labour from abroad and depressing contractor rates.

One way companies do this is to advertise a job way, way below market value so no-one applies for it. They can then say “we advertised this job, no one took it, it must be a skill’s shortage” and then bring in Cap Gemini or someone who supply the cheap labour through the ICT system.

Another way I have had personal experience with is that a company finishes a project, sacks a load of perms saying times are tough, creates a subsidiary company in India, starts up another project, and brings over cheap labour internally.

As I said, no-one cared about the IT industry – it was full of boring geeks. However, now this practise occurs in many other industries, such as Finance, Oil & Gas, Medical and all of a sudden people are starting to wake up.

I left contracting behind many years ago and now work B2B with my own company, but government and EU are still destroying a very important part of our wealth producing economy and I hope to see this Labour government, who instigated most of the above, being completely wiped out in May.

Wootton Basset - should Islam4UK be allowed to protest?

Photo h/t Marc Vallée

Because I believe in the concept of Freedom of Speech, however distasteful I find the raison d'être of Islam4UK, it should go ahead. The town Wootton Bassett where the bodies of fallen servicemen and women pass through has obviously been chosen for maximum inflammatory effect and is simply anathema to any person with a sense of honour.

If the police allow the protest to go ahead, I would imagine some trouble would inevitably occur and the MSM will be sensationalising what it can to sell as many papers as possible.

However, it prompted me to think about another scenario: what would the reaction of the country and the state be during the 1940’s if people marched in one of our cities protesting in support of National Socialism, the Occult replacing Christianity or telling the British government to get out of German occupied countries?

Would they accept large numbers of German countrymen into their homelands and allow them to march around and jeer pro-National Socialist views at our soldiers, or would they be arrested and in the case of British nationals, be tried for treason?

We are effectively at war with Iraq and Afghanistan. Are there sufficient differences today compared with the 1940s for us to turn a blind eye?  The caveat "we are at war against terrorism only" absolve the above actions?

Taekwondo monkeys!

h/t The Telegraph Online

Lo Wung taught the monkeys taekwondo so they could entertain crowds and make him rich, but the monkeys soon tired of their communist enslavement.  Suddenly, they were presented with an opportunity and quickly turned on their dictator:

"The primates turned the tables on their trainer when he slipped during a show, with one quick-thinking monkey flooring him with a kick to the head.  I saw one punch him in the eye - he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose. They were leaping and jumping all over the place. It was better than a Bruce Lee film."

But, the anti-communist uprising was soon thwarted.

"He was really furious, he made the monkeys kneel on the ground with their hands tied behind their backs to punish them and make them show remorse for their nasty attack."

Fantastic! Art imitating life.  Off to the monkey Gulag for you lot then.

Fuck you, Carter-Fuck

h/t Iain Dale's Blog

Update: Here on Wikileaks

Walt Darling's Inanimate PBR Fantasia Special

Well, I was going to comment on that load of fantasy tripe from the bungling Badger, but I'll leave it to a reader of the Spectator Coffee House to sum it up:

What does it really matter what he says? In any case, he's not aiming this crap at you, or anyone else capable of understanding it.

This fantasy land stuff is designed to impress most of the people who contributed to this morning's Radio 5 Live phone in.

Basically, the kind of people, who, by any right measure, are too thick to be allowed to vote, never mind understand left wing fiscal chicanery.

Quite.

 

 

Scandalous CRU Climategate AlGore-ithm exposed

h/t Cube Antics

As you can see, (potentially) valid temperature station readings were taken and skewed to fabricate the results the “scientists” at the CRU wanted to believe, not what actually occurred.

The suspect code here for software developers:

;
; Apply a VERY ARTIFICAL correction for decline!!
;
yrloc=[1400,findgen(19)*5.+1904]
valadj=[0.,0.,0.,0.,0.,-0.1,-0.25,-0.3,0.,-0.1,0.3,0.8,1.2,1.7,2.5,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6]*0.75   ; fudge factor
if n_elements(yrloc) ne n_elements(valadj) then message,'Oooops!'
 
yearlyadj=interpol(valadj,yrloc,timey)

Guido's Caption Contest

More "green" madness

Britain cuts down forests to keep ‘green’ power stations burning

The Times Online

Whether you believe in Allah, the Great Spaghetti Monster, powdered rhino horn being an aphrodisiac, Anthropomorphic Global Warming and other such nonsense, this has to be the biggest dose of green irony I've ever seen - worse than the windmill debacle.

Let me point out a few obvious things:-

1. Cutting down, processing and transporting the wood from Canada and South America by ship is burning how much fossil fuel?  Cutting requires fossil fuel and emits carbon dioxide.  Processing the wood requires fossil fuel and emits carbon.  Transporting requires fossil fuel and emits carbon.

2. Biomass fuelled power stations are typically less efficient than coal burning or fuel gas power stations.  Often, like the "green" windmills, they work in conjunction with fossil fuel burning power stations, so you won't completely eliminate the fossil fuel burning side of it.

3. The wood often has to be processed before burning (drying or converting into biomass pellets), costing more energy.

4. The irony of cutting down the very thing that naturally can convert carbon dioxide into oxygen.

5. This strikes me more of desperately addressing the imposed EU Landfill Directive by incinerating waste rather than dumping it in landfills.

6. What's wrong with coal? Plenty of it here.

7. The eco-nazis are wailing that it's a good thing because the trees will come from sustainable forests.  Fast growing trees can grow between 6-10ft a year.  Depending on demand, this could strip an enormous area very quickly while waiting for the trees to reach maturity.  And the fertilizers required for fast growth?  Replanting? Energy, energy, energy.


I get concerned that the arguments for AGW confused and blur the very distinct, cost effective and admirable pursuit of economies and conservation of fuel supplies.  This is simply an ill-thought out, contradictory, knee jerk to "greenism" and as such it is a perfect example of yet another doomed Liebour Party supported policy.

My Gordon and Mandy poster on Iain Dale's blog

Halloween Fancy Dress

Stuck for a scary Halloween costume?

Don a comedy beard and strap loads of fake dynamite to yourself under your coat and silently in the middle of the room, undo your coat and shout "Allah Akbar!" at the top of your voice.



Guaranteed screaming - you'll be the most scariest.
 
NB: keep the costume in a holdall and change outside the party... that could be a life-limiting costume on public transport!

Bohemian Bankruptcy

Brilliant! h/t iBall

What we suspected all along - it was deliberate

Telegraph

The huge increases in migrants over the last decade were partly due to a politically motivated attempt by ministers to radically change the country and "rub the Right's nose in diversity", according to Andrew Neather, a former adviser to Tony Blair, Jack Straw and David Blunkett.


He said Labour's relaxation of controls was a deliberate plan to "open up the UK to mass migration" but that ministers were nervous and reluctant to discuss such a move publicly for fear it would alienate its "core working class vote".

And so, there we have it - a deliberate attempt at social engineering.

There should be trial, not a public hearing about this.

Well, what a surprise...

Telegraph

The YouGov poll was taken hours after Mr Griffin’s appearance on Thursday, before which anti-fascist protesters rioted outside BBC Television Centre in London.


The survey found that 22 per cent of voters would “seriously consider” voting for the BNP in a future local, general or European election. This included four per cent who said they would “definitely” consider voting for the party, three per cent who would “probably” consider it, and 15 per cent who said they were “possible” BNP voters.

Considering they never touched the question of why so people were voting BNP and what was so wrong with Liebour's failed immigration policy, what do you expect?!?

They should have held Question Time in Burnley and addressed these issues, rather than turning it into a Jeremy Kylesque lynching by a multi-culti panel and selected London metropolitan audience.

Further censoring of the BNP

John Mann Labour MP - a man so stupid that he thinks by banning Nick Griffin from the House of Commons means that suddenly the issue of this nasty business about uncontrolled immigration in the UK will quietly go away.

On LBC this morning his argument was that stopping all MEPs from entering the HoC was, wait for it, "the right thing to do" as they shouldn't be allowed subsidised tea and biscuits and stops them blocking the corridors.

Of course, when it was suggested to him that he may be making Griffin a martyr, he proceeded to let the nice touchy feely mask slip and descended into the usual rant of it was disgusting that BNP this, and BNP that and he was proud of doing this waffle waffle rant rant etc

Then a listener summed it up nicely: all the MEPs from LibLabCon will be signed in by their UK party counterparts as is normal practise and vice versa in Europe, whereas Griffin won't be.

And John Mann, you mong, saying things like:

"This stops the BNP parading round here as if they're legitimate politicians."

just shows you are more interested in your little expenses fiddling gang than having an iota of intellect and understanding the true definition of freedom of speech. Do you think Griffin (whose party IS legitimate btw) is now going to look like the underdog on Question Time this evening and will garner even more support as is typical of this nation's normal reaction to anything underdog?

You should have addressed the nation's concern about immigration immediately and then perhaps the hordes of traditional working class Labour voter that YOU lost to the BNP will return.

You utter, utter twat.

I hope you lose your seat in May next year for the sake of our country.

This is what they're really thinking

From dizzy's blog:

This was Bill Etherington MP in an interview with David Grossman on BBC Newsnight.

Etherington: "We were told we were going to be judged on what the claim was under the regulations at the time. Now, Sir Thomas Legg has decided to change that retrospectively. Retrospective legislation has a very poor record and has caused us a lot of trouble. That denudes the whole process of its legitimacy.

Grossman: "You yourself have signed Commons EDMs calling for
retrospective taxes on City bonuses.."

Etherington: "I don't think I have actually. Can you be sure of this?

Grossman: "Yes, we checked before we came out.."

Etherington: "Retrospective taxes?"

Grossman: "On City bonuses and on Centrica profits and on energy company profits.."

Etherington: "Yes, but that was me putting pressure on the Government. You know what Early Day Motions are about. None of them are ever acted upon. They are declarations of intent."

Good grief!

Although dizzy points out the ineffectiveness of the EDM (which I believe was used to try and address the controversial tax IR35), I am more concerned about the complete lack of concern of saying the much accused, and denied by them, statement of "rules only apply to the little people, not to me".

This is exactly the type of outrageous entitlement and disconnect they have with the world outside the ivory tower. They are so ingrained in this type of thinking that they don’t even bother to lie or obfuscate their words in public now.

Rather like the BBC no longer bothering to pretend to be impartial.

They simply don't get it (still)

From the BBC (on an announcement that MPs, including Gordon, will have to pay back their ill-gotten expenses):

However one Labour MP, Sir Stuart Bell, expressed concerns about the process and whether MPs will be treated fairly.

Sir Stuart said MPs must be judged by the rules that applied at the time, despite the fact that they are now seen as widely discredited.

Look, Sir Stuart of Trough and Entitlement, what you and the other 645 troughers don't understand is that we put you in government to represent us, our best interests and the best interests for our country.

Nowhere in this remit does this give you permission to put your greed first before our country. If you had an ounce of integrity, you would have pointed out the expenses system was totally corrupt, unaccountable and amounted to systemic stealing from the public's hard earned cash.

An honourable man would have exposed this travesty without fail.

As a result of this cabal of secrecy and official deniability, we can only conclude that the 646 of you are simply, without honour.

There comes a time when every person working looks at the looters that are automatically by law and a sense of entitlement, given wealth and are allowed to circumvent the law for their own gain, and decides enough is enough. You may have tried to close down as many avenues of protest and action over the years with your totalitarian outlook on restricting our freedoms using the excuses of terrorism, but the one avenue you cannot close down is the growing swell of public resentment, that is divorced from party tribalism.

History has constantly shown us in times such as these, the results are unpleasant.

And bloody.

You have been warned.

Charlie Kennedy fail

Charles Kennedy's pre-speech photo opportunity went awry. "What are you in for?" he asked the hospital patient who just declared that he'd be voting for the Lib Dems. The painful reply was "brain surgery".

h/t Toenails

The infamous Charles Hardwidge

It seems that LabourList has resurrected that American blogging icon, Charles Hardwidge again. If you ever feel like a laugh and how it's possible that someone can be quite so utterly deluded in all aspects of life, please feel free to view the blog.

Under Dolly Draper, the website was the epitome of New Labour - an example of an ignorant chancer with delusions of grandeur, trying to pretend he was the real thing. To be fair to the new editor, Alex Smith, the site is much better than Draper's bastard web-child although the content is often obtuse, reeks of naive student politics and anti-Tory rhetoric.

Still, do a search for old Charley’s comments and be prepared for a treat. Most of them consist of the following, failsafe format:

1. Liberally scatter your post with management meta-speak
2. Make a completely unrelated quote on Taoism
3. Have another hate-fuelled dig at the Tories

He does come across as one of life’s losers in perpetuam: the chap that thinks he knows it all, uber-confidence over ignorance, poor interpersonal skills, failure to understand business, talks the talk but sadly in life with his attitude, has failed to accomplish anything at all, despite his worldly wisdom that he likes to pontificate frequently.

Sadly, it appears that after his fantastic impersonation on Guido’s site (whoever that was, hat’s off to you – had me convinced for a while!) he’s now a bit touchy about people reproducing his comments – such as LabourList’s new “Comment of the day” feature and has threatened to call his lawyers .

And just to torment the poor fellow some more, the site posters are now running a sweepstake on when he will return to the site for the upcoming election next year!

Quality gold.

Boris on top form on Newsnight

Boris struggles with the Tory on-message about the Lisbon Treaty but comes out with some cracking lines, even putting Paxo on the spot asking him what his salary is. Paxo clearly found it amusing.

Another great vintage Boris interview.

BBC iPlayer

(starts 16:23)

The quandary of the Lisbon Treaty

What I don't understand is this:

If the Lisbon Treaty is still being ratified by other countries (Poland and the Czech republic) at around the time of the May election, then the Conservatives will hold a referendum for the country. Fine, but that situation will not happen.

If Poland and the Czech republic vote for the Lisbon Treaty and the deal is sealed, the Conservatives say they will have to look at this again, although in principle, they would like a referendum.

Now, what would happen if Dave Cameron said:

If the Lisbon Treaty has been ratified, then there is no legal way or us to undo it. We're stuck with it thanks to Gordon "Courage" Brown. All we can do is try and bargain some sovereignty issues similar to what the Germans have done but that's about it. If we tried to undo the Lisbon Treaty it would mean our expulsion from the EU in its entirety i.e. we would not be able to trade with one of our biggest partners, forcing us turn to the USA for help.

Stormtroopers reflect on 9/11

Nice parody from the collegehumour site

Comment Is Fun

You just have to give it to Polly Toynbee and Jackie Ashley - their continual devotion to the ill-fated cause of Nu Liebour is exemplary. I thought the comments in the Grauniad earlier this year were scathing - a quick read now and they're on the verge or rioting! Some brilliant ripostes and some pitiful defence consisting of "only Tories comment and blog here" and "well, the Tories would be worse".

Click on the links above to see for yourselves.

Jackie Ashley may have kidded herself about her husband, Andy Marr's, affair and illegitimate daughter with Alice Miles, but she's got some way to go before convincing disillusioned liebour voters.

Apologists for Evil

"...leftie, liberal, multicultural appeasement monkeys..."

Fantastic! Good old Pat Condell.

Global scepticism

From the champions of impartiality, the BBC brings you glad tidings from another survey that says, wait for it:

Twice as many people now agree that "claims that human activities are changing the climate are exaggerated"

Well, what do you know! Apparently, if you are from the following demographic, you can see through the propaganda:

• Men


• Rural


• Older


• High earners


• Conservative voters

Interesting demographic - anyone would think that only those people who had independent thought would see through the big scam and weren't taking in by the propaganda and actually thought and challenged this growing tide of eco-fascism.

The windmills of your mind

Apart from the cost of maintenance to keep these "bird slicers" (a minor amount of carnage, of course, but I love the term) running, what they fail to tell you is that this variable power source requires a conventional power source as a backup: a fossil fuel burning one.

Now what they also give the impression is that when the wind stops blowing just as EastEnders starts, they press a button and the standby power station does the business.

Let me tell you, having worked on a power station and refinery in a former life, one does not simply press a big start button and voila: instant power. It can take several days to "black start" a power station.

In order to get the power to the grid quickly, the power station must be in "standby" mode i.e. its furnaces lit, the steam generated and pressured and possibly the turbines rotating.

So while these windmills are busy spinning away keeping the thicky green eco-nazis happy in blissful ignorance and couscous salads, a nasty old backup power station is quietly burning fossil fuels in the background.

Tax, tax and more tax and subsidies to large corporations.

These idiots simply wont be happy until horses are towing our Volvos.

Compare the Meerkat

After returning from a brief spell in France, I've discovered an amazing similarity between Aleksandr Orlov and Evan Davis. Compare the Meerkat.com.

Desperately seeking Xoggoth

One of my top keyword search items is “Xoggoth”.

And who or what is a Xoggoth you may be asking yourselves?

Well, he’s a thoroughly decent chap over at contractor uk website with probably one of the most zany and hilarious bloggoth’s I’ve seen!

Xoggoth, be warned: you have people out to find you!

"Gordon Brown is a c**t"

From the Grauniad:

Clarkson, who previously had to apologise to Gordon in February after calling him "a one-eyed Scottish idiot", described him as a "cunt" in not-for-broadcast comments during the recording of this week's Top Gear programme on Wednesday night.

He was talking about government policy and finished off with the line: "The reason you can't do that is because Gordon Brown is a cunt"

Bad boy!

The epitome of "new" liebour and its lies

In the Daily Politics show, Andrew Neil interviews labour's armed forces minister, Bill Rammell who unashamedly twists, misdirects and lies his way in true labour style.

I can't really comment on this, I'm too angry.

If you go to the ballot box next year and put a cross next to the local labour candidate's name, you should, like this piece of shit, be dragged out in a Snatch Land Rover and spend a few days out in Afghanistan and then see how quickly you would be writing out the cheque for more troops and equipment rather seeing how many more chums you can "employ" in the public sector or how many "poor friends from afar" we can buy houses for.

+++ IBM develops a speaking computer that can replace an MP +++

IBM have created a supercomputer that will appear on the American programme Jeopardy. Named "Watson" it is being designed to compete against human contestants in the TV show.

From geek.com :

Just like the human contestants, Watson will be be given questions in regular American English. The human communication form is being used by Watson to demonstrate its ability to break down natural language questions into their true, baser or inherent meaning, with the appropriate answers being determined from its vast repository of knowledge, and all within a couple seconds.

However, it is no Terminator or HAL - here is one of the responses to a Jeopardy question:

Host: “The cause of the French and Indian war was the struggle for control of this area, in the modern-day Midwest.

”Watson: “What is Paris?”

Well, that may be good enough for a truth-avoiding Labour MP on Newsnight, but sadly on a highbrow show like Jeopardy, it may struggle a tad.

Die Grüne Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei kommen!

"Nazis...I hate these guys!"

I. Jones

Especially the Green ones. Coming to a business near you these guys will be creating havoc, disrupting the bottom line and spending your money that doesn't exists, courtesy of the Environment Agency. From The Times online:

The agency is creating a unit of about 50 auditors and inspectors, complete with warrant cards and the power to search company premises to enforce the Carbon Reduction Commitment (CRC), which comes into effect next year.

Decked out in green jackets, the enforcers will be able to demand access to company property, view power meters, call up electricity and gas bills and examine carbon-trading records for an estimated 6,000 British businesses. Ed Mitchell, head of business performance and regulation at the Environment Agency, said the squad would help to bring emissions under control. “Climate change and CO2 are the world’s biggest issues right now. The Carbon Reduction Commitment is one of the ways in which Britain is responding.”

It's happening, bit by bit...soon we will hear the words:

"Ihre Papieren, bitte!"

In the words of the late Phil Lynott, I'll paraphrase a little ditty of his:

"Guess who just got back today?
Them wild-eyed Greens that had been away
Haven't changed, haven't much to say
But man, I still think them twats are crazy
They were asking if you were around
How you was, where you could be found
Told them you were living downtown
Driving all the old lefties crazy

The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
I said
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town
The Greens are back in town"

etc

h/t An Englishman's Castle

(Sample MP3 from Amazon of above song here)

The insane Prime Mentalist

There's no doubt about it - he's fecking insane! Just watch this and decide for yourselves.

Great name

Ivana Pezer

LOL!

Me too! I'm starvin' for Italian food!

Moonwalking

A fantastic quote on the Coffee House blog, where Fraser Nelson accuses (quite rightly) Ed Balls of mendacious utterings, by Robert Bauer:

Michael Jackson may have popularised Moonwalking (giving the illusion of moving forward, but actually going backward!), but the Labour Party has perfected it!

Children are our future

I was sitting in a doctor's waiting room with my elderly mother when a young girl went up to all the empty seats and banged them with both her hands. This went on for several minutes and as she approached me I noticed she had snot running down her face. As she was sneezing and coughing I deduced she must have had bird flu, although glancing at her rotund "the worlds a Kentucky Fried oyster" mother, it could have been swine flu.

With that, she wiped the strings of mucus onto her hands and then proceeded to play the game of banging the empty seats and wiping the snotty putty on them.

Not one person said anything apart from the mother who shouted large words of encouragement to her feral offspring. With her continual diatribe of describing the exact actions of her kid to what appeared to be no-one in particular, for a moment, I thought I was starring in some sort of docu-drama.

Sadly, not a camera was to be found so I simply shouted: "Can you control your child please, as she has flu and is spreading her germs around this waiting room full of elderly and infirm people here. It is NOT a kindergarten".

The mother just scowled at me and reluctantly tried to control her spawn by a series of commands, rather than the obvious way of getting her fat lardarse off the fucking chair and grabbing the kid.

Not one person said a thing.

I hate this thing when parents allow their children to run amok in public places such as restaurants, libraries, supermarkets and waiting rooms. Especially supermarkets. What is it that these new mummies have to shout out loud to their kids explaining everything mummy is doing and what little Johnny would like to choose. It's annoying, I keep looking for the cameras and sound crew making their next documentary.

There's nothing worse then closing ones eyes as one delicately savours a rare 28 day mature rump steak and some minion from Beelzebub armed with some stolen restaurant cutlery comes screaming at your table firing a salvo of partially digested bread, deep fried chicken mcbollocks and grass from their gaping craw while their parents all look so fucking pleased with themselves and go "Aaaaaaaah!" as though they are singing the Girl from fecking Ipanema.

Nukids - fecking the spawn of the Devil - I'm not afraid to tell them quite loudly: "FUCK OFF!"

The Chipmunk's Blankety-Blank Cheque

Hazel Blears promised to pay £13,332 in capital gains tax that she had avoided when she sold one of her homes.

If this cheque was for a CGT liability, what about the interest and late payment charges that HMRC would normally demand on late notification and payment?

Also, included with the penalties should be increased charges of CGT @ 40%, not 18% as this has changed recently. So her cheque should be around £18,000 plus penalties and interest.

Where is the HMRC demand?

Has it been paid?

When asked by the Salford Star she said:

“I don't know yet what they intend to do with it” she says “I am clear that I don't want it offset against future tax liability. If they return it, I will make an equivalent donation to a
good cause.”

Yeah, like the labour party? This is just window dressing for her Salford constituency. From the woman that said "In a recession, there's no space for freeloaders".

Sanctimonious hypocrite. I hope the electorate in Salford fight their tribalist instincts and vote labour out next year.

H/T Image Sheikyermami

"Take your Oyster card and shove it up your arsehole"

In "honour" of this sanctimonious little Trotskyist shithead, a well known little ditty as performed by the Amateur Transplants (updated song on their website).

London Underground Song

Audio NSFW

Voluntary Repatriation Scheme

Nick Griffin mentioned this last night after winning his seat. I thought it was a BNP thing but in actual fact, it has been on the Government statute books since 1971:

Voluntary Repatriation Scheme

That's something the media do not report.

Live Election Results from Iain Dale

+++ Gordon Brown being pushed out +++

Just heard on BBC Daily Politics show that one of the reporters had been speaking for a few hours with Labour backbenchers and there is a concerted effort via a petition to remove Gordon Brown and replace him with Alan Johnson.

Interesting times....!

+++ Latest Poll: Labour going, going, gone +++

Just seen this latest poll from Mr Dale's site:

CON 40%(-1) LAB 18%(-10) LIB DEM 18%(-4)

More details here...

"Eject Eject Eject!"

I get the feeling that the Labour party are going through the same emotions as this trainee pilot!

You know, keep your nose up and clean, keep burning the taxpayers money, and hope no Guido Falcon spoils your despicable troughfest by headbutting your titanium fan blades causing a flameout!

The only difference with this brave scenario of decent military aviators versus the scumbag politicos, I hope due to their fiscal incompetence, MPs have found that they couldn't afford the parachutes.

Just had a thought...

A few weeks ago, swine flu ridden MPs were collectively snorting a sigh of relief as their expenses were going to be doctored to remove the incriminating evidence before being open to public viewing in July, conveniently after the June elections.

Now that the Telegraph have access to the uncensored itemised receipts, will parliament now reveal the receipts uncensored?

A bit of a tricky one this...

How "old wives tales" become government policy

Hat Tip to the Freedom To Choose blog via uber-bloggers Dick Puddlecote and LegIron on how an unscientific report consisting of a phonecall to 1000 bovine idiots whether they thought people who are smokers can infect people simply by standing next to them. Note, not actually smoking, but "3rd hand smoke".

The report concluded from the responses of the non-thinkers that yes indeedy, babies and the sick will die of cancer by simply standing next to a smoker.

And behold, via the equally lobotomised media, it became policy and now smokers are not permitted to enter the Royal Oldham Hospital in Manchester, simply because they choose to smoke. Note: not smoking, but have been or are smokers.

Another example of where no scientific proof will get in the way of a predetermined decision by the the Wretched.

Wake up Neo...(knock knock)

Uncensored expenses revelation is Labour spin operation?

Blogs everywhere are going bananas about the Telegraph's revelations of MP's uncensored expenses claims. Although we were due to see these in July, MPs ordered certain "private" (read incriminating) details be removed.

At the moment, these are all about the current Labour government and so far Harperson has been flitting from Sky to the BBC (Pravda) in a vain attempt to repeat the mantra:

"It was within the rules, the old system was wrong, we have recognised this and we will be reviewing this"

Which I and everyone else reads as:

"Shit! We've been caught out, it's bad, very bad, and now we've got to pretend to change the system"

However, once again my spider senses are tingling:

Could this simply be an opportunistic way of dumping out bad Labour news now, and then revealing the Tory expenses closer to the elections in a few weeks time, especially considering the Labour biased behaviour of the Telegraph over the last few years?

Ghurkas backtracking farce by the labour government

Joanna Lumley had said she was 'devastated and shocked' at the verdicts on the five men and threatened to voice her anger at a press conference this afternoon.

She was called into a urgent meeting with Immigration Minister Phil Woolas to be told the rejections had 'no practical effect'.

And so the backtracking commences. See Joanna's face as the weasel Woolas squirms his labour lies:

BBC Website

Prescott's New Career Inspired By Jim Carrey

Prescott

Predator

A new career beckons in 2010, Mr Prescott!