Thanks to Guido once again for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Slight improvement this time with RedEd taking advantage of Clarke's rape gaffe earlier and a rare appearance by the Beast of Bolsover.
#safariwatch
obangobang: Is that a giraffe next to Milibad?
Steve Miliband: Is that a Giraffe or Harman
13eastie: Nice to see Harman's giraffe outfit has been retained.
Dick Scratcher: Can we burn that frigging giraffe suit on 5th November?
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 810F (Satsuma Ego)
#tiewatch
Billy Blofeld: Dave and George have decided to be Tories today........ hence the blue ties.....
#labourparody
THE PARTY OPPOSITE: DENNIS SKINNER IS MY MAN
#tuscantonyslingualschool
Dorian Smith: Tráthnóna maith, iad siúd a lick na fuinneoga
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s Prius has just died.
#bestpun
genghiz the khan: tyrie and unemotional
#bestline
Duckhouse Rools - Julian: Good morning Guido good about the english speaking requirement - cast of eastenders to be deported then
#highlights
Dick the Prick: Afternoon sex pests
genghiz the khan: wape, pillage, dwink,
Beware of Geeks: "Welease Woderwick! He's a wapist!"
Moniker: Balls and rape - interesting combo
will: god the labour front bench look like they have been sucking lemons
Tuscan Tony: Slightly unhappy use of the words "bonkers" by Ed when talking about rape.
Julian Duckhouse Rools - Julian: From Red to dead....in 30 mins....
Billy Blofeld: I'd like to see their balls smashed between bricks........ go on Dave you know you want to say that....
Tuscan Tony: Gotta watch your fingers if you do that Billy
Dick Scratcher: Hyman = bit of a c***
Dick Scratcher: Laws going down....every night
Spank Sinatra: Shares for chavs - wonderful
Tuscan Tony: Rachel reeves: today's overmotivated loon.
Tuscan Tony: Is Ken Clarke taking some points for Huhne?
MrHarryCole: RT @Lefty_Lisa: Ken Clarke will be on the Vanessa show later. Its where Tories go to fire the final bullet into their careers.
Spank Sinatra: Big breaths and she's only thixteen
M. Crescent: Caroline Norks looking luscious today
Tuscan Tony: Caroline N looks like she's been at the wallpaper bucket again this morning.
Tuscan Tony: John Robertson: a tethered weather balloon of an MP
Beware of Geeks: The reason the torch is not stopping in Sunderland is 'cos it will be knicked
Showing posts with label PMQS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PMQS. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Guido's PMQs & Budget Live Highlights: What You Didn’t Read In The Papers
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
It was a big one - over two hours of windowlicking goodness to trawl through hence the release today.
Ozzie had a frog in his throat for most of the budget speech and Red Ed's reply was simply pre-scripted drivel and there was a noticeable marked aggressive tone to the accompanied LiveChat comments.
Seeing Miliband yesterday was like watching a kid getting upset because mummy took his toys away for greedily gorging on all the family chocolates.
Although I am an equal opportunities windowlicker (I hate all the parties equally), I simply can't stand the hypocrisy of Labour blaming the Tories for the country's demise. From selling the gold at the bottom of the market, fiscal drag and the removal of the dividend tax credit on pensions, Gordon Brown and Labour have wrecked the economy. Fact.
But there they are, the little Orcs scampering around on the media, telling their lies to all the sheeple, criticising the Tories and all the while not one interviewer has said:
#tuscantonyslingualschool
Tuscan Tony: Good filghodu, laghaq tieqa
#tiewatch
Beware of Geeks: Purple tie for Ozzie, red for Cleggie, black for Cameron - George and Zippy would be proud
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain pantone reference: 815G (Blackpool subs bench)
#celebwatch
Billy Bowden: Celeb watch: Gordon is not in the chamber
#latest
Steve Miliband: Al Magrahi survives Japanese Tsunami
Billy Bowden: Latest : al Marghrais toaster has died.
Tuscan Tony: Al Megrahi's Joshua tree's just died.
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Megrahi's water cress has just died
Tuscan Tony: Al Magrahi outlives Liz Taylor.
#Labour parody of the Week
Gary Elsby: Anyone can be forgiven in thinking Tories have proven their successes over the years.
#bestpun
John M Ward MIA with tech probs
#bestline
Tuscan Tony: Fred Titmus will be spinning in his grave.
#highlights
obangobang: I think I prefer it upside down. I know my wife does, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
obangobang: Too deep, too fast. My wife says that too!!
Tuscan Tony: Good filghodu, laghaq tieqa
Urban Tory: Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper are proof that ugly begets ugly
Tuscan Tony: Is John Woodcock a member of a splinter group?
Beware of Geeks: Ozzie got a nice shade of yellow - has he been on a quick trip to Zambia?
Urban Tory: @BoG its Liver failure
Tuscan Tony: Hague is the only person who looks more ridiculous than his cartoons.
Dick Scratcher: Is Shirley Williams' fanny a no fly zone?
Beware of Geeks: @DS - not even "bunker busters" can touch the sides
Tuscan Tony: Fred Titmus will be spinning in his grave.
Tuscan Tony: Croydon = Surrey's Detroit
Gadaffi: Gordo's wandering around Barnsley looking for the Thames. He might be a while.
obangobang: Maguire criticising someone for fluffing their lines. Lucky he uses his nose for his.
Tuscan Tony: Dead heat in a zeppelin race.
Beware of Geeks: "Tally ho! McRuin at angels 10. I've got a good tone...Fox..Fox 1"
Urban Tory: @BoG that was the geekiest and therefore coolest thing ever said on this blog
Cassius: NHS is going to be important if Harman is to get that face and hand transplant
The Anglo Saxon: "I can see clearly now the Gold has gone"
Tuscan Tony: Well endowment fund.
Steve Miliband: Rhodedendrum size plant
Tardkiller: I see Elsby is on day release
GuidoFawkes: @ns_mehdihasan Mrs Fawkes has made it clear she would like an Irish Baronetcy...
Urban Tory: why is Balls grinning like a bellend?
Billy Bowden: Because he is a bell end
Dorian Smith: Gary Elsby is a less eloquent Bob Crow
Nixon in China: Any truth in the rumour that Spandau ballet are lined up the play whenever Gordon Brown enters the House ?
Another Engineer: Nixon - They might as well line up Elvis to play when Gordon enters the house.
Ivor Tapeworm: From Shanghai to San Paulo - Hit Me with Your Rythm Stick
Steve Miliband: Massey Ferguson 1 John Deere 0
Call me Infidel: "does cherie wear a burka?" No but she bloody well should the ugly munter.
Tankus: Blimey.... wales gets electricity
Tardkiller: gordy did his budgets with a fishemans friend up his anus
Dick Scratcher: Enterprise Zones = Dogsh**land
Nixon in China: Potholes? Now they know how much it costs in cash to fill the Albert hall !
Dorian Smith: WHy don't we just put Caroline Lucas on a treadmill, how green is that?
Billy Bowden: POlly will blame Taylors death on the wicked tories.
Ivor Tapeworm: Has Elizabeth Taylor gone for a burton?
Nixon in China: If the media can just make the link between Liz Taylor, Japanese Spinach and Sarah Palin....Job Done!
cough mixture: BIG COUGH
Dick Scratcher: IDS wants his frog back
Beware of Geeks: Carla Bruni wants her frog back
Frog in Georges throat: Ken Clarke has nodded off
Tankus: Balls mock horror face ...same as his sex one ...I wonder
Nixon in China: Ed is hoping to soundbite the economy into recovery
busted nokia: Ed should audition for Caesar in life of brian
Tankus: what about Gordons biscuit policy on mumsnet ..to choc or hobnob !, its sooooo difficult
It was a big one - over two hours of windowlicking goodness to trawl through hence the release today.
Ozzie had a frog in his throat for most of the budget speech and Red Ed's reply was simply pre-scripted drivel and there was a noticeable marked aggressive tone to the accompanied LiveChat comments.
Seeing Miliband yesterday was like watching a kid getting upset because mummy took his toys away for greedily gorging on all the family chocolates.
Although I am an equal opportunities windowlicker (I hate all the parties equally), I simply can't stand the hypocrisy of Labour blaming the Tories for the country's demise. From selling the gold at the bottom of the market, fiscal drag and the removal of the dividend tax credit on pensions, Gordon Brown and Labour have wrecked the economy. Fact.
But there they are, the little Orcs scampering around on the media, telling their lies to all the sheeple, criticising the Tories and all the while not one interviewer has said:
"But all this is your fault".
#tuscantonyslingualschool
Tuscan Tony: Good filghodu, laghaq tieqa
#tiewatch
Beware of Geeks: Purple tie for Ozzie, red for Cleggie, black for Cameron - George and Zippy would be proud
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain pantone reference: 815G (Blackpool subs bench)
#celebwatch
Billy Bowden: Celeb watch: Gordon is not in the chamber
#latest
Steve Miliband: Al Magrahi survives Japanese Tsunami
Billy Bowden: Latest : al Marghrais toaster has died.
Tuscan Tony: Al Megrahi's Joshua tree's just died.
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Megrahi's water cress has just died
Tuscan Tony: Al Magrahi outlives Liz Taylor.
#Labour parody of the Week
Gary Elsby: Anyone can be forgiven in thinking Tories have proven their successes over the years.
#bestpun
John M Ward MIA with tech probs
#bestline
Tuscan Tony: Fred Titmus will be spinning in his grave.
#highlights
obangobang: I think I prefer it upside down. I know my wife does, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
obangobang: Too deep, too fast. My wife says that too!!
Tuscan Tony: Good filghodu, laghaq tieqa
Urban Tory: Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper are proof that ugly begets ugly
Tuscan Tony: Is John Woodcock a member of a splinter group?
Beware of Geeks: Ozzie got a nice shade of yellow - has he been on a quick trip to Zambia?
Urban Tory: @BoG its Liver failure
Tuscan Tony: Hague is the only person who looks more ridiculous than his cartoons.
Dick Scratcher: Is Shirley Williams' fanny a no fly zone?
Beware of Geeks: @DS - not even "bunker busters" can touch the sides
Tuscan Tony: Fred Titmus will be spinning in his grave.
Tuscan Tony: Croydon = Surrey's Detroit
Gadaffi: Gordo's wandering around Barnsley looking for the Thames. He might be a while.
obangobang: Maguire criticising someone for fluffing their lines. Lucky he uses his nose for his.
Tuscan Tony: Dead heat in a zeppelin race.
Beware of Geeks: "Tally ho! McRuin at angels 10. I've got a good tone...Fox..Fox 1"
Urban Tory: @BoG that was the geekiest and therefore coolest thing ever said on this blog
Cassius: NHS is going to be important if Harman is to get that face and hand transplant
The Anglo Saxon: "I can see clearly now the Gold has gone"
Tuscan Tony: Well endowment fund.
Steve Miliband: Rhodedendrum size plant
Tardkiller: I see Elsby is on day release
GuidoFawkes: @ns_mehdihasan Mrs Fawkes has made it clear she would like an Irish Baronetcy...
Urban Tory: why is Balls grinning like a bellend?
Billy Bowden: Because he is a bell end
Dorian Smith: Gary Elsby is a less eloquent Bob Crow
Nixon in China: Any truth in the rumour that Spandau ballet are lined up the play whenever Gordon Brown enters the House ?
Another Engineer: Nixon - They might as well line up Elvis to play when Gordon enters the house.
Ivor Tapeworm: From Shanghai to San Paulo - Hit Me with Your Rythm Stick
Steve Miliband: Massey Ferguson 1 John Deere 0
Call me Infidel: "does cherie wear a burka?" No but she bloody well should the ugly munter.
Tankus: Blimey.... wales gets electricity
Tardkiller: gordy did his budgets with a fishemans friend up his anus
Dick Scratcher: Enterprise Zones = Dogsh**land
Nixon in China: Potholes? Now they know how much it costs in cash to fill the Albert hall !
Dorian Smith: WHy don't we just put Caroline Lucas on a treadmill, how green is that?
Billy Bowden: POlly will blame Taylors death on the wicked tories.
Ivor Tapeworm: Has Elizabeth Taylor gone for a burton?
Nixon in China: If the media can just make the link between Liz Taylor, Japanese Spinach and Sarah Palin....Job Done!
cough mixture: BIG COUGH
Dick Scratcher: IDS wants his frog back
Beware of Geeks: Carla Bruni wants her frog back
Frog in Georges throat: Ken Clarke has nodded off
Tankus: Balls mock horror face ...same as his sex one ...I wonder
Nixon in China: Ed is hoping to soundbite the economy into recovery
busted nokia: Ed should audition for Caesar in life of brian
Tankus: what about Gordons biscuit policy on mumsnet ..to choc or hobnob !, its sooooo difficult
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat Highlights: No Fuel Zone Edition
Thanks to Guidofor hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
(sorry for delay - work issues)
#tiewatch
Dorian Smith: Could Clegg's tie be any more yellow?
Billy Bowden: Crap tie Ed!!!
@JULIANBRAY: Hague looking pensive .... why? all tories wearing blue ties has there been a fatwa?
@JULIANBRAY: cleggy has puilled out the yellow tie
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Belisha Brillo)
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Esma Cannon (old lady in Carry Ons) in public gallery
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s air conditioning has just died.
Tuscan Tony: More bad news for Magrahi: his extensive lichen collection has just died.
Tuscan Tony: More bad news - Maghrahi's signature on the Magna Carta has faded.
#bestpun
John M Ward: Heinous or Hain-ous?
#bestline
Tuscan Tony: If Wotton Bassett is to be called Royal will Leicester be name Mongolian Cluster?
#highlights
Tuscan Tony: Does the Muslim Parliament do a Taliban/insurgent death rollcall too?
Steve Miliband: Woyal as Red Ed would say
Ed But Look Balls: Cheltenham tic tac
Tuscan Tony: If Wotton Bassett is to be called Royal will Leicester be name Mongolian Cluster?
Steve Miliband: You don't get posher than a posh jock jock
John M Ward: Ken Clarke's dark green tie flowing in a gentle curve over his belly...
Tuscan Tony: Ed "Mongolian" MIliband
John M Ward: Red Ed's mouth at least as assymetric as Douglas carswell's...
Dick the Prick: The Hain pantone quite heinous
John M Ward: Heinous or Hain-ous?
Tuscan Tony: Would Ed Miliband qualify for the Midsomer Murders cast, one wonders?
Dorian Smith: MRSA went up under Labour
Dick Scratcher: Angela Eagle wants a Strapadicktomi on the NHS
Dick the Prick: How saggy are Harman's jugs?
Dick Scratcher: NHSSR
John M Ward: "Son of Road-block" !
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes his passage blocking
Tankus: shoot the dwarf
Ed But Look Balls: PrescriptED!
AV or not AV?: Ah nostalgia - Tractor Stats reappear
Dick Scratcher: George Formby?
Dick Scratcher: "Turned out sh** again"
Mr Bridger: miliband "I have a fwiend fwom Wome named 'Biggus Dickus.'"
Beware of Geeks: Won't someone think of the Ginsters
John M Ward: John Prescott is *always* thinking of Ginsters!
Dorian Smith: More macs than McDonalds at lunchtime
@JULIANBRAY: Och aye the rank an file putting police out on the street nae munny ye ken....something like that
Eddie Strange: 53 Jocks so far on my count....
Beware of Geeks: @Eddie Strange - you are Gordon Brown and I claim my free bankruptcy card
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes Olympic Rings
Dick Scratcher: Bernie the Haircut
Rog: Ken Clarke looking like his Madame Tussards facsimile after a small fire.
Midsomer Ethnic: Born to be bullied
Dick the Prick: My right honourable Hooooon
(sorry for delay - work issues)
#tiewatch
Dorian Smith: Could Clegg's tie be any more yellow?
Billy Bowden: Crap tie Ed!!!
@JULIANBRAY: Hague looking pensive .... why? all tories wearing blue ties has there been a fatwa?
@JULIANBRAY: cleggy has puilled out the yellow tie
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Belisha Brillo)
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Esma Cannon (old lady in Carry Ons) in public gallery
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s air conditioning has just died.
Tuscan Tony: More bad news for Magrahi: his extensive lichen collection has just died.
Tuscan Tony: More bad news - Maghrahi's signature on the Magna Carta has faded.
#bestpun
John M Ward: Heinous or Hain-ous?
#bestline
Tuscan Tony: If Wotton Bassett is to be called Royal will Leicester be name Mongolian Cluster?
#highlights
Tuscan Tony: Does the Muslim Parliament do a Taliban/insurgent death rollcall too?
Steve Miliband: Woyal as Red Ed would say
Ed But Look Balls: Cheltenham tic tac
Tuscan Tony: If Wotton Bassett is to be called Royal will Leicester be name Mongolian Cluster?
Steve Miliband: You don't get posher than a posh jock jock
John M Ward: Ken Clarke's dark green tie flowing in a gentle curve over his belly...
Tuscan Tony: Ed "Mongolian" MIliband
John M Ward: Red Ed's mouth at least as assymetric as Douglas carswell's...
Dick the Prick: The Hain pantone quite heinous
John M Ward: Heinous or Hain-ous?
Tuscan Tony: Would Ed Miliband qualify for the Midsomer Murders cast, one wonders?
Dorian Smith: MRSA went up under Labour
Dick Scratcher: Angela Eagle wants a Strapadicktomi on the NHS
Dick the Prick: How saggy are Harman's jugs?
Dick Scratcher: NHSSR
John M Ward: "Son of Road-block" !
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes his passage blocking
Tankus: shoot the dwarf
Ed But Look Balls: PrescriptED!
AV or not AV?: Ah nostalgia - Tractor Stats reappear
Dick Scratcher: George Formby?
Dick Scratcher: "Turned out sh** again"
Mr Bridger: miliband "I have a fwiend fwom Wome named 'Biggus Dickus.'"
Beware of Geeks: Won't someone think of the Ginsters
John M Ward: John Prescott is *always* thinking of Ginsters!
Dorian Smith: More macs than McDonalds at lunchtime
@JULIANBRAY: Och aye the rank an file putting police out on the street nae munny ye ken....something like that
Eddie Strange: 53 Jocks so far on my count....
Beware of Geeks: @Eddie Strange - you are Gordon Brown and I claim my free bankruptcy card
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes Olympic Rings
Dick Scratcher: Bernie the Haircut
Rog: Ken Clarke looking like his Madame Tussards facsimile after a small fire.
Midsomer Ethnic: Born to be bullied
Dick the Prick: My right honourable Hooooon
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Keep It Vague Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Peter Bone got the funniest line in with a great reply from Cam saying: "I wish my wife was as easily pleased!"
#carloslunch
Carlos: What's should I have for pudding?
Carlos: Should I use Fairy or Tesco washing up liquid?
John M Ward: Bottle Fairy, Carlos. Oh no, that's a Japanese anime...
#tiewatch
Dick Scratcher: Old school tie behind - or is it egg?
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Andre’s six pack)
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Stuart Golabek (Inverness Caledonian Thistle defender) in public gallery
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Stuart Golabek (Inverness Caledonian Thistle defender) in public gallery
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s cactus has just died.
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s watch has just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: Y'know: if Guido collapsed in the gutter on the way back from the pub', would he become one of those fawkes in the road?
#bestline
Billy Bowden: If you saw Guido at the beach you would have to start throwing buckets of water over him.
#highlights
Steve Miliband: David Cameron’s favourite cigarettes are Silk Savings
Steve Miliband: Hague would like 20 Embassies
Steve Miliband: Osborne prefers Benson and Hedgefunds
Dorian Smith: HH looking perky, is it the love beads?
John M Ward: "Poleeth othitherth ??
obangobang: We've lost 12,000 police officers in Libya? F*** me, that was careless.
Tuscan Tony: Two Theresa's, One Cup.
John M Ward: From MacNeil to Neil Carmichael
John M Ward: ...and in a while back to Andrew Neil!
Ed But Look Balls: dildo goggins!
Dick Scratcher: Del Piero: There are a quarter of a million Italians in Britain. And they’ll be made to suffer. Every restaurant, café, ice-cream parlour, gambling den and nightclub in London, Liverpool and Glasgow, will be smashed. Mr Bridger will drive them into the sea.
John M Ward: Was that Caroline Flint's other hair?
Beware of Geeks: Did she just say "Bull****!"?
Tuscan Tony: Gloria de Bonehead.
MrHarryCole: Cracking question from the Bonester
Ed But Look Balls: Bone Alone!
paulwaugh: Brilliantly deft reply from PM to Peter Bone:"I wish my wife was as easy to please"
Steve Miliband: I bet Ed wishes his 'life partner' was easy to please
Tuscan Tony: Michael W, you are a pile of erectile tissue and I claim my offshore trust.
Tuscan Tony: Why is Vince Cable wearing an opium poppy?
Dick the Prick: Sweaty, matted, greasy minge
Tuscan Tony: Don't knock it til you've tried it DtP
Steve Miliband: Al Mehgrahi's great granny's birthday today
Tuscan Tony: Powerful thighs, that Bagshawe woman.
Rog: Ken Clarke going for the partially deflated rubber dinghy look I think.
Dick Scratcher: I’d like to communicate Caroline Flint’s brains out, but what happened to that other great Liebour communicator Tony McNumpty? Anyone seen him?
Tuscan Tony: fist past the paws - Winnie the Pooh porno?
Steve Miliband: Alan titmarsh has fewer plants
Dick Scratcher: He should give Ffion a good ff***ing
John M Ward: Y'know: if Guido collapsed in the gutter on the way back from the pub', would he become one of those fawkes in the road?
John M Ward: Y'know: if Guido collapsed in the gutter on the way back from the pub', would he become one of those fawkes in the road?
Billy Bowden: If you saw Guido at the beach you would have to start throwing buckets of water over him.
Peter Bone got the funniest line in with a great reply from Cam saying: "I wish my wife was as easily pleased!"
#carloslunch
Carlos: What's should I have for pudding?
Carlos: Should I use Fairy or Tesco washing up liquid?
John M Ward: Bottle Fairy, Carlos. Oh no, that's a Japanese anime...
#tiewatch
Dick Scratcher: Old school tie behind - or is it egg?
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Andre’s six pack)
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Stuart Golabek (Inverness Caledonian Thistle defender) in public gallery
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Stuart Golabek (Inverness Caledonian Thistle defender) in public gallery
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s cactus has just died.
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s watch has just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: Y'know: if Guido collapsed in the gutter on the way back from the pub', would he become one of those fawkes in the road?
#bestline
Billy Bowden: If you saw Guido at the beach you would have to start throwing buckets of water over him.
#highlights
Steve Miliband: David Cameron’s favourite cigarettes are Silk Savings
Steve Miliband: Hague would like 20 Embassies
Steve Miliband: Osborne prefers Benson and Hedgefunds
Dorian Smith: HH looking perky, is it the love beads?
John M Ward: "Poleeth othitherth ??
obangobang: We've lost 12,000 police officers in Libya? F*** me, that was careless.
Tuscan Tony: Two Theresa's, One Cup.
John M Ward: From MacNeil to Neil Carmichael
John M Ward: ...and in a while back to Andrew Neil!
Ed But Look Balls: dildo goggins!
Dick Scratcher: Del Piero: There are a quarter of a million Italians in Britain. And they’ll be made to suffer. Every restaurant, café, ice-cream parlour, gambling den and nightclub in London, Liverpool and Glasgow, will be smashed. Mr Bridger will drive them into the sea.
John M Ward: Was that Caroline Flint's other hair?
Beware of Geeks: Did she just say "Bull****!"?
Tuscan Tony: Gloria de Bonehead.
MrHarryCole: Cracking question from the Bonester
Ed But Look Balls: Bone Alone!
paulwaugh: Brilliantly deft reply from PM to Peter Bone:"I wish my wife was as easy to please"
Steve Miliband: I bet Ed wishes his 'life partner' was easy to please
Tuscan Tony: Michael W, you are a pile of erectile tissue and I claim my offshore trust.
Tuscan Tony: Why is Vince Cable wearing an opium poppy?
Dick the Prick: Sweaty, matted, greasy minge
Tuscan Tony: Don't knock it til you've tried it DtP
Steve Miliband: Al Mehgrahi's great granny's birthday today
Tuscan Tony: Powerful thighs, that Bagshawe woman.
Rog: Ken Clarke going for the partially deflated rubber dinghy look I think.
Dick Scratcher: I’d like to communicate Caroline Flint’s brains out, but what happened to that other great Liebour communicator Tony McNumpty? Anyone seen him?
Tuscan Tony: fist past the paws - Winnie the Pooh porno?
Steve Miliband: Alan titmarsh has fewer plants
Dick Scratcher: He should give Ffion a good ff***ing
John M Ward: Y'know: if Guido collapsed in the gutter on the way back from the pub', would he become one of those fawkes in the road?
John M Ward: Y'know: if Guido collapsed in the gutter on the way back from the pub', would he become one of those fawkes in the road?
Billy Bowden: If you saw Guido at the beach you would have to start throwing buckets of water over him.
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Bomber Dave Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
First one after half term where Red Ed splits his questions. Cameron gets a few laughs with his "brother loyalty" jibe but rather loses it when he tries it the second time.
#carloslunch
Carlos: I will making love to my girlfriend after PMQs. What positions should we try?
Tuscan Tony: Try being in the same room as her, Carlos.
Beware of Geeks: Hey, it's Carlos!
John M Ward: Ah, Carlos! First time I noticed you. What's for dinner? ;-)
#tiewatch
Beware of Geeks: Beaker's wearing a bright blue tie today
Steve Miliband: Hain clashes with tie
iainmartin1: @JohnRentoul Yes, Cameron and Miliband wearing almost matching outfits but Mili E's tie just a touch more purple
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 812G (Gaddafi’s Bollocks)
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Colin Bean (Pte. Sponge in Dads Army) in public gallery
sophyridge: Sally Bercow beaming down from public gallery in #pmqs
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s Kalashnikov has just died.
Tuscan Tony: newsflash: Al Magrahi's Joshua tree just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: Hasn't he been cautioned for loitering within tent?
#bestline
Tuscan Tony: Try saying electrification after lunch with Prezza
#highlights
Tuscan Tony: I just heard a minister refer to "beard rigging". Whatever could he have meant?
Steve Miliband: Iain martin is expecting a no tie zone
Dick Scratcher: Beaker supressing erection
Tuscan Tony: Send some Somali pirates to Libya.
Dorian Smith: What's going on with Tessa, like a sofa seeping it's stuffing
Dick Scratcher: The Mekon in humble nodding mode
Steve Miliband: socilist run out of other peoples monikers
adamboulton: EM: Why not dump policy? DC: In a moment you are going to give me a lesson on family loyalty.
Ed But Look Balls: Harpic looks like her anal beads are chafing!
Saif Pair of Hands: Mr Speaker wants to get to the bottom
Tuscan Tony: 2000 IT systems=10,000 lunches.
John M Ward: Huhne: "I think, therefore I am - I think..."
The Anglo Saxon: She was caught in bed with Mandy last week thats how butch she is.
Tuscan Tony: Tapsell: Bond villian
Yardarm: Al Megrahi; next President of Libya
Tuscan Tony: Severe poverty=42" plasma
Dorian Smith: Was Pearce a former member of the Sisters Of Mercy?
Airey Belvoir: Is Huhne in despair? Is Carina too rough with the strap-on?
Tuscan Tony: Try saying electrification after lunch with Prezza
Ed But Look Balls: Blenkinsop of Ripping Yarns fame!
Ed But Look Balls: Phil Marrowbone Jelly!
First one after half term where Red Ed splits his questions. Cameron gets a few laughs with his "brother loyalty" jibe but rather loses it when he tries it the second time.
#carloslunch
Carlos: I will making love to my girlfriend after PMQs. What positions should we try?
Tuscan Tony: Try being in the same room as her, Carlos.
Beware of Geeks: Hey, it's Carlos!
John M Ward: Ah, Carlos! First time I noticed you. What's for dinner? ;-)
#tiewatch
Beware of Geeks: Beaker's wearing a bright blue tie today
Steve Miliband: Hain clashes with tie
iainmartin1: @JohnRentoul Yes, Cameron and Miliband wearing almost matching outfits but Mili E's tie just a touch more purple
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 812G (Gaddafi’s Bollocks)
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Colin Bean (Pte. Sponge in Dads Army) in public gallery
sophyridge: Sally Bercow beaming down from public gallery in #pmqs
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s Kalashnikov has just died.
Tuscan Tony: newsflash: Al Magrahi's Joshua tree just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: Hasn't he been cautioned for loitering within tent?
#bestline
Tuscan Tony: Try saying electrification after lunch with Prezza
#highlights
Tuscan Tony: I just heard a minister refer to "beard rigging". Whatever could he have meant?
Steve Miliband: Iain martin is expecting a no tie zone
Dick Scratcher: Beaker supressing erection
Tuscan Tony: Send some Somali pirates to Libya.
Dorian Smith: What's going on with Tessa, like a sofa seeping it's stuffing
Dick Scratcher: The Mekon in humble nodding mode
Steve Miliband: socilist run out of other peoples monikers
adamboulton: EM: Why not dump policy? DC: In a moment you are going to give me a lesson on family loyalty.
Ed But Look Balls: Harpic looks like her anal beads are chafing!
Saif Pair of Hands: Mr Speaker wants to get to the bottom
Tuscan Tony: 2000 IT systems=10,000 lunches.
John M Ward: Huhne: "I think, therefore I am - I think..."
The Anglo Saxon: She was caught in bed with Mandy last week thats how butch she is.
Tuscan Tony: Tapsell: Bond villian
Yardarm: Al Megrahi; next President of Libya
Tuscan Tony: Severe poverty=42" plasma
Dorian Smith: Was Pearce a former member of the Sisters Of Mercy?
Airey Belvoir: Is Huhne in despair? Is Carina too rough with the strap-on?
Tuscan Tony: Try saying electrification after lunch with Prezza
Ed But Look Balls: Blenkinsop of Ripping Yarns fame!
Ed But Look Balls: Phil Marrowbone Jelly!
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Beans and Gold Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Another subdued session today with Red Ed not really landing any punches, although Michael White was spinning like Lord HawHaw on amphetamine on Twitter today.
#tiewatch
Billy Bowden: Pink tie by Clegg
iainmartinwsj: @JohnRentoul @martinbeckford Hague wins, as usual, on the neckwear front
iainmartinwsj: RT @amolrajan: and i know i bang on about it every week, but Osborne's tie is unforgivable
John M Ward: Odd orange stripe on his tie...
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Mouldy Satsuma)
#celebwatch
joncraig: Looks like Sally Bercow in gallery above Govt side of chamber for PMQs. Bright red dress and red tights. Gazing adoringly at hubby John!
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s mobile has just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: I think that whatever ends up happening with forests, Cameron is lumbered with the eventual decision...
#bestline
Dick Scratcher: She takes up two postcodes
#highlights
Billy Bowden: thanks Guido , wonder if a question on world class cancer care in lybia will make it?
Sue Denim: Harman's on Jury Duty - wonder if the crim will be someone she knows?
Dorian Smith: Wonder if Ozzy will have his "these are not the droids you're looking for" look this week
no longer anonymous: osborne grinning like a gimp
Dorian Smith: Is that Servelan from Blakes 7 to the left of Red Ed?
missing bogey picker: about time Lord Haw-Haws fate befell Michael White
iainmartinwsj: Who on earth scalped Mili E?! Haircut too short - like Elvis after they put him in the US army.
Ed But Look Balls: Ed Balls looks like he's squeezing out an SBD fart!
genghiz the khan: red ed like a rabbit stuck in front of a lorry
sophyridge: Ed Miliband's white patch seems to be turning into a white stripe...
journodave: Gosh this is about as boring as a Mumford and Sons album.
mrsspeakernaked: i don't like seeing DC a bit flustered by the funny man opposite with a nasal listhp. I blame the cat
joncraig: Sally Bercow laughs again when hubby John says he wants to hear from Nicholas Soames, who looks like he's had a two black pudding breakfast.
Dick Scratcher: The Wardrobe with his key.
Dick the Prick: Put down that goose pie
C4politics: RT @cathynewman: Sally bercow watching pmqs from public gallery, dressed in more than a sheet
The Enormous Community: one in one out ? it's Dave's Prison policy
Tuscan Tony: Do Labour have a deckchair rearrangement policy?
Dick Scratcher: Anal Duncan sat on a pleaser
John M Ward: Grayling in a Gray suit...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s mobile has just died.
Tuscan Tony: To be buried with his tortoise, DS.
MrHarryCole: My favorite ever cabbie sourced story was one about Ed Balls brushing Gordon Brown's hair on the way to a restaurant.
Tuscan Tony: moral compost?
Billy Bowden: Is Gordon in the Chamber?
Spank Sinatra: Yes Billy - the chamber pot
paulwaugh: Heckle of the Day. Lab MPs shout "Timber!" as PM says he not happy w forest sell-off policy.
John M Ward: I think that whatever ends up happening with forests, Cameron is lumbered with the eventual decision...
genghiz the khan: Is Hazel doing her own signs for the deaf?
Dick Scratcher: Cable discussing the 2.30 at Chepstow
The Enormous Community: The Big Society isn't Big enough for Pickles
Dick Scratcher: She takes up two postcodes
journodave: Theresa May appears to be wearing your nan's curtains from 1973
Another subdued session today with Red Ed not really landing any punches, although Michael White was spinning like Lord HawHaw on amphetamine on Twitter today.
#tiewatch
Billy Bowden: Pink tie by Clegg
iainmartinwsj: @JohnRentoul @martinbeckford Hague wins, as usual, on the neckwear front
iainmartinwsj: RT @amolrajan: and i know i bang on about it every week, but Osborne's tie is unforgivable
John M Ward: Odd orange stripe on his tie...
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Mouldy Satsuma)
#celebwatch
joncraig: Looks like Sally Bercow in gallery above Govt side of chamber for PMQs. Bright red dress and red tights. Gazing adoringly at hubby John!
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s mobile has just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: I think that whatever ends up happening with forests, Cameron is lumbered with the eventual decision...
#bestline
Dick Scratcher: She takes up two postcodes
#highlights
Billy Bowden: thanks Guido , wonder if a question on world class cancer care in lybia will make it?
Sue Denim: Harman's on Jury Duty - wonder if the crim will be someone she knows?
Dorian Smith: Wonder if Ozzy will have his "these are not the droids you're looking for" look this week
no longer anonymous: osborne grinning like a gimp
Dorian Smith: Is that Servelan from Blakes 7 to the left of Red Ed?
missing bogey picker: about time Lord Haw-Haws fate befell Michael White
iainmartinwsj: Who on earth scalped Mili E?! Haircut too short - like Elvis after they put him in the US army.
Ed But Look Balls: Ed Balls looks like he's squeezing out an SBD fart!
genghiz the khan: red ed like a rabbit stuck in front of a lorry
sophyridge: Ed Miliband's white patch seems to be turning into a white stripe...
journodave: Gosh this is about as boring as a Mumford and Sons album.
mrsspeakernaked: i don't like seeing DC a bit flustered by the funny man opposite with a nasal listhp. I blame the cat
joncraig: Sally Bercow laughs again when hubby John says he wants to hear from Nicholas Soames, who looks like he's had a two black pudding breakfast.
Dick Scratcher: The Wardrobe with his key.
Dick the Prick: Put down that goose pie
C4politics: RT @cathynewman: Sally bercow watching pmqs from public gallery, dressed in more than a sheet
The Enormous Community: one in one out ? it's Dave's Prison policy
Tuscan Tony: Do Labour have a deckchair rearrangement policy?
Dick Scratcher: Anal Duncan sat on a pleaser
John M Ward: Grayling in a Gray suit...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s mobile has just died.
Tuscan Tony: To be buried with his tortoise, DS.
MrHarryCole: My favorite ever cabbie sourced story was one about Ed Balls brushing Gordon Brown's hair on the way to a restaurant.
Tuscan Tony: moral compost?
Billy Bowden: Is Gordon in the Chamber?
Spank Sinatra: Yes Billy - the chamber pot
paulwaugh: Heckle of the Day. Lab MPs shout "Timber!" as PM says he not happy w forest sell-off policy.
John M Ward: I think that whatever ends up happening with forests, Cameron is lumbered with the eventual decision...
genghiz the khan: Is Hazel doing her own signs for the deaf?
Dick Scratcher: Cable discussing the 2.30 at Chepstow
The Enormous Community: The Big Society isn't Big enough for Pickles
Dick Scratcher: She takes up two postcodes
journodave: Theresa May appears to be wearing your nan's curtains from 1973
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: More Banker Bashing Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
An average session today with Red Ed going for the "Big Society" angle of attack which got Cameron a little hot under the collar as did some of his back bencher questions. However, where credit is due, Red Ed made a reference to McRuin with:
#tiewatch
Dick the Prick: Yellow, Blue, Green - how sweet
John M Ward: Yellow, blue and green ties. Iain Martin will wish to be aware of this...
Dorian Smith: Clegg's tie yellow, Cameron Blue, will Red Ed complete the set? He'll probably have a blank tie.
Praguetory: George doing blue collar
Steve Miliband: Iain Martin;same suit/tie combo
MrHarryCole: Clegg gone for old school yellow. What is this? April 2010? #tiewatch [via Twitter]
Urban Tory: good ties can be used two days in a row, either that or it is a walk of shame
John M Ward: Hmm. Mili's tie *almost* works with that shirt & jacket...
iainmartinwsj: Right, made it to PMQs. I don't... believe... it... Cameron wearing same dark blue tie white shirt again. [via Twitter]
iainmartinwsj: Osborne looking better this week. Single colour tie, but matches it with powder blue shirt. And he's finally had a haircut. #pmqs [via Twitter]
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Poisoned apple)
#tuscantonylinguaphone
"Morgon, slickande människor..." (Svenska)
sentence substitute
a conventional expression of greeting or farewell used in the morning LiveChat
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Anglian TV weather man in public gallery
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s Toyota has just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: "Argie Bhaji" - an Argentinian Indian-style veggie dish
#bestline
The Enormous Community: Pickles has lured Clegg to the Pie Side of the Force
#highlights
Spank Sinatra: Morning seat sniffers
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes Big Ben
Tuscan Tony: Morgon, slickande människor...
Urban Tory: Does anyone else think bashing your banker should be new slang for having a w***?
Dick Scratcher: What about Bishop Bashing? Why do they have a seat in the Lords FFS?
John M Ward: "Argie Bhaji" - an Argentinian Indian-style veggie dish
Urban Tory: Argie Bhaji, isn't that Tevez's contract negotiations?
Steve Miliband: Osborne twatted Balls yesterday
Spank Sinatra: Nope - I think Osborne has been on the ketamine again
no longer anonymous: osborne now doing an eeyore impression
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s Toyota has just died.
John: "No Mr Balls, I expect you to die!"
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Anglian TV weather man in public gallery
Steve Miliband: Ed miliband will demand more vending machines in the sixth form common room
no longer anonymous: whoa, beetroot face
Dick the Prick: Blood pressure seems a bit high on this fellow
Beware of Geeks: Quite a red face - worthy of a Pantone of itself
Spank Sinatra: F*** me - he could explode at any moment - stand back
Bled White Taxpayer: Bit red-faced: too much vino collapso
Dick Scratcher: Hammond playing his organ - Chopin 5th I think
Dick Scratcher: Big Hairy B*****ks Society – which street in Camberwick Green does Dismal Dave live in?
BillyBob: seagull has splattered on Red Eggs hair
Tuscan Tony: Billy: it's the finger mark left by the person who spray painted his head.
MrHarryCole: Cheer up Nick, you could still be a nobody oppostion leader [via Twitter]
Tuscan Tony: CHarities = state funded quangoes stuffed with leftie placemen.
John M Ward: Is that a merrkat on Ed's left? Oh no, it's wee Dougie...
CHUTNEY: there is no big society in Dudley, just a zoo, a castle and a rubbish market
Dorian Smith: Red Ed turning into pepe le pew, without the charm
WoRaft: I think I'd rather see them mud wrestling.
Dick Scratcher: Libraries full of tramps & alkys
no longer anonymous: it's not like dave pikey goes to the library every week to borrow a book
Paulo: No way - her jaw can pick pickled onions out of a jar!
Dick Scratcher: Big Society = Major's Cones Hotline
Beware of Geeks: We should have more KFC and MacDonalds - it'll make it a Big Society
Urban Tory: does LauraK watch PMQs from the gallery?
Beware of Geeks: @Urban Tory - through red rose tinted specs no doubt
Dick Scratcher: Midwives at your cervix
John M Ward: Large girth! Too many lamb Chops in Chope...
Dorian Smith: BBC: "Working for the re-election of the Labour Party - this is what we do".
no longer anonymous: wales? isn't that a giant zoo?
Urban Tory: yeah 7,000,000 sheep. Its more of a Game reserve
Rog: Shouldn't Bercow be lurking under a bridge somewhere, waiting for passing goats?
The Anglo Saxon: Whats Mum from Shameless doing on the front bench ?
The Enormous Community: Pickles has lured Clegg to the Pie Side of the Force
Tuscan Tony: Odd Labour hate rugby with an odd shaped Balls as a shadow chancellor
no longer anonymous: labour must want to ban polo
Rog: Certain Labourites love croquet, though I seem to remember...
Dorian Smith: Angela Smith in bargain jacket from C&A 1985
Ed But Look Balls: Billericay Dicky!
WoRaft: Regulate the dogging sites; pay 'n' display.
Tuscan Tony: Harry is here to make Guido look slim and sexy.
Guido Fawkes: Oi
Ed But Look Balls: Two Oily Vaz Deferens in the HoC!
Dorian Smith: Priti not in pink, going for the adam and the ants look
An average session today with Red Ed going for the "Big Society" angle of attack which got Cameron a little hot under the collar as did some of his back bencher questions. However, where credit is due, Red Ed made a reference to McRuin with:
"He should not be so angry, it will cloud his judgement. And that's not the first Prime Minister I've said that to"
#tiewatch
Dick the Prick: Yellow, Blue, Green - how sweet
John M Ward: Yellow, blue and green ties. Iain Martin will wish to be aware of this...
Dorian Smith: Clegg's tie yellow, Cameron Blue, will Red Ed complete the set? He'll probably have a blank tie.
Praguetory: George doing blue collar
Steve Miliband: Iain Martin;same suit/tie combo
MrHarryCole: Clegg gone for old school yellow. What is this? April 2010? #tiewatch [via Twitter]
Urban Tory: good ties can be used two days in a row, either that or it is a walk of shame
John M Ward: Hmm. Mili's tie *almost* works with that shirt & jacket...
iainmartinwsj: Right, made it to PMQs. I don't... believe... it... Cameron wearing same dark blue tie white shirt again. [via Twitter]
iainmartinwsj: Osborne looking better this week. Single colour tie, but matches it with powder blue shirt. And he's finally had a haircut. #pmqs [via Twitter]
#hainpantone
Dick Scratcher: Hain Pantone Reference : 815B (Poisoned apple)
#tuscantonylinguaphone
"Morgon, slickande människor..." (Svenska)
sentence substitute
a conventional expression of greeting or farewell used in the morning LiveChat
#celebwatch
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Anglian TV weather man in public gallery
#latest
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s Toyota has just died.
#bestpun
John M Ward: "Argie Bhaji" - an Argentinian Indian-style veggie dish
#bestline
The Enormous Community: Pickles has lured Clegg to the Pie Side of the Force
#highlights
Spank Sinatra: Morning seat sniffers
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes Big Ben
Tuscan Tony: Morgon, slickande människor...
Urban Tory: Does anyone else think bashing your banker should be new slang for having a w***?
Dick Scratcher: What about Bishop Bashing? Why do they have a seat in the Lords FFS?
John M Ward: "Argie Bhaji" - an Argentinian Indian-style veggie dish
Urban Tory: Argie Bhaji, isn't that Tevez's contract negotiations?
Steve Miliband: Osborne twatted Balls yesterday
Spank Sinatra: Nope - I think Osborne has been on the ketamine again
no longer anonymous: osborne now doing an eeyore impression
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s Toyota has just died.
John: "No Mr Balls, I expect you to die!"
Dick Scratcher: CELEB WATCH: Anglian TV weather man in public gallery
Steve Miliband: Ed miliband will demand more vending machines in the sixth form common room
no longer anonymous: whoa, beetroot face
Dick the Prick: Blood pressure seems a bit high on this fellow
Beware of Geeks: Quite a red face - worthy of a Pantone of itself
Spank Sinatra: F*** me - he could explode at any moment - stand back
Bled White Taxpayer: Bit red-faced: too much vino collapso
Dick Scratcher: Hammond playing his organ - Chopin 5th I think
Dick Scratcher: Big Hairy B*****ks Society – which street in Camberwick Green does Dismal Dave live in?
BillyBob: seagull has splattered on Red Eggs hair
Tuscan Tony: Billy: it's the finger mark left by the person who spray painted his head.
MrHarryCole: Cheer up Nick, you could still be a nobody oppostion leader [via Twitter]
Tuscan Tony: CHarities = state funded quangoes stuffed with leftie placemen.
John M Ward: Is that a merrkat on Ed's left? Oh no, it's wee Dougie...
CHUTNEY: there is no big society in Dudley, just a zoo, a castle and a rubbish market
Dorian Smith: Red Ed turning into pepe le pew, without the charm
WoRaft: I think I'd rather see them mud wrestling.
Dick Scratcher: Libraries full of tramps & alkys
no longer anonymous: it's not like dave pikey goes to the library every week to borrow a book
Paulo: No way - her jaw can pick pickled onions out of a jar!
Dick Scratcher: Big Society = Major's Cones Hotline
Beware of Geeks: We should have more KFC and MacDonalds - it'll make it a Big Society
Urban Tory: does LauraK watch PMQs from the gallery?
Beware of Geeks: @Urban Tory - through red rose tinted specs no doubt
Dick Scratcher: Midwives at your cervix
John M Ward: Large girth! Too many lamb Chops in Chope...
Dorian Smith: BBC: "Working for the re-election of the Labour Party - this is what we do".
no longer anonymous: wales? isn't that a giant zoo?
Urban Tory: yeah 7,000,000 sheep. Its more of a Game reserve
Rog: Shouldn't Bercow be lurking under a bridge somewhere, waiting for passing goats?
The Anglo Saxon: Whats Mum from Shameless doing on the front bench ?
The Enormous Community: Pickles has lured Clegg to the Pie Side of the Force
Tuscan Tony: Odd Labour hate rugby with an odd shaped Balls as a shadow chancellor
no longer anonymous: labour must want to ban polo
Rog: Certain Labourites love croquet, though I seem to remember...
Dorian Smith: Angela Smith in bargain jacket from C&A 1985
Ed But Look Balls: Billericay Dicky!
WoRaft: Regulate the dogging sites; pay 'n' display.
Tuscan Tony: Harry is here to make Guido look slim and sexy.
Guido Fawkes: Oi
Ed But Look Balls: Two Oily Vaz Deferens in the HoC!
Dorian Smith: Priti not in pink, going for the adam and the ants look
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Don’t Mention Manufacturing Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers (or as Tuscan Tony likes to call us: fenestral slaverers or for the Latin scholars, lingua fenestras) gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Rather dull with RedEd and Cam trying to outdo each other in the "who can be the better statesman" department rather than the more entertaining bun fight we look forward too.
Lots of Dodgy Ties of the Week this session with blue being the satorial choice of many:
Thanks as always to Dick Scratcher with his Hain Pantone Reference, a rather cheeky 815B (Tonto’s cock)
Pun of the Week's runner up is PunMeister himself John M Ward with:
but today's winner has to be Steve Miliband with a very clever:
Best line of the Week runner up went to Tuscan Tony for:
but newcomer equity abhors a maxim has it with a topical:
Here are the highlights:-
Steve Miliband: Devine intervention
Tuscan Tony: Morning lingua fenestras, as we latin Skolars say.
Dick the Prick: Fabricant looking beautifully bouffant
Steve Miliband: Polycephaly is a condition of having more than one Ed
Creamwhitebone: Ed has a grape behind him and an orange on his right....any more fruit?
Dick the Prick: Ed's taking lessons from Mubarak
Tuscan Tony: Ed's self interested, has a surprise honeymoon hol to Sharm el Sheik booked
Tuscan Tony: 25 consular staff with beach toowels and snorkels.
Dick Scratcher: Harman wants milking til she moos
Tuscan Tony: Ed should ask how many mummies have appeared on ebay so far, and has Cherie bid for any?
Steve Miliband: Where's Harrison Ford when you need him.
Ed But Look Balls: Ed's last question will be "Dave have you a biggun"!!
John M Ward: Dazza: Ed can never look more than "New Statesman"-like ;-)
no longer anonymous: i would have maximum respect for bercow if he got up and said "this really is a load of boring s***"
Beware of Geeks: Clegg looks strained
Dick the Prick: @BoG - sphincter issues
Tuscan Tony: Has Ed been bought and paid for by the Tories?
Steve Miliband: Maths, Physics, lunch, history, english, prep. That's your timetable Ed
Dorian Smith: Couple of Labour backbenchers spotted playing battleships, it's that boring
Tankus: milibands mother is in the gallery perhaps ...want to impress
Spank Sinatra: Hain's just cracked one off
glenoglaza: #pmqs peace breaks out at PMQs. Miliband under-arm bowling on Egypt & Afghanistan. Interesting tactic
Dick Scratcher: Bring back Geoffrey Howe FFFFFFS
Tuscan Tony: Bring back the dead sheep, Scratcher
no longer anonymous: and now on to pakistan - it's like a world tour
Beware of Geeks: Harman looked like she just sucked a lemon
Beware of Geeks: ...which is the nickname she calls her husband I believe
no longer anonymous: that guy certainly looks like his parents share the same parents
Tuscan Tony: I see twelve fingers and the marks of a banjo string.
Dorian Smith: East anglia - "High sixes"
MrHarryCole: Why did Vernon get a big cheer? Is it happy hour? Has he relaxed his door policy?
Spank Sinatra: Nipples like chapel hat pegs
Steve Miliband: Scammel Wheel nuts
Tuscan Tony: They could all become caddies on the excellent Royal St Georges.
equity abhors a maxim: Kent's been Pfizted!
Charlie: Cabbage pickers of Kent unite!
Dick Scratcher: Nadine likes flames licking up her chimney
MrHarryCole: RT @craigawoodhouse: Even a question about Viagra makers Pfizer can't pep this PMQs up. Very quiet session.
no longer anonymous: i didn't realise the welsh were allowed to vote
potemkin: PMQs don't mention adultery edition
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s hard drive has just died.
Beware of Geeks: A cunning plan Baldry
Tuscan Tony: Support fo the mentally ill, Dave, like the ex-PM?
John M Ward: Zac at the back!
Spank Sinatra: Yes - free polo horses for fish
Double Dip: Pfizer's viagra job cuts won't be geting the growth up for Georgie
Govt-by-Cluster-F***: balls practising his "Gordoom glower"
Dick Scratcher: Lord Strathclyde likes diving
Trinny: parachute company in freefall
John M Ward: "Oliver healed". Well, that's good news ;-)
Spank Sinatra: Think it would be more fun sticking a glass of wasps up my arse frankly
no longer anonymous: privatise the forests just to annoy labour
Steve Miliband: Leaf it out
Rather dull with RedEd and Cam trying to outdo each other in the "who can be the better statesman" department rather than the more entertaining bun fight we look forward too.
Lots of Dodgy Ties of the Week this session with blue being the satorial choice of many:
John M Ward: Dave has a *light* blue tie this week...
Billy Bowden: Clegg wearing a pink tie , and a pink minger behind him
Billy Bowden: Hains tie is brighter than his skin !!!
Spank Sinatra: Blue ties must be on a BOGOF this week
Beware of Geeks: Sort your tie out Kris
Thanks as always to Dick Scratcher with his Hain Pantone Reference, a rather cheeky 815B (Tonto’s cock)
Pun of the Week's runner up is PunMeister himself John M Ward with:
John M Ward: "Oliver healed". Well, that's good news ;-)
but today's winner has to be Steve Miliband with a very clever:
Steve Miliband: Polycephaly is a condition of having more than one Ed
Best line of the Week runner up went to Tuscan Tony for:
Tuscan Tony: I see twelve fingers and the marks of a banjo string.
but newcomer equity abhors a maxim has it with a topical:
equity abhors a maxim: Kent's been Pfizted!
Here are the highlights:-
Steve Miliband: Devine intervention
Tuscan Tony: Morning lingua fenestras, as we latin Skolars say.
Dick the Prick: Fabricant looking beautifully bouffant
Steve Miliband: Polycephaly is a condition of having more than one Ed
Creamwhitebone: Ed has a grape behind him and an orange on his right....any more fruit?
Dick the Prick: Ed's taking lessons from Mubarak
Tuscan Tony: Ed's self interested, has a surprise honeymoon hol to Sharm el Sheik booked
Tuscan Tony: 25 consular staff with beach toowels and snorkels.
Dick Scratcher: Harman wants milking til she moos
Tuscan Tony: Ed should ask how many mummies have appeared on ebay so far, and has Cherie bid for any?
Steve Miliband: Where's Harrison Ford when you need him.
Ed But Look Balls: Ed's last question will be "Dave have you a biggun"!!
John M Ward: Dazza: Ed can never look more than "New Statesman"-like ;-)
no longer anonymous: i would have maximum respect for bercow if he got up and said "this really is a load of boring s***"
Beware of Geeks: Clegg looks strained
Dick the Prick: @BoG - sphincter issues
Tuscan Tony: Has Ed been bought and paid for by the Tories?
Steve Miliband: Maths, Physics, lunch, history, english, prep. That's your timetable Ed
Dorian Smith: Couple of Labour backbenchers spotted playing battleships, it's that boring
Tankus: milibands mother is in the gallery perhaps ...want to impress
Spank Sinatra: Hain's just cracked one off
glenoglaza: #pmqs peace breaks out at PMQs. Miliband under-arm bowling on Egypt & Afghanistan. Interesting tactic
Dick Scratcher: Bring back Geoffrey Howe FFFFFFS
Tuscan Tony: Bring back the dead sheep, Scratcher
no longer anonymous: and now on to pakistan - it's like a world tour
Beware of Geeks: Harman looked like she just sucked a lemon
Beware of Geeks: ...which is the nickname she calls her husband I believe
no longer anonymous: that guy certainly looks like his parents share the same parents
Tuscan Tony: I see twelve fingers and the marks of a banjo string.
Dorian Smith: East anglia - "High sixes"
MrHarryCole: Why did Vernon get a big cheer? Is it happy hour? Has he relaxed his door policy?
Spank Sinatra: Nipples like chapel hat pegs
Steve Miliband: Scammel Wheel nuts
Tuscan Tony: They could all become caddies on the excellent Royal St Georges.
equity abhors a maxim: Kent's been Pfizted!
Charlie: Cabbage pickers of Kent unite!
Dick Scratcher: Nadine likes flames licking up her chimney
MrHarryCole: RT @craigawoodhouse: Even a question about Viagra makers Pfizer can't pep this PMQs up. Very quiet session.
no longer anonymous: i didn't realise the welsh were allowed to vote
potemkin: PMQs don't mention adultery edition
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s hard drive has just died.
Beware of Geeks: A cunning plan Baldry
Tuscan Tony: Support fo the mentally ill, Dave, like the ex-PM?
John M Ward: Zac at the back!
Spank Sinatra: Yes - free polo horses for fish
Double Dip: Pfizer's viagra job cuts won't be geting the growth up for Georgie
Govt-by-Cluster-F***: balls practising his "Gordoom glower"
Dick Scratcher: Lord Strathclyde likes diving
Trinny: parachute company in freefall
John M Ward: "Oliver healed". Well, that's good news ;-)
Spank Sinatra: Think it would be more fun sticking a glass of wasps up my arse frankly
no longer anonymous: privatise the forests just to annoy labour
Steve Miliband: Leaf it out
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: "Negative Growth" Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers (or as Tuscan Tony likes to call us: fenestral slaverers – nice one!) gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Quite a good one today with Cameron on fiery form and RedEd inevitably playing the Coulson joker which Cameron batted away with some ease.
Lots of Dodgy Ties of the Week this session and the unusual situation of having so many MPs having ties with various strange hues of green:
Thanks as always to Dick Scratcher with his Hain Pantone Reference:
Pun of the Week is awarded to PunMeister Special John M Ward when referring to Labour's Elizabeth Truss for:
Although Tuscan Tony almost pipped the post with his pun aimed at Labour's Hot Totty, Stella Creasy:
Best line of the Week goes to Dick Scratcher with the outrageously five fingered shuffled:
Here are the highlights:-
Dick Scratcher: Nice tie toenails !!!
Dick Scratcher: ...my daughter has a pair of knickers that pattern
Tuscan Tony: Morning fenestral slaverers
John M Ward: Howdy gang. Earwig-o again!
Dick Scratcher: Is it “sexistismistic” to state that I would like to shoot my fat all over Caroline Flint’s face?
Genghiz the Kahn: flint looks like a giraffe.
jgm2: @Ghengiz - looking like a giraffe is Harman's job.
Ed But Look Balls: Flint's Fat Fighs on view!
Dick the Prick: Balls looking tres smug. Ian got the strap-on again this morning?
John M Ward: What is that strange pattern on Caroline Flint's top/dress? Reminds me of something from a Horror Channel trailer...
Tuscan Tony: Flinty: she should be a footie linesgirl.
Beware of Geeks: First dig at Balls
Tuscan Tony: scratch rather than dig, BoG
stormforce: Did Gordon throw tippexth on rEd's head?
Dick the Prick: Ed looks very smart - his mum will be proud. Musn't be late for tea though - fish fingers tonight
Tuscan Tony: Economy was growing because you borrowed £ 300bn. Fantasist.
joolzg: golden inheritence, good one
Beware of Geeks: Balls... a face and look you never tire of punching
the money shot: the four letter C word-------CUTS
John M Ward: Ed'th thurprithed...
Tuscan Tony: I have to laugh: the two Eds- woudl it be possible to choose two more hilarious muppets?
Dick Scratcher: Better to quote Dickie Davies - "And now the wrestling..."
obangobang: Oh dear. He's fired the Coulson bazooka and it blew up in his face.
Joe T: Ed's just been shadow chancelowned
Govt-By-Cluster-F***: Balls has got that "Gordon" look
JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: just opened a bottle of Courage Directors ----Moats Moggy
Beware of Geeks: I wonder if we could have a PMQs where ever time a question isn't answered Esther McVey takes an item of clothing off
Tuscan Tony: BoG: or Harriet puts another bag over her head.
Beware of Geeks: I would bring back Gordon to ensure all clothes are removed by the eigth question
John M Ward: Back on track now, with a Geordie glottle-stopper...
John M Ward: "In the interest of furrness" ??
John M Ward: Coo! Those are big beads around her neck. Perhaps it's a form of truss...
Tuscan Tony: Pearl necklace, John Ward
Dorian Smith: "Is that Clare Short's sister?" - could be her stunt double
John M Ward: "Clare Short" "stunt double". If that Short, more like a stunted double...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s tortoise has just died.
JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: IF THEY ARE IN A CARE HOME WHY DO THE NEED A MOBILITY ALLOWANCE FOR A CAR ETC
jgm2: @JulianBray - because the Labour councillor's brother runs the local Mobility franchise.
Urban Tory: looks like she's got Bagpuss on her head
Beware of Geeks: I've found Mrs Slocombe's pussy!
the last quango in paris: the speaker is sounding more and more like the bloke from bullseye
Dick Scratcher: LATEST : The BBC are launching a political game show in Spring. Contestants Martin Sorrell, Gerry Robinson, Jonathan Powell, Martin Amis and Christopher Meyer will compete to establish which one of them is anatomically furthest up their own arse.
iainmartinwsj: That Osborne shirt today is an absolute stinker. One of his spads needs to take charge of Chancellors wardrobe, and get him a haircut
Jolly Roger: Stella Creasy? I prefer Atella Artois
Tuscan Tony: Stella can have a pint of mine.
Dick Scratcher: Blackpool...full of slags. (Not complaining)
Dick Scratcher: Does she live under a bridge?
Quite a good one today with Cameron on fiery form and RedEd inevitably playing the Coulson joker which Cameron batted away with some ease.
Lots of Dodgy Ties of the Week this session and the unusual situation of having so many MPs having ties with various strange hues of green:
Dick Scratcher: Nice tie toenails !!!
Dick Scratcher: ...my daughter has a pair of knickers that pattern
JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: Loads of Blue ties on the COALITION front bench
John M Ward: Lavender tie on Ed-M...
JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: purple tie pretentions of lordship
John M Ward: Interesting colour (green) tie...
iainmartinwsj: Bad shirt/tie combo from Ed Balls, pale lilac tie with pale lilacish shirt shld be a non-starter. Philip Hammond properly dressed BTW
Thanks as always to Dick Scratcher with his Hain Pantone Reference:
Hain Pantone Reference : 819G (Punkawalla Piri Piri)
Pun of the Week is awarded to PunMeister Special John M Ward when referring to Labour's Elizabeth Truss for:
John M Ward: Coo! Those are big beads around her neck. Perhaps it's a form of truss...
Although Tuscan Tony almost pipped the post with his pun aimed at Labour's Hot Totty, Stella Creasy:
Tuscan Tony: Stella can have a pint of mine.
Best line of the Week goes to Dick Scratcher with the outrageously five fingered shuffled:
Dick Scratcher: Is it “sexistismistic” to state that I would like to shoot my fat all over Caroline Flint’s face?
Here are the highlights:-
Dick Scratcher: Nice tie toenails !!!
Dick Scratcher: ...my daughter has a pair of knickers that pattern
Tuscan Tony: Morning fenestral slaverers
John M Ward: Howdy gang. Earwig-o again!
Dick Scratcher: Is it “sexistismistic” to state that I would like to shoot my fat all over Caroline Flint’s face?
Genghiz the Kahn: flint looks like a giraffe.
jgm2: @Ghengiz - looking like a giraffe is Harman's job.
Ed But Look Balls: Flint's Fat Fighs on view!
Dick the Prick: Balls looking tres smug. Ian got the strap-on again this morning?
John M Ward: What is that strange pattern on Caroline Flint's top/dress? Reminds me of something from a Horror Channel trailer...
Tuscan Tony: Flinty: she should be a footie linesgirl.
Beware of Geeks: First dig at Balls
Tuscan Tony: scratch rather than dig, BoG
stormforce: Did Gordon throw tippexth on rEd's head?
Dick the Prick: Ed looks very smart - his mum will be proud. Musn't be late for tea though - fish fingers tonight
Tuscan Tony: Economy was growing because you borrowed £ 300bn. Fantasist.
joolzg: golden inheritence, good one
Beware of Geeks: Balls... a face and look you never tire of punching
the money shot: the four letter C word-------CUTS
John M Ward: Ed'th thurprithed...
Tuscan Tony: I have to laugh: the two Eds- woudl it be possible to choose two more hilarious muppets?
Dick Scratcher: Better to quote Dickie Davies - "And now the wrestling..."
obangobang: Oh dear. He's fired the Coulson bazooka and it blew up in his face.
Joe T: Ed's just been shadow chancelowned
Govt-By-Cluster-F***: Balls has got that "Gordon" look
JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: just opened a bottle of Courage Directors ----Moats Moggy
Beware of Geeks: I wonder if we could have a PMQs where ever time a question isn't answered Esther McVey takes an item of clothing off
Tuscan Tony: BoG: or Harriet puts another bag over her head.
Beware of Geeks: I would bring back Gordon to ensure all clothes are removed by the eigth question
John M Ward: Back on track now, with a Geordie glottle-stopper...
John M Ward: "In the interest of furrness" ??
John M Ward: Coo! Those are big beads around her neck. Perhaps it's a form of truss...
Tuscan Tony: Pearl necklace, John Ward
Dorian Smith: "Is that Clare Short's sister?" - could be her stunt double
John M Ward: "Clare Short" "stunt double". If that Short, more like a stunted double...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s tortoise has just died.
JULIANBRAY DUCKHOUSE: IF THEY ARE IN A CARE HOME WHY DO THE NEED A MOBILITY ALLOWANCE FOR A CAR ETC
jgm2: @JulianBray - because the Labour councillor's brother runs the local Mobility franchise.
Urban Tory: looks like she's got Bagpuss on her head
Beware of Geeks: I've found Mrs Slocombe's pussy!
the last quango in paris: the speaker is sounding more and more like the bloke from bullseye
Dick Scratcher: LATEST : The BBC are launching a political game show in Spring. Contestants Martin Sorrell, Gerry Robinson, Jonathan Powell, Martin Amis and Christopher Meyer will compete to establish which one of them is anatomically furthest up their own arse.
iainmartinwsj: That Osborne shirt today is an absolute stinker. One of his spads needs to take charge of Chancellors wardrobe, and get him a haircut
Jolly Roger: Stella Creasy? I prefer Atella Artois
Tuscan Tony: Stella can have a pint of mine.
Dick Scratcher: Blackpool...full of slags. (Not complaining)
Dick Scratcher: Does she live under a bridge?
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Fags and Booze for All Editional
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the windowlickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
A much more lively event this time round with RedEd splitting his questions between the recently announced unemployment figures and the NHS. Dave was on much better form this time and was quick on his feet to pretty much wipe the floor with RedEd's questions. However, there is a noticeable McRuin trait which Dave is adopting: the lack of a direct answer to a question.
Once again big thanks to our print specialist Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 814B (Paisley’s Sash) but Steve Miliband pre-empted with "Letwin Red" but failed to provide an allocated number.
Dodgy Tie of the Week had a couple of contributors with our ever watchful sartorial spy Tiewatcher and an eagle eyed John Ward:
There was no Labour Parody of the Week unless you counted Michael White's Haw Haw like gibberish on Twitter and as one windowlicker stated, it's funny how Michael White never commented on the fact that McRuin never used to answer a question. Quite.
Pun of the Week is awarded as usual to the groanmaster himself John Ward with the excellent effort of:
Dick Scratcher wins the Line with the Most Profanities targeted at Bercow's rather whimsical anecdote when trying to quieten the house:
And the Best Line of the Week was shared with a classic old one-two play to use football parlance between Dick Scratcher and no longer anonymous:
Here are the highlights:-
Praguetory: Mithker Thpeaker complathenthy
nabidana.com: It's not a lisp. It's idiocy escaping through the sides of his moronic mouth
Dick Scratcher: The Elephant Man gave him elocution lessons
Guest: Thirteen years to f*** it up, eight months to sort it out.
Dorian Smith: Today's labour trolls are sponsored by PennyRed's researcher, they are obviously flush with cash.
nabidana.com: Is Red Ed wearing a retainer?
Steve Miliband: Rumble in the jungle of oldham
no longer anonymous: osborne on mushrooms
nabidana: Osborne looks like he's going to hurl
Spank Sinatra: Ed - I'll have a coffee, one sugar and just a dash of milk please .....
Spank Sinatra: Pickles looks like he has that final wafer thin mint and is set to explode
no longer anonymous: has pickles eaten miliband?
Dick Scratcher: Chris Bryant likes night sticks
Spank Sinatra: Mr Y-fronts
Praguetory: More panto
Dick Scratcher: Triumph Sodomite
guidofawkes: Ooh get her #pmqs [via Twitter]
Dick the Prick: New Jersey just sacked half its coppers - it started in America after all.
obangobang: Brazier's on fire!! Sorry, I'll get my coat.
John M Ward: Yes, Steve: Brazier always brings the burning issues to the House!
Steve Miliband: Brazier's career will go up in smoke
Billy Bowden: Shut up Bercow !!!!!!
Dick Scratcher: F*** off Berc***
Spank Sinatra: Stand up Bercow
no longer anonymous: mithter thpeaker, can i have an ethtenthion on my homework?
Spank Sinatra: Harpic looks as though she can smell a disaster
Dr Bombastic: who stole Hattie's breasts?
Labour bankrupted the UK: Hey Ed, how long is a piece of string...
no longer anonymous: like a younger john major without the charisma
Dick Scratcher: Blunkett's dog had that leg for lunch
Dick Scratcher: ...or maybe Eric Pickles ate it?
no longer anonymous: pickles, dislocate your jaw and prepare to swallow
nabidana: Sir Peter Tapsell, AKA Young Mr Grace. 'You're all doing very well'.
Dorian Smith: Goodman for next Miss Marple
nabidana: From behind, in the dark, she looks like Darth Vader.
Praguetory: Who cut her hair?
Billy Bowden: David blunkett?
no longer anonymous: david blunkett's dog
no longer anonymous: pickles looks enraged
concrete pump: I think you'll find that's 'engorged'.
Beware of Geeks: Pickles looks like he's hatching a large Ginsters
Wavy Davy: Eric Pickles ate blunkett's dog.
Spank Sinatra: Possibly the most boring man in the world?
John M Ward: Just woken up: what was that question?
Spank Sinatra: Imagine being stuck beside him on a long-haul flight
John M Ward: Not so much (Naomi) Long as Wide!
obangobang: A cunning plan, Baldry?
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s id has just died.
John M Ward: Re joncraig's tweet just now: there's no fool like an old Foulkes...
no longer anonymous: michael white is satan's way of annoying humanity
A much more lively event this time round with RedEd splitting his questions between the recently announced unemployment figures and the NHS. Dave was on much better form this time and was quick on his feet to pretty much wipe the floor with RedEd's questions. However, there is a noticeable McRuin trait which Dave is adopting: the lack of a direct answer to a question.
Once again big thanks to our print specialist Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 814B (Paisley’s Sash) but Steve Miliband pre-empted with "Letwin Red" but failed to provide an allocated number.
Dodgy Tie of the Week had a couple of contributors with our ever watchful sartorial spy Tiewatcher and an eagle eyed John Ward:
Tiewatcher: assumed the Garrick tie was Ken Clarke, but clearly not
John M Ward: Pastel striped tie on Baldry.
Tiewatcher: Nice coalition tie from Birtwistle
There was no Labour Parody of the Week unless you counted Michael White's Haw Haw like gibberish on Twitter and as one windowlicker stated, it's funny how Michael White never commented on the fact that McRuin never used to answer a question. Quite.
Pun of the Week is awarded as usual to the groanmaster himself John Ward with the excellent effort of:
John M Ward: Yes, Steve: Brazier always brings the burning issues to the House!
Dick Scratcher wins the Line with the Most Profanities targeted at Bercow's rather whimsical anecdote when trying to quieten the house:
Dick Scratcher: F*** off Berc***
And the Best Line of the Week was shared with a classic old one-two play to use football parlance between Dick Scratcher and no longer anonymous:
Dick Scratcher: Blunkett's dog had that leg for lunch
Dick Scratcher: ...or maybe Eric Pickles ate it?
no longer anonymous: pickles, dislocate your jaw and prepare to swallow
Here are the highlights:-
Praguetory: Mithker Thpeaker complathenthy
nabidana.com: It's not a lisp. It's idiocy escaping through the sides of his moronic mouth
Dick Scratcher: The Elephant Man gave him elocution lessons
Guest: Thirteen years to f*** it up, eight months to sort it out.
Dorian Smith: Today's labour trolls are sponsored by PennyRed's researcher, they are obviously flush with cash.
nabidana.com: Is Red Ed wearing a retainer?
Steve Miliband: Rumble in the jungle of oldham
no longer anonymous: osborne on mushrooms
nabidana: Osborne looks like he's going to hurl
Spank Sinatra: Ed - I'll have a coffee, one sugar and just a dash of milk please .....
Spank Sinatra: Pickles looks like he has that final wafer thin mint and is set to explode
no longer anonymous: has pickles eaten miliband?
Dick Scratcher: Chris Bryant likes night sticks
Spank Sinatra: Mr Y-fronts
Praguetory: More panto
Dick Scratcher: Triumph Sodomite
guidofawkes: Ooh get her #pmqs [via Twitter]
Dick the Prick: New Jersey just sacked half its coppers - it started in America after all.
obangobang: Brazier's on fire!! Sorry, I'll get my coat.
John M Ward: Yes, Steve: Brazier always brings the burning issues to the House!
Steve Miliband: Brazier's career will go up in smoke
Billy Bowden: Shut up Bercow !!!!!!
Dick Scratcher: F*** off Berc***
Spank Sinatra: Stand up Bercow
no longer anonymous: mithter thpeaker, can i have an ethtenthion on my homework?
Spank Sinatra: Harpic looks as though she can smell a disaster
Dr Bombastic: who stole Hattie's breasts?
Labour bankrupted the UK: Hey Ed, how long is a piece of string...
no longer anonymous: like a younger john major without the charisma
Dick Scratcher: Blunkett's dog had that leg for lunch
Dick Scratcher: ...or maybe Eric Pickles ate it?
no longer anonymous: pickles, dislocate your jaw and prepare to swallow
nabidana: Sir Peter Tapsell, AKA Young Mr Grace. 'You're all doing very well'.
Dorian Smith: Goodman for next Miss Marple
nabidana: From behind, in the dark, she looks like Darth Vader.
Praguetory: Who cut her hair?
Billy Bowden: David blunkett?
no longer anonymous: david blunkett's dog
no longer anonymous: pickles looks enraged
concrete pump: I think you'll find that's 'engorged'.
Beware of Geeks: Pickles looks like he's hatching a large Ginsters
Wavy Davy: Eric Pickles ate blunkett's dog.
Spank Sinatra: Possibly the most boring man in the world?
John M Ward: Just woken up: what was that question?
Spank Sinatra: Imagine being stuck beside him on a long-haul flight
John M Ward: Not so much (Naomi) Long as Wide!
obangobang: A cunning plan, Baldry?
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s id has just died.
John M Ward: Re joncraig's tweet just now: there's no fool like an old Foulkes...
no longer anonymous: michael white is satan's way of annoying humanity
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Bonus Banker Bashing Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Once again big thanks to Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 813F (Jamie's Carrot Soup). A nice topical cameo appearance from Calamity Clegg as well!
Some Dodgy Tie comments for Labour's Nick Dakin from John Ward:
Other contributors:
Some Vulcan Watch news as John Redwood was mentioned:
Far stronger personal attacks from both sides of the house which raised a few eyebrows but overall a little dull.
Here are the highlights:-
Urban Tory: I will pay cash money for anyone who harass Harry
Nick Cleggs Right Foot: ready to kick a child!!
Dick Scratcher: Why does Brillo pretend he likes cricket ?????
Urban Tory: Because Scots love hitting balls with bats
Dick Scratcher: Where is Old Holborn these days???
Guido Fawkes: He watched V for Vendetta one too many times and went insane
Calamity Clegg: We shall not kick the Bankers when we can kick small children.
Calamity Clegg: Tough on tots, tough on the causes of tots.
Dick Scratcher: Julia Gillard likes it damp
Beware of Geeks: UT - Nick looks like his puppy has died
Urban Tory: BoG - It looks like he did it too
Rog: Clegg looking glummer than Prescott at a health farm..
Tuscan Tony: Why is there a sack of potatoes in a burnt orange carpet placed behind Dave?
Calamity Clegg: I will kick any talk of a Euro referendum into touch.
Tuscan Tony: Gloucester=concrete dunghill
Secret Lemonade Drinker: Osbourne needs a holiday somewhere hot. He's very pasty. Maybe Thailand with a few ladyboys?
John Ward: EdM's tie was a small splash of colour in an otherwise grey landscape.
Tuscan Tony: Is Ed getting his hair cut in stages?
John Ward: Alan Johnson making the noises and gestures, but he still doesn't understand his portfolio...
Tuscan Tony: Does the Tory web site have a gunsight targetted on the bankers?
Calamity Clegg: My father was a Banker you know. He used to kick fiscal responibility into me.
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: Milli will have to raise the game to a new level say 2 inches...
Urban Tory: what is Cwismas?
John Ward: UT: It comes after Thankthgiving...
Roger Thornhill: Has Johnson been at Hain's jar of plenty
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: Hey Gordon brown is in the house! Oh no its a gargoyle on the end of the bench
Steve Miliband: Buzz lightweight
obangobang: If councils don't close the roads, the TUC will.
Dorian Smith: Muddered - is he from Taggart?
Tuscan Tony: Woyal Wedding
Dorian Smith: Bernard jenkins got his mum to fix his tie.
Secret Lemonade Drinker: ALAN: IT'S GRIM UP NORTH LONDON.
Alan: Kenneth Clarke looks ready for lunch at Simpsons on The Strand
Beware of Geeks: Dinenage
Dick Scratcher: HOW!
weybridgeman: Osbourne's drugs are wearing off - he's just staring into the abyss now.
weybridgeman: Nick de Bois MP for Epping Forest - CLASSIC!
Calamity Clegg: Why should it be true, Dave.. that I get a Kick out of you
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes a big yellow chopper
Once again big thanks to Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 813F (Jamie's Carrot Soup). A nice topical cameo appearance from Calamity Clegg as well!
Some Dodgy Tie comments for Labour's Nick Dakin from John Ward:
Light pink tie on Nick Dakin...
Other contributors:
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: Clegg last Tie standing pop rating -9999%
Tiewatcher: Nice tie from Gloucester
Some Vulcan Watch news as John Redwood was mentioned:
Beware of Geeks: Vulcan alert
Urban Tory: Star Trek jokes are not cool Ed
John Ward: Vulcan alert? "Fascinating!"
Far stronger personal attacks from both sides of the house which raised a few eyebrows but overall a little dull.
Here are the highlights:-
Urban Tory: I will pay cash money for anyone who harass Harry
Nick Cleggs Right Foot: ready to kick a child!!
Dick Scratcher: Why does Brillo pretend he likes cricket ?????
Urban Tory: Because Scots love hitting balls with bats
Dick Scratcher: Where is Old Holborn these days???
Guido Fawkes: He watched V for Vendetta one too many times and went insane
Calamity Clegg: We shall not kick the Bankers when we can kick small children.
Calamity Clegg: Tough on tots, tough on the causes of tots.
Dick Scratcher: Julia Gillard likes it damp
Beware of Geeks: UT - Nick looks like his puppy has died
Urban Tory: BoG - It looks like he did it too
Rog: Clegg looking glummer than Prescott at a health farm..
Tuscan Tony: Why is there a sack of potatoes in a burnt orange carpet placed behind Dave?
Calamity Clegg: I will kick any talk of a Euro referendum into touch.
Tuscan Tony: Gloucester=concrete dunghill
Secret Lemonade Drinker: Osbourne needs a holiday somewhere hot. He's very pasty. Maybe Thailand with a few ladyboys?
John Ward: EdM's tie was a small splash of colour in an otherwise grey landscape.
Tuscan Tony: Is Ed getting his hair cut in stages?
John Ward: Alan Johnson making the noises and gestures, but he still doesn't understand his portfolio...
Tuscan Tony: Does the Tory web site have a gunsight targetted on the bankers?
Calamity Clegg: My father was a Banker you know. He used to kick fiscal responibility into me.
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: Milli will have to raise the game to a new level say 2 inches...
Urban Tory: what is Cwismas?
John Ward: UT: It comes after Thankthgiving...
Roger Thornhill: Has Johnson been at Hain's jar of plenty
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: Hey Gordon brown is in the house! Oh no its a gargoyle on the end of the bench
Steve Miliband: Buzz lightweight
obangobang: If councils don't close the roads, the TUC will.
Dorian Smith: Muddered - is he from Taggart?
Tuscan Tony: Woyal Wedding
Dorian Smith: Bernard jenkins got his mum to fix his tie.
Secret Lemonade Drinker: ALAN: IT'S GRIM UP NORTH LONDON.
Alan: Kenneth Clarke looks ready for lunch at Simpsons on The Strand
Beware of Geeks: Dinenage
Dick Scratcher: HOW!
weybridgeman: Osbourne's drugs are wearing off - he's just staring into the abyss now.
weybridgeman: Nick de Bois MP for Epping Forest - CLASSIC!
Calamity Clegg: Why should it be true, Dave.. that I get a Kick out of you
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes a big yellow chopper
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
Guido's PMQs Live - Football Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Once again big thanks to Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 814D (Snowman’s Nose) !
Labour Parody of the Week goes to Kim Jong-Il with
Spank Sinatra: See Ed has still got bird sh** on his head
Tuscan Tony: Morning Chakrabati-lickers.
John Ward: "To infantility (i.e. New Labour) and beyond!"
StretchMarx: Harman wearing the remains of last nights Moules a la Mariniere round her neck
John Ward: Who's this lady "Rosie Scenario"?
Dick Scratcher: Harperson = where the postman likes to empty his sack
Dick Scratcher: People listening on Radio 5 have been phoning in, asking why the elephant man is asking questions.
Guido Fawkes: "Rather be a child of Thatcher, than a son of Brown" killer.
Dick Scratcher: Calm down! Calm down!
Spank Sinatra: Hub cap thief
Dick Scratcher: Yiddipudlian
Praguetory: Scouse comics are out of fashion aren't they?
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes Olympic rings
Urban Tory: Is it me or has Hague got a bit of a Liberace tie on?
no longer anonymous: paisley is a time lord, he has re-generated
Sres: Son of Bwian!
Dorian Smith: Twitter twats are 5 mins behind FFS>>>>> some of the labour ones are still in the 70's
Spank Sinatra: Another bad advert for wigs
John Ward: "Reddish"? Ideal name for a Labour constituency ;-)
Beware of Geeks: Waking the Dead. One letter away from being the most controversial show on TV.
Tuscan Tony: Wan't thrombosis an early Pink Floyd album?
John Ward: I have safe sacks -- they never split whether for waste or recyclables.
Steve Miliband: Buzz Lightweight just turned into Buzz microlight
Once again big thanks to Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 814D (Snowman’s Nose) !
Labour Parody of the Week goes to Kim Jong-Il with
Ed grows in stature with every PMQ's. He ran Cameron ragged today. Cameron looked rather amateurTop line has to go to Cameron today with a much better performance than last time:
Rather be a child of Thatcher, than a son of BrownHere are the highights:
Spank Sinatra: See Ed has still got bird sh** on his head
Tuscan Tony: Morning Chakrabati-lickers.
John Ward: "To infantility (i.e. New Labour) and beyond!"
StretchMarx: Harman wearing the remains of last nights Moules a la Mariniere round her neck
John Ward: Who's this lady "Rosie Scenario"?
Dick Scratcher: Harperson = where the postman likes to empty his sack
Dick Scratcher: People listening on Radio 5 have been phoning in, asking why the elephant man is asking questions.
Guido Fawkes: "Rather be a child of Thatcher, than a son of Brown" killer.
Dick Scratcher: Calm down! Calm down!
Spank Sinatra: Hub cap thief
Dick Scratcher: Yiddipudlian
Praguetory: Scouse comics are out of fashion aren't they?
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes Olympic rings
Urban Tory: Is it me or has Hague got a bit of a Liberace tie on?
no longer anonymous: paisley is a time lord, he has re-generated
Sres: Son of Bwian!
Dorian Smith: Twitter twats are 5 mins behind FFS>>>>> some of the labour ones are still in the 70's
Spank Sinatra: Another bad advert for wigs
John Ward: "Reddish"? Ideal name for a Labour constituency ;-)
Beware of Geeks: Waking the Dead. One letter away from being the most controversial show on TV.
Tuscan Tony: Wan't thrombosis an early Pink Floyd album?
John Ward: I have safe sacks -- they never split whether for waste or recyclables.
Steve Miliband: Buzz Lightweight just turned into Buzz microlight
Thursday, 25 November 2010
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Miliback Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs.
Apologies for the delay, fellow WindowLickers - unfortunately work commitments reared their ugly head again.
Once again big thanks to Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 815A (Spaghettied Baby) !
John Ward wins the Best Line of the Day with:
Here are the highlights:
Dick Scratcher-Tebbitite: Houston…we have an arse hole
Billybob: Egg Milibund
Beware of Geeks: I've just made a 3D porn movie - that's one in the eye for the censors.
Dick Scratcher-Tebbitite: f*** off Vicks Sinex
Urban Tory: as if Ed is going on about sport, he was always picked last
Sarf of the River: Clegg affecting a rather smug bastard look
Dick Scratcher-Tebbitite: Red Ed = Adenoid android
Beware of Geeks: My ginger neighbour brought a hot bird home last night. Or Nando's as it's better known.
torybear: RT @joncraig: Theresa May has just poured the PM a glass of water. How loyal is that?Allo, allo! I will say zis only once!
John Ward: Blankety-blank page in Labour's policy eh? Wogan would be proud...
Billybob: Sweaty sock again !!
TimMontgomerie: Ken Clarke looking smug behind Cameron as the PM is asked by Bill Cash why govt hasn't repatriated powers from EU
John Ward: Yes, Ed's back - which is far less unattractive than Ed's front!
Sarf of the River: is my telly on the blink, it's gone all hithy
John Ward: The biggest bust? Is that the Maggie Thatcher one in CCHQ?
Rog: Is Ed actually transgendering as we watch? His voice is the giveaway.
John Ward: "He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his Labour land, making all his no-good plans, for Socialists"...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s penile warts have just died.
Dorian Smith: hattie's got a great moustache
Urban Tory: where does Vaz sit now?
Beware of Geeks: @Urban Tory - in a pot of Vaz-oline
Dick Scratcher: Berger - ding dong
Hugh Jardon: how much would you like to jizz all over her shakers??
Tuscan Tony: Bring Nigeria into the EU, send the British workshy there
Urban Tory: Liz Truss woof woof
Dick Scratcher: Liz Truss wants it this aft - on the desk
Apologies for the delay, fellow WindowLickers - unfortunately work commitments reared their ugly head again.
Once again big thanks to Dick Scratcher for Pantone Watch - this time a Hain Pantone Reference : 815A (Spaghettied Baby) !
John Ward wins the Best Line of the Day with:
"He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his Labour land, making all his no-good plans, for Socialists"...
Here are the highlights:
Dick Scratcher-Tebbitite: Houston…we have an arse hole
Billybob: Egg Milibund
Beware of Geeks: I've just made a 3D porn movie - that's one in the eye for the censors.
Dick Scratcher-Tebbitite: f*** off Vicks Sinex
Urban Tory: as if Ed is going on about sport, he was always picked last
Sarf of the River: Clegg affecting a rather smug bastard look
Dick Scratcher-Tebbitite: Red Ed = Adenoid android
Beware of Geeks: My ginger neighbour brought a hot bird home last night. Or Nando's as it's better known.
torybear: RT @joncraig: Theresa May has just poured the PM a glass of water. How loyal is that?Allo, allo! I will say zis only once!
John Ward: Blankety-blank page in Labour's policy eh? Wogan would be proud...
Billybob: Sweaty sock again !!
TimMontgomerie: Ken Clarke looking smug behind Cameron as the PM is asked by Bill Cash why govt hasn't repatriated powers from EU
John Ward: Yes, Ed's back - which is far less unattractive than Ed's front!
Sarf of the River: is my telly on the blink, it's gone all hithy
John Ward: The biggest bust? Is that the Maggie Thatcher one in CCHQ?
Rog: Is Ed actually transgendering as we watch? His voice is the giveaway.
John Ward: "He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his Labour land, making all his no-good plans, for Socialists"...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s penile warts have just died.
Dorian Smith: hattie's got a great moustache
Urban Tory: where does Vaz sit now?
Beware of Geeks: @Urban Tory - in a pot of Vaz-oline
Dick Scratcher: Berger - ding dong
Hugh Jardon: how much would you like to jizz all over her shakers??
Tuscan Tony: Bring Nigeria into the EU, send the British workshy there
Urban Tory: Liz Truss woof woof
Dick Scratcher: Liz Truss wants it this aft - on the desk
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Harman AGAIN Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs. Another dull one again today with the Labour second-in-command, Harman sparring with Dave. I say sparring, having been briefed by Ed Balls to use up all her questions on an attack over police cuts.
No Pantone reference today although Dick Scratcher, Tuscan Tony, John Ward and JULIAN BRAY ROYAL RANTZ noticed that Harman's Giraffe Skin Safari Suit is back.
Disco Biscuit and Guido spotted Gordon Henderson's bad choice of attire: a clashing yellow tie on a dark blue shirt while Urban Tory inquired whether Clegg's green tie was bought from the House of Commons shop?
Worst Pun of the Week award goes to John Ward with:
Here are the highlights:
Dick Scratcher: Is Red Ed a panda that CMD brought back from China?
Steve Miliband: You're so vain, you probably think this PMQ's is about you...
Beware of Geeks: Can I be the first to say: Kate Middleton, the first person to squeeze into Princess Diana's ring since Dodi Al Fayed.
Steve Miliband: Kate Middleclasston
Beware of Geeks: If I were Kate Middleton I'd take that bloody ring to Mount Doom.
Dick Scratcher: Alan Johnston doing Old Man Steptoe impression
Headsonpoles: Harperson starting to go up a few octaves - dolphins of the world beware
frig: "she sounds like a schoolmistress now" that makes me horny
Urban Tory: She is out of her depth, leave PMQs to the Men luv
Dick Scratcher: F*** off you frying pan faced hag
John Ward: Alan Johnson: from postman to Home Sec to Shadow Chancellor...
Tom FD: maybe there should be a Brillo-in-PMQs drinking game
torybear: Notice Dave has started taking notes to PMQs. Didn't used to
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes night sticks
the last quango in paris: a lot of grey hair on the labour front bench
Sarf of the River: is the beast of bolsover letting one out silently?
Having a Giraffe Harman: Put a load of IT Geeks in Riot Gear and give them Tazers. Brill !!
Mitch and Murray: I want YAB to commit adultery in front of an Iranian crowd
Llew: Wind your neck back in Harpie, just because you look like one....
Dick Scratcher: New police commisioners: "Squeal like a pig fat boy"
Rats arse: Look at the Labour front bench - faces like smacked arses
Secret Lemonade Drinker: Bercow, shut up, you jumped up little dwarf.
guidofawkes: Chamber just went "whoooooo" taking the mick out of Squeaker slapping down next questioner. Did Bercow get out of the bed on the wrong side?
Headsonpoles: Which dwarf is Bercow playing in pantomime this year?
Dick Scratcher: Short money = Bercow's salary
Disco Biscuit: Who is the little midget who keeps standing up and shouting at people?
Emily Maitlis: I'm now so old my pussy is haunted.
Tuscan Tony: Priti good.
John Ward: Is he offering a breath of fresh Ayr?
Sarf of the River: Coulson should tell Dave he needs some botox
Beware of Geeks: Apparently its not the weather thats caused the flooding in Cornwall. Big Kat Slater's waters have broken, thats all.
John Ward: I suspect Sally Bercow has been working on the Speaker this morning, or perhaps yesterday evening.
Dick the Prick: Stretchy midwives?
Dick Scratcher: That's not all thats stretched to breaking point...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s knob cheese has just died.
Dick Scratcher: Jordan = new silicon valley
the last quango in paris: bloody hell is there not a mobile hairdresser who can go around labour hq?
Dick Scratcher: Ken Clarke "Mmmm soldiers...with a bit of pepper"
Dick the Prick: Which bogs does Angela Eagle use?
Tuscan Tony: DtP: Angela uses a bush.
John Ward: Tony Lloyd's hair shows he's been playing with a Van der Graaf generator...
TheAngloSaxon: "CARRY ON BERCOW"
Tuscan Tony: Wasn't Tony Lloyd married to Chris Evert a while back?
John Ward: Prescott-land is Hull on earth!
No Pantone reference today although Dick Scratcher, Tuscan Tony, John Ward and JULIAN BRAY ROYAL RANTZ noticed that Harman's Giraffe Skin Safari Suit is back.
Disco Biscuit and Guido spotted Gordon Henderson's bad choice of attire: a clashing yellow tie on a dark blue shirt while Urban Tory inquired whether Clegg's green tie was bought from the House of Commons shop?
Worst Pun of the Week award goes to John Ward with:
Is he offering a breath of fresh Ayr?
Here are the highlights:
Dick Scratcher: Is Red Ed a panda that CMD brought back from China?
Steve Miliband: You're so vain, you probably think this PMQ's is about you...
Beware of Geeks: Can I be the first to say: Kate Middleton, the first person to squeeze into Princess Diana's ring since Dodi Al Fayed.
Steve Miliband: Kate Middleclasston
Beware of Geeks: If I were Kate Middleton I'd take that bloody ring to Mount Doom.
Dick Scratcher: Alan Johnston doing Old Man Steptoe impression
Headsonpoles: Harperson starting to go up a few octaves - dolphins of the world beware
frig: "she sounds like a schoolmistress now" that makes me horny
Urban Tory: She is out of her depth, leave PMQs to the Men luv
Dick Scratcher: F*** off you frying pan faced hag
John Ward: Alan Johnson: from postman to Home Sec to Shadow Chancellor...
Tom FD: maybe there should be a Brillo-in-PMQs drinking game
torybear: Notice Dave has started taking notes to PMQs. Didn't used to
Dick Scratcher: Mandy likes night sticks
the last quango in paris: a lot of grey hair on the labour front bench
Sarf of the River: is the beast of bolsover letting one out silently?
Having a Giraffe Harman: Put a load of IT Geeks in Riot Gear and give them Tazers. Brill !!
Mitch and Murray: I want YAB to commit adultery in front of an Iranian crowd
Llew: Wind your neck back in Harpie, just because you look like one....
Dick Scratcher: New police commisioners: "Squeal like a pig fat boy"
Rats arse: Look at the Labour front bench - faces like smacked arses
Secret Lemonade Drinker: Bercow, shut up, you jumped up little dwarf.
guidofawkes: Chamber just went "whoooooo" taking the mick out of Squeaker slapping down next questioner. Did Bercow get out of the bed on the wrong side?
Headsonpoles: Which dwarf is Bercow playing in pantomime this year?
Dick Scratcher: Short money = Bercow's salary
Disco Biscuit: Who is the little midget who keeps standing up and shouting at people?
Emily Maitlis: I'm now so old my pussy is haunted.
Tuscan Tony: Priti good.
John Ward: Is he offering a breath of fresh Ayr?
Sarf of the River: Coulson should tell Dave he needs some botox
Beware of Geeks: Apparently its not the weather thats caused the flooding in Cornwall. Big Kat Slater's waters have broken, thats all.
John Ward: I suspect Sally Bercow has been working on the Speaker this morning, or perhaps yesterday evening.
Dick the Prick: Stretchy midwives?
Dick Scratcher: That's not all thats stretched to breaking point...
Dick Scratcher: LATEST: Al Megrahi’s knob cheese has just died.
Dick Scratcher: Jordan = new silicon valley
the last quango in paris: bloody hell is there not a mobile hairdresser who can go around labour hq?
Dick Scratcher: Ken Clarke "Mmmm soldiers...with a bit of pepper"
Dick the Prick: Which bogs does Angela Eagle use?
Tuscan Tony: DtP: Angela uses a bush.
John Ward: Tony Lloyd's hair shows he's been playing with a Van der Graaf generator...
TheAngloSaxon: "CARRY ON BERCOW"
Tuscan Tony: Wasn't Tony Lloyd married to Chris Evert a while back?
John Ward: Prescott-land is Hull on earth!
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Harman Again Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs. Another dull one again today with the second-in-commands, Harman getting the advantage with the reneging on the tutition deal by the LibDems but Cleggy found his voice and fought back towards the end. A total of 12 questions were directed by Labour MPs to Clegg about the tuition fees - initially an effective attack but by the end it was as stale as one of MacMental's deliveries.
No Pantone reference today although Dorian Smith and who you gonna call? PORKB both noticed that Bercow's tie was "a disgrace" and "a tie from hell". ChristianJMay maintained the tie theme and rebuked the antagonistic Bercow by saying "I'll tell you what the public disapprove of, Bercow, THAT tie".
Best Line of the Week goes to newcomer ChristianJMay with a comment on the unusual "danglers" (as John Ward said) surrounding Harman's neck:
An additional mention and a proposed new category: Worst Pun of the Week goes to John Ward for:
Here are the highlights:
Guido Fawkes: Morning Windowlickers
Hugh Jardon: I prefer tuppence licking..
Spank Sinatra: Tongues out & bottoms up etc
Beware of Geeks: Lick lick lick lick lick lick lick.... mmmmm this Windows 7 is tasty
Spank Sinatra: Morning Geeky - you've found my hard disk?
Beware of Geeks: I've just formatted it with my tongue - should be better now
Dick Scratcher: Harman in Wonderbra again
John Ward: I still miss the giraffe outfit...
Spank Sinatra: Not more anal beads ffs!
Billy Blofeld: Will Dromey be waving his order papers at her every utterance?
Beware of Geeks: Lot's of clicking on the iPlayer - anyone else getting that, or is it simply Harman's lizard tail striking the benches?
ChristianJMay: What's that thing round Harman's neck? Looks like she fell into a box of Xmas decorations
Dick Scratcher: Shut up you moon faced cow - just cos you dropped your knickers for Dromey
C4politics: Harman joke - we all know that in Freshers Week you meet a dodgy bloke and you do things you regret - comparing the coalition
Dick Scratcher: Ken Clarke has eaten Eric Pickles
William Hague: I'm wearing the yellow silk tie that Chris gave me
Sres: Don't make Clegg angry, you won't like him when he's angry
Beware of Geeks: I'd like to see Harman in a bikini to be honest - does that make me a possible recipient for medical care in the community?
Dick the Prick: @BoG - yes, ofcourse
John Ward: I am still trying to work out what those danglers are around Harman's neck. Even in close-up I can't see what they are, except weird!
John Ward: Perhaps next time, perhaps in early December, Harman's Xmas decorations necklace with include flashing mutli-coloured lights...
Dick Scratcher: Jack Dromey likes a sausage sandwich...don't blame him really looking at those
Dick Scratcher: Mmmm...dumping on students...mmmmm.
Dick Scratcher: Hammond doing his Rolf Harris sketch
Gordon Brown: Buy my book Beyond the Crash at all good book stores for Xmas. Read it and weep. It's the right thing to do.
Yardarm: Hague not in China because Cameron worried about sharing a hotel room with him.
Hugh Jardon: um bongo anyone?
Dick the Prick: @HJ - hee hee
Dick Scratcher: G Young has just finished painting the Cistine Chapel
Beware of Geeks: What is it with the mention of Sheffield Forgemasters all the time?
jack: "What is it with the mention of Sheffield Forgemasters all the time? " She loves a good hammering.
Spank Sinatra: Oooh - a mullet
Beware of Geeks: I won't take advice from a mullet
Billy Blofeld: Ha! Ha! @Beware of Geeks
Dick Scratcher: Shat it you slag! Is your dog as fit as a Butcher's Dog?
John Ward: Gavin isn't one of the "movers and Shukers", clearly!
Urban Tory: John, i would say you're better than that but i think i know better
John Ward: Ollie Ensure?
Dazza: Ollie Unsure?
Spank Sinatra: She practiced that with her knees behind her ears last night
Gordon Brown: Buy my book Beyond the Crash at all good bookstores.
Dick Scratcher: Farron's suit too big - mummy bought one he can grow in to
Dick Scratcher: Ephalump AGAIN
Spank Sinatra: She needs a barn
Hugh Jardon: it's a big 'un
John Ward: Has my TV switched aspect ratio?
Dick the Prick: Could camp out in her beef handbags
Billy Bowden: How many obese MPS are there ?????
John Ward: "Blenkinsop"? Good name for a Geordie - not!
Spank Sinatra: Nasty piece of work
genghiz the kahn: Prime minister's question time was brought to you by NUS monkeys.
Sres: That's one flat face
John Ward: Reminds me of the CGI Incredible Hulk's head, apart from not being green-coloured!
No Pantone reference today although Dorian Smith and who you gonna call? PORKB both noticed that Bercow's tie was "a disgrace" and "a tie from hell". ChristianJMay maintained the tie theme and rebuked the antagonistic Bercow by saying "I'll tell you what the public disapprove of, Bercow, THAT tie".
Best Line of the Week goes to newcomer ChristianJMay with a comment on the unusual "danglers" (as John Ward said) surrounding Harman's neck:
What's that thing round Harman's neck? Looks like she fell into a box of Xmas decorations
An additional mention and a proposed new category: Worst Pun of the Week goes to John Ward for:
John Ward: Gavin isn't one of the "movers and Shukers", clearly!
Here are the highlights:
Guido Fawkes: Morning Windowlickers
Hugh Jardon: I prefer tuppence licking..
Spank Sinatra: Tongues out & bottoms up etc
Beware of Geeks: Lick lick lick lick lick lick lick.... mmmmm this Windows 7 is tasty
Spank Sinatra: Morning Geeky - you've found my hard disk?
Beware of Geeks: I've just formatted it with my tongue - should be better now
Dick Scratcher: Harman in Wonderbra again
John Ward: I still miss the giraffe outfit...
Spank Sinatra: Not more anal beads ffs!
Billy Blofeld: Will Dromey be waving his order papers at her every utterance?
Beware of Geeks: Lot's of clicking on the iPlayer - anyone else getting that, or is it simply Harman's lizard tail striking the benches?
ChristianJMay: What's that thing round Harman's neck? Looks like she fell into a box of Xmas decorations
Dick Scratcher: Shut up you moon faced cow - just cos you dropped your knickers for Dromey
C4politics: Harman joke - we all know that in Freshers Week you meet a dodgy bloke and you do things you regret - comparing the coalition
Dick Scratcher: Ken Clarke has eaten Eric Pickles
William Hague: I'm wearing the yellow silk tie that Chris gave me
Sres: Don't make Clegg angry, you won't like him when he's angry
Beware of Geeks: I'd like to see Harman in a bikini to be honest - does that make me a possible recipient for medical care in the community?
Dick the Prick: @BoG - yes, ofcourse
John Ward: I am still trying to work out what those danglers are around Harman's neck. Even in close-up I can't see what they are, except weird!
John Ward: Perhaps next time, perhaps in early December, Harman's Xmas decorations necklace with include flashing mutli-coloured lights...
Dick Scratcher: Jack Dromey likes a sausage sandwich...don't blame him really looking at those
Dick Scratcher: Mmmm...dumping on students...mmmmm.
Dick Scratcher: Hammond doing his Rolf Harris sketch
Gordon Brown: Buy my book Beyond the Crash at all good book stores for Xmas. Read it and weep. It's the right thing to do.
Yardarm: Hague not in China because Cameron worried about sharing a hotel room with him.
Hugh Jardon: um bongo anyone?
Dick the Prick: @HJ - hee hee
Dick Scratcher: G Young has just finished painting the Cistine Chapel
Beware of Geeks: What is it with the mention of Sheffield Forgemasters all the time?
jack: "What is it with the mention of Sheffield Forgemasters all the time? " She loves a good hammering.
Spank Sinatra: Oooh - a mullet
Beware of Geeks: I won't take advice from a mullet
Billy Blofeld: Ha! Ha! @Beware of Geeks
Dick Scratcher: Shat it you slag! Is your dog as fit as a Butcher's Dog?
John Ward: Gavin isn't one of the "movers and Shukers", clearly!
Urban Tory: John, i would say you're better than that but i think i know better
John Ward: Ollie Ensure?
Dazza: Ollie Unsure?
Spank Sinatra: She practiced that with her knees behind her ears last night
Gordon Brown: Buy my book Beyond the Crash at all good bookstores.
Dick Scratcher: Farron's suit too big - mummy bought one he can grow in to
Dick Scratcher: Ephalump AGAIN
Spank Sinatra: She needs a barn
Hugh Jardon: it's a big 'un
John Ward: Has my TV switched aspect ratio?
Dick the Prick: Could camp out in her beef handbags
Billy Bowden: How many obese MPS are there ?????
John Ward: "Blenkinsop"? Good name for a Geordie - not!
Spank Sinatra: Nasty piece of work
genghiz the kahn: Prime minister's question time was brought to you by NUS monkeys.
Sres: That's one flat face
John Ward: Reminds me of the CGI Incredible Hulk's head, apart from not being green-coloured!
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Entente Cordiale Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs. Another dull one today with Dave getting a bit of a kicking from Red Ed with his private photographer gaff, which as Guido correctly tweeted, should have come out of CCHQ's budget.
Still, Red Ed was adenoidally challenged again, hee-hawing like a mule and Dave fought back a bit.
No Labour Parody Of The Week, Dick Scratcher gave Hain Pantone Reference of 817C (Syphiloid Bronze), Tiewatcher showed Peter Aldous leading on the ties so far but not much competition and Harmann was sporting a Ribena look today.
Bride of Chucky Doll Of The Week was the disgraced houseflipper Hazel Blears and according to Ollie Cromwell "Harriet's Ginger Rodent jibe at Danny Alexander must have hit Hazel hard" because she seemed to have adopted that dark crimson, tight curled Labour feminist look again.
The Best Line Of The Week goes to JULIAN BRAY GERCHA! with a topical:
Guido signed off with a rather cryptic "In case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight". Let's hope it's another Wednesday drinkathon and not a Dr Kelly moment.
Here are the highlights - enjoy:
Daisy May: Is Harriet's Poppy big enough?
Dick Scratcher: Who's Nailin Pailin?
Alex in SW6: one lump or two out of Obama?
Billy Blofeld: Hain's orangeness makes his poppy look pale
John Ward: Updated name for Yemen: "Yo Man!"
Dick the Prick: Kids should just claim bankruptcy after college
gengiz the kahn: westoring twust in hith government.
gengiz the kahn: theffield, eathleigh
Dorian Smith: Does Ed have a cupboard full of purple ties, other colours are available you know
Secret Lemonade Drinker: What's Dave using, these days, to slicken his coiffure?
Beware of Geeks: Miliband-wagon - hehe
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: Why is Mr orange wearing a poppy? wasn't he one of the boars?
John Ward: Wee Dougie doesn't look very happy...
Dick the Prick: @JW - he's seen his sister
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: oooooh hand millibags....
gengiz the kahn: wealease wouldoff the wed nosed weigndeer.
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: cheese eating surrender monkey special
Rog: Dougie looks like a big pixie stole his fishing rod.
torybear: And a classic back from DC "spending less on replacing mobile phones at No10" Great cracks today from both sides
Old Holborn: If any more Bengali students feel the need to "get stabby" may I recommend Hazel Blears first?
Ghost of Greg Stone: Thought he preferred a wriggling boys club
Jolly Roger: Bring back Gordon. PMQs is no longer fun. Just plain boring.
gengiz the kahn: ginger rodent - salford sub species
Beware of Geeks: Christ on a ginger bike! Why has she reverted to early 90's ginger hairstyle!?!?!?!?!?
Old Holborn: she borrowed Charlie Chaplins hair
Ollie Cromwell: Harriets Ginger Rodent jibe at Danny Alexander must have hit Hazel hard
Old Holborn: Ikea want those curtains back
concrete pump: Blears is worried her hair doesn't match her minge anymore...
Secret Lemonade Drinker: Excellent. An immigration question.
Albania: **** off, we are here now
no longer anonymous: albania - can you wash my car for me?
Precious Umbongo: I am staying bwana
Bengali Student: I KIIIILLLLLL YOU!!!
Beware of Geeks: My ex has let herself go
Dick the Prick: @BoG - beggars can't be choosers
elsie tanner: In a prism, you can see all the colours of the rectum.
Dick Scratcher: Is it because I is back (bencher)
Dick Scratcher: He needs a good meal - battered Mars bar anyone?
Tom FD: deficit deniers, responsibility deniers
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: went to bbc studio to talk on security - driver was from Kashmir...
gengiz the kahn: red emma mP for bejing central.
Spank Sinatra: God - it's milly molly mandy again
Billy Blofeld: Andy Pandy with a minge more like..........
Dick Scratcher: Is Bagpuss dead?
no longer anonymous: bagpuss will never die
13eastie: CHippy geordie. Kev Maguire's dad?
torybear: Finally someone raises the disgusting rights to votes for prisoners. DC: "it makes me physically ill"
John Ward: I also agree! We need to stand up to the EU, and if necessary withdraw altogether.
Billy Blofeld: Buggering Schools For the Future.. it sounded like he said that anyway...
Beware of Geeks: Bercow: "I have a short statement to make" - I should say so
Jolly Roger: this mess left by Labour, is this why Sam cam had to makeover number 10 before she would move in?
Still, Red Ed was adenoidally challenged again, hee-hawing like a mule and Dave fought back a bit.
No Labour Parody Of The Week, Dick Scratcher gave Hain Pantone Reference of 817C (Syphiloid Bronze), Tiewatcher showed Peter Aldous leading on the ties so far but not much competition and Harmann was sporting a Ribena look today.
Bride of Chucky Doll Of The Week was the disgraced houseflipper Hazel Blears and according to Ollie Cromwell "Harriet's Ginger Rodent jibe at Danny Alexander must have hit Hazel hard" because she seemed to have adopted that dark crimson, tight curled Labour feminist look again.
The Best Line Of The Week goes to JULIAN BRAY GERCHA! with a topical:
Why is Mr Orange wearing a poppy? Wasn't he one of the Boers?
Guido signed off with a rather cryptic "In case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight". Let's hope it's another Wednesday drinkathon and not a Dr Kelly moment.
Here are the highlights - enjoy:
Daisy May: Is Harriet's Poppy big enough?
Dick Scratcher: Who's Nailin Pailin?
Alex in SW6: one lump or two out of Obama?
Billy Blofeld: Hain's orangeness makes his poppy look pale
John Ward: Updated name for Yemen: "Yo Man!"
Dick the Prick: Kids should just claim bankruptcy after college
gengiz the kahn: westoring twust in hith government.
gengiz the kahn: theffield, eathleigh
Dorian Smith: Does Ed have a cupboard full of purple ties, other colours are available you know
Secret Lemonade Drinker: What's Dave using, these days, to slicken his coiffure?
Beware of Geeks: Miliband-wagon - hehe
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: Why is Mr orange wearing a poppy? wasn't he one of the boars?
John Ward: Wee Dougie doesn't look very happy...
Dick the Prick: @JW - he's seen his sister
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: oooooh hand millibags....
gengiz the kahn: wealease wouldoff the wed nosed weigndeer.
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: cheese eating surrender monkey special
Rog: Dougie looks like a big pixie stole his fishing rod.
torybear: And a classic back from DC "spending less on replacing mobile phones at No10" Great cracks today from both sides
Old Holborn: If any more Bengali students feel the need to "get stabby" may I recommend Hazel Blears first?
Ghost of Greg Stone: Thought he preferred a wriggling boys club
Jolly Roger: Bring back Gordon. PMQs is no longer fun. Just plain boring.
gengiz the kahn: ginger rodent - salford sub species
Beware of Geeks: Christ on a ginger bike! Why has she reverted to early 90's ginger hairstyle!?!?!?!?!?
Old Holborn: she borrowed Charlie Chaplins hair
Ollie Cromwell: Harriets Ginger Rodent jibe at Danny Alexander must have hit Hazel hard
Old Holborn: Ikea want those curtains back
concrete pump: Blears is worried her hair doesn't match her minge anymore...
Secret Lemonade Drinker: Excellent. An immigration question.
Albania: **** off, we are here now
no longer anonymous: albania - can you wash my car for me?
Precious Umbongo: I am staying bwana
Bengali Student: I KIIIILLLLLL YOU!!!
Beware of Geeks: My ex has let herself go
Dick the Prick: @BoG - beggars can't be choosers
elsie tanner: In a prism, you can see all the colours of the rectum.
Dick Scratcher: Is it because I is back (bencher)
Dick Scratcher: He needs a good meal - battered Mars bar anyone?
Tom FD: deficit deniers, responsibility deniers
JULIAN BRAY GERCHA!: went to bbc studio to talk on security - driver was from Kashmir...
gengiz the kahn: red emma mP for bejing central.
Spank Sinatra: God - it's milly molly mandy again
Billy Blofeld: Andy Pandy with a minge more like..........
Dick Scratcher: Is Bagpuss dead?
no longer anonymous: bagpuss will never die
13eastie: CHippy geordie. Kev Maguire's dad?
torybear: Finally someone raises the disgusting rights to votes for prisoners. DC: "it makes me physically ill"
John Ward: I also agree! We need to stand up to the EU, and if necessary withdraw altogether.
Billy Blofeld: Buggering Schools For the Future.. it sounded like he said that anyway...
Beware of Geeks: Bercow: "I have a short statement to make" - I should say so
Jolly Roger: this mess left by Labour, is this why Sam cam had to makeover number 10 before she would move in?
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Growth Week Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs. Bit of a dull one today with a few of the familiar plants coming from the Conservatives in much the same way as they did with Labour.
A brief Labour Parody of the Week from MARTIN DAY with: "SOMEONE PUT DAVID CAMERON OUT OF MISERY" which was a grammatically challenged putdown, as to be expected with Labour "prizes and consequently ignorance for all" education over the last 13 years or so.
The best line of the week returns to John Ward with a topical mention of an observation of the delectable Ms Berger:
Here are the highlights:-
Beware of Geeks: Morning Guido, morning fellow window lickers! Another PMQs, another set of Labour denials
Beware of Geeks: I can say with some sense of certainty that drinking homemade cherry brandy until 02:00am gives you a cracking hangover that only a midday vodka and tonic can cure!
Guido Fawkes: as does going out for lunch yesterday drinking through till four am
Labour bankrupted the UK: My tax bill is experiencing growth thanks to Labour.
Hugh Jardon: mr speaker..can I start by blowing my bloody nose. FFS!!
Beware of Geeks: Set nostrils to bunged Mr Sulu
Unemployed Tory: Ed Miliband needs Just For Men, it looks like he has a bird shit in his head
Dorian Smith: This week's Labour Trolls sponsored by RMT
Tuscan Tony: IS Ed wearing Sir Les Patterson'as teeth?
Dick the Prick: Get a f**king job?
Billy Bowden: Get a f**king job !!!!!!!
Billy Bowden: Snap Dick lol
Dick the Prick: Great minds Billy
Billy Bowden: Wouldnt go that far Dick lol
Urban Tory: Ed is poo
Tuscan Tony: Urban, is he a friend of Mark Oaten's?
Praguetory: Clegg's a 30 woman man.
ali: being questioned by Ed must be like being savaged by a sheep: unexpected and ultimately hilarious
John Ward: Munt is four-fifths of a Mount...
Tuscan Tony: Tessa and the Munters.
Spank Sinatra: Pickles set to explode
Beware of Geeks: Has Pickles got his own gravity field?
Tuscan Tony: Kate looks increasingly like Kevin Keegan
John Ward: Typical SNP SNIPing...
Dazza: I'm in Wales this week... should I worry?
Dr Bombastic: i'm in hospital this week - should I worry?????
Beware of Geeks: I'd like to see Luciana's burger
Tuscan Tony: Cheese or bacon BoG?
Dick the Prick: @BoG - Nicely roasted
Beware of Geeks: How can someone that beautiful (after a large vodka) be a Labour bod? Nature has some explaining
John Ward: Lucy Arner is obvious the exception that proves the rule about Labour females being ugly.
Praguetory: Luciana will have to provide relief for geeks herself
Nick2: Modest Nestegg? Liver damage on their 18th birthday, more like.
Tuscan Tony: What's she smuggling in that skirt?
John Ward: None eaten? I've eaten, just before PMQs!
Urban Tory: not everyone is as well preped as you John
Dick the Prick: @JW - yellow card
Spank Sinatra: She's just been shagged in the toilets [Emma Reynolds]
Brown got us Here!: Flelloatio!!
Tuscan Tony: Is Flellow his real name?
BillyBob.: she has eaten all the pies in Gateshead !!
John Ward: That jacket reminds me of some front garden paths...
Praguetory: What's she wearing - a harpoon
Dick the Prick: Whoa - step away from the pie
BillyBob.: she is using her full meal allowance methinks
Beware of Geeks: @BillyBob, and probably some of Prescott's emergency funds
Beware of Geeks: Bercow: "I have a short statement to make: my wife's a goer
Tuscan Tony: Hardly news Bog.
A brief Labour Parody of the Week from MARTIN DAY with: "SOMEONE PUT DAVID CAMERON OUT OF MISERY" which was a grammatically challenged putdown, as to be expected with Labour "prizes and consequently ignorance for all" education over the last 13 years or so.
The best line of the week returns to John Ward with a topical mention of an observation of the delectable Ms Berger:
"Lucy Arner is obvious the exception that proves the rule about Labour females being ugly."
Here are the highlights:-
Beware of Geeks: Morning Guido, morning fellow window lickers! Another PMQs, another set of Labour denials
Beware of Geeks: I can say with some sense of certainty that drinking homemade cherry brandy until 02:00am gives you a cracking hangover that only a midday vodka and tonic can cure!
Guido Fawkes: as does going out for lunch yesterday drinking through till four am
Labour bankrupted the UK: My tax bill is experiencing growth thanks to Labour.
Hugh Jardon: mr speaker..can I start by blowing my bloody nose. FFS!!
Beware of Geeks: Set nostrils to bunged Mr Sulu
Unemployed Tory: Ed Miliband needs Just For Men, it looks like he has a bird shit in his head
Dorian Smith: This week's Labour Trolls sponsored by RMT
Tuscan Tony: IS Ed wearing Sir Les Patterson'as teeth?
Dick the Prick: Get a f**king job?
Billy Bowden: Get a f**king job !!!!!!!
Billy Bowden: Snap Dick lol
Dick the Prick: Great minds Billy
Billy Bowden: Wouldnt go that far Dick lol
Urban Tory: Ed is poo
Tuscan Tony: Urban, is he a friend of Mark Oaten's?
Praguetory: Clegg's a 30 woman man.
ali: being questioned by Ed must be like being savaged by a sheep: unexpected and ultimately hilarious
John Ward: Munt is four-fifths of a Mount...
Tuscan Tony: Tessa and the Munters.
Spank Sinatra: Pickles set to explode
Beware of Geeks: Has Pickles got his own gravity field?
Tuscan Tony: Kate looks increasingly like Kevin Keegan
John Ward: Typical SNP SNIPing...
Dazza: I'm in Wales this week... should I worry?
Dr Bombastic: i'm in hospital this week - should I worry?????
Beware of Geeks: I'd like to see Luciana's burger
Tuscan Tony: Cheese or bacon BoG?
Dick the Prick: @BoG - Nicely roasted
Beware of Geeks: How can someone that beautiful (after a large vodka) be a Labour bod? Nature has some explaining
John Ward: Lucy Arner is obvious the exception that proves the rule about Labour females being ugly.
Praguetory: Luciana will have to provide relief for geeks herself
Nick2: Modest Nestegg? Liver damage on their 18th birthday, more like.
Tuscan Tony: What's she smuggling in that skirt?
John Ward: None eaten? I've eaten, just before PMQs!
Urban Tory: not everyone is as well preped as you John
Dick the Prick: @JW - yellow card
Spank Sinatra: She's just been shagged in the toilets [Emma Reynolds]
Brown got us Here!: Flelloatio!!
Tuscan Tony: Is Flellow his real name?
BillyBob.: she has eaten all the pies in Gateshead !!
John Ward: That jacket reminds me of some front garden paths...
Praguetory: What's she wearing - a harpoon
Dick the Prick: Whoa - step away from the pie
BillyBob.: she is using her full meal allowance methinks
Beware of Geeks: @BillyBob, and probably some of Prescott's emergency funds
Beware of Geeks: Bercow: "I have a short statement to make: my wife's a goer
Tuscan Tony: Hardly news Bog.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Axe Wednesday Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs. Red Ed starts to fluster in a remarkably similar way to MacMental: lots of "m-m-m-m-m-mr speaker" stuff and that dreadful nasal whining is starting to grate. Dave was on good form, better than the other week but still lacks the "car crash PMQs" we've missed with the stammering, brooding MacMental.
Carlos is still MIA, Harman wasn't wearing her Giraffe Suit again and Dick Scratcher gave the very important Hain Pantone Reference: 819E (Tango Ember).
Looks like Red Ed was the winner in the Dodgy Tie of the Week. Billy Blofeld said: "Tie error by Miliband. Gone for violet rather than regal purple".
Our Labour Parody of the Week was newbie Jimmy Jobby who said: "THE PUBLIC SECTOR IS THE ENGINE OF THE RECOVERY, OSBORNE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THIS". Well Jimmy, us business owners can assure you with that attitude the UK economy and any potential employees are completely safe as you have absolutely no idea how wealth creation works and would be incapable of running a business.
Best Line of the Week goes to Sarf of the River with a topical comment on an MP who looked remarkably like Mama Cass:
Here's the rest of the highlights- enjoy!
Mitch: Looking forward to advice on tightening our belts from the millionaire chancellor
Trinny: BBC has a helicopter up to cover cuts. No concept of the word irony
Sarf of the River: I'm wetting my underwear here. I can't contain my excitement for much longer.
Dick Scratcher: I’d like to fill Laura K’s chamber.
John Ward: BBC camera direction "cut to the Bone!"
Billy Blofeld: Mithter, mithter speaker.....
Dick Scratcher: Birds**t Milliband Sponsored by Vicks Sinex Nasal Spray.
Roger Thornhill: "The Miliband Streak"
ChristianJMay: Oh dear, Ed Miliband is really struggling here. Plus he has Tip-Ex in his hair...
guidofawkes: Did Cast Iron Dave just say he'd freeze payments to the EU for 7 years?
Sarf of the River: The case about EU funding doesn't have to be made across Europe, it can be made in 5 minutes from Westminster. WTF are you on Dave?
Beware of Geeks: Red Ed does need to get that beak sorted
Billy Blofeld: Hush Puppy - crap joke. Miliband is losing it.....
torybear: Is he.. is he.. is he saying.. is he.. is he.. is he..
John Ward: Izzy? Izzy?
Steve Miliband: Bird s**ts on Shadow PM's hairs shock
joncraig: Great gag from Ed Miliband on Clarke part of "squeezed middle". Good gag from Cameron too about Ken having "bottom". Lively start!
Dick Scratcher: Pickles eating cow pie again.
Dorian Smith: Ed Milliband the master of student politics
Dick Scratcher: Ozzy learning his lines - all white & powdery
Roger Thornhill: Reminds me of Pit the Younger from Bladder II - Dish and Dishonesty
Urban Tory: Is it wrong that I am enjoying watching Ed die live on TV?
Dick Scratcher: Alan Johnson - fried egg eyes
Labour bankrupted the UK: Has Ed been taking lessons from Gordon for PMQs?
Dorian Smith: Today's Labour trolls are sponsored by Unite and The Union Modernisation Fund
John Ward: Yes, Dorian: the pink dinosaurs in the Unions :-)
politicshomeuk: Cameron: "I know it is a novel concept... but in this government the prime minister and the chancellor speak to each other"
Sofamonkey: Ed's ineptitude is difficult to watch, proper car crash TV
JULIAN BRAY sale edition: Can't wait Harrier Pilots being signed up by Ryanair... last question ...wasted so far
Unemployed Tory: PMQ's is sponsored by Top Gun today
Dick the Prick: UT - Iceman!
Unemployed Tory: I weeeeent tooooooo the Daaaaanger Zone
Public School Whipping: Enjoy the 15 years of opposition guys. You picked a real winner. For the Tories!!
Down with Brown!: Milliband couldn't have been much worse if he set himself on fire.
iaindale: So go on, my lefty friends, tell me now that Ed Miliband came out on top this week. Don't make me laugh
Dick Scratcher: FYI Rosie Winterton will be shagging Two Jags this aft in car park.
Dick Scratcher: Niallpaterson reminds me of that Gestapo officer in Where Eagles Dare.
Rats arse: Why are all Labour women so ugly?
Down with Brown!: Ed Milliband = Ed Moribund.
Sarf of the River: She could do with a massive cut to her diet
Beware of Geeks: I see the Mamas and Papas are still going
JULIAN BRAY sale edition: chilean mine shaft opening under ed miliband after todays performance....
Beware of Geeks: Tom Watson - who gorged all the pies?
Urban Tory: its two seats watson
Praguetory: Should Tom Watson employ his family?
Beware of Geeks: Should Tom Watson's family be protected from being gorged by the pie monster himself?
Roger Thornhill: Render TomW to lard and power a small town in Lincolnshire
John Ward: Tom Watson second only to Pickles in the girth measurement dept.
Billy Blofeld: Unemployment of Diversity Officers is a price worth paying
Beware of Geeks: You cannot attack a plan if you don't have a plan - quite right - liebour are an irrelevence
Dick Scratcher: Twigg seems like a nice boy
Praguetory: Twigg looks a bit like our generous host.
Urban Tory: I've never seen Guido and Twigg in the same room, hmmm
Brown got us Here!: Twigg lives at Albert Cock
JULIAN BRAY sale edition: Send in the Hoons.......
Dick the Prick: Faabricant looking bouffant
Hugh Jazz: the bbc have the knives out today- its like they're watching a different pmqs!
Beware of Geeks: I'm jealous of Selous's good looks
Billy Blofeld: Paul Whicker the Tall Vicar - an old Viz character - seems to be an MP now
Dick Scratcher: Glenoglaza = Italian window shine
Carlos is still MIA, Harman wasn't wearing her Giraffe Suit again and Dick Scratcher gave the very important Hain Pantone Reference: 819E (Tango Ember).
Looks like Red Ed was the winner in the Dodgy Tie of the Week. Billy Blofeld said: "Tie error by Miliband. Gone for violet rather than regal purple".
Our Labour Parody of the Week was newbie Jimmy Jobby who said: "THE PUBLIC SECTOR IS THE ENGINE OF THE RECOVERY, OSBORNE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THIS". Well Jimmy, us business owners can assure you with that attitude the UK economy and any potential employees are completely safe as you have absolutely no idea how wealth creation works and would be incapable of running a business.
Best Line of the Week goes to Sarf of the River with a topical comment on an MP who looked remarkably like Mama Cass:
She could do with a massive cut to her diet
Here's the rest of the highlights- enjoy!
Mitch: Looking forward to advice on tightening our belts from the millionaire chancellor
Trinny: BBC has a helicopter up to cover cuts. No concept of the word irony
Sarf of the River: I'm wetting my underwear here. I can't contain my excitement for much longer.
Dick Scratcher: I’d like to fill Laura K’s chamber.
John Ward: BBC camera direction "cut to the Bone!"
Billy Blofeld: Mithter, mithter speaker.....
Dick Scratcher: Birds**t Milliband Sponsored by Vicks Sinex Nasal Spray.
Roger Thornhill: "The Miliband Streak"
ChristianJMay: Oh dear, Ed Miliband is really struggling here. Plus he has Tip-Ex in his hair...
guidofawkes: Did Cast Iron Dave just say he'd freeze payments to the EU for 7 years?
Sarf of the River: The case about EU funding doesn't have to be made across Europe, it can be made in 5 minutes from Westminster. WTF are you on Dave?
Beware of Geeks: Red Ed does need to get that beak sorted
Billy Blofeld: Hush Puppy - crap joke. Miliband is losing it.....
torybear: Is he.. is he.. is he saying.. is he.. is he.. is he..
John Ward: Izzy? Izzy?
Steve Miliband: Bird s**ts on Shadow PM's hairs shock
joncraig: Great gag from Ed Miliband on Clarke part of "squeezed middle". Good gag from Cameron too about Ken having "bottom". Lively start!
Dick Scratcher: Pickles eating cow pie again.
Dorian Smith: Ed Milliband the master of student politics
Dick Scratcher: Ozzy learning his lines - all white & powdery
Roger Thornhill: Reminds me of Pit the Younger from Bladder II - Dish and Dishonesty
Urban Tory: Is it wrong that I am enjoying watching Ed die live on TV?
Dick Scratcher: Alan Johnson - fried egg eyes
Labour bankrupted the UK: Has Ed been taking lessons from Gordon for PMQs?
Dorian Smith: Today's Labour trolls are sponsored by Unite and The Union Modernisation Fund
John Ward: Yes, Dorian: the pink dinosaurs in the Unions :-)
politicshomeuk: Cameron: "I know it is a novel concept... but in this government the prime minister and the chancellor speak to each other"
Sofamonkey: Ed's ineptitude is difficult to watch, proper car crash TV
JULIAN BRAY sale edition: Can't wait Harrier Pilots being signed up by Ryanair... last question ...wasted so far
Unemployed Tory: PMQ's is sponsored by Top Gun today
Dick the Prick: UT - Iceman!
Unemployed Tory: I weeeeent tooooooo the Daaaaanger Zone
Public School Whipping: Enjoy the 15 years of opposition guys. You picked a real winner. For the Tories!!
Down with Brown!: Milliband couldn't have been much worse if he set himself on fire.
iaindale: So go on, my lefty friends, tell me now that Ed Miliband came out on top this week. Don't make me laugh
Dick Scratcher: FYI Rosie Winterton will be shagging Two Jags this aft in car park.
Dick Scratcher: Niallpaterson reminds me of that Gestapo officer in Where Eagles Dare.
Rats arse: Why are all Labour women so ugly?
Down with Brown!: Ed Milliband = Ed Moribund.
Sarf of the River: She could do with a massive cut to her diet
Beware of Geeks: I see the Mamas and Papas are still going
JULIAN BRAY sale edition: chilean mine shaft opening under ed miliband after todays performance....
Beware of Geeks: Tom Watson - who gorged all the pies?
Urban Tory: its two seats watson
Praguetory: Should Tom Watson employ his family?
Beware of Geeks: Should Tom Watson's family be protected from being gorged by the pie monster himself?
Roger Thornhill: Render TomW to lard and power a small town in Lincolnshire
John Ward: Tom Watson second only to Pickles in the girth measurement dept.
Billy Blofeld: Unemployment of Diversity Officers is a price worth paying
Beware of Geeks: You cannot attack a plan if you don't have a plan - quite right - liebour are an irrelevence
Dick Scratcher: Twigg seems like a nice boy
Praguetory: Twigg looks a bit like our generous host.
Urban Tory: I've never seen Guido and Twigg in the same room, hmmm
Brown got us Here!: Twigg lives at Albert Cock
JULIAN BRAY sale edition: Send in the Hoons.......
Dick the Prick: Faabricant looking bouffant
Hugh Jazz: the bbc have the knives out today- its like they're watching a different pmqs!
Beware of Geeks: I'm jealous of Selous's good looks
Billy Blofeld: Paul Whicker the Tall Vicar - an old Viz character - seems to be an MP now
Dick Scratcher: Glenoglaza = Italian window shine
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
Guido's PMQs Highlights
Bah, I'm away tomorrow seeing some friends so I won't be doing Guido's PMQs Highlights. It's a shame as I think tomorrow's session is going to be a rather lively one with Cameron vs Red Ed.
Wednesday, 15 September 2010
Guido's PMQs LiveChat: Millionaire Union Bosses Edition
Thanks to Guido for hosting today's LiveChat where the window lickers gather for Wednesday's PMQs. The general consensus was that it was a little boring this week and obviously misses characters such as the brooding, stammering pension wrecker as Cameron's foil. Cameron was on top form today despite the personal grief he must have endured by the loss of his father. A good banter between Harman and himself and incidentally, this was Harman's last appearance so no more Ms WhineyVoice.
Carlos is still MIA, Harman wasn't wearing her Giraffe Suite but as Billy Blofeld said: "Harman didn't go for the Meat Dress then....." unlike Lady GaGa. Dick Scratcher gave the very important Hain Pantone Reference: 816F (Comanche Vanity) but Guido suggested that this might equally apply to the very orange Rosie Winterton.
Obviously "staycations" don't apply to our political elite.
Dorian Smith likened Bercow's tie to the Czech TV test card while Tiewatcher loathes David Blunkett but thinks his tie is actually rather good.
The LiveChat was bereft of Labour "Haw Haws" spinning the propaganda although Kevin Maguire tweeted his best suggesting that Mervyn King told the TUC in 2008 that there wouldn't be a recession. Come on Toilets, you can do better than that.
The rumours of the brooding McRuin making an appearance did not bear fruit sadly but Old Holborn was suggesting that he might release a tiger into the House which would have been entertaining, as well as his statement that "I have a sponsor who will pay £10 to everyone who turns up at the Popes gigs in a full gimp costume ".
So the best line of the week? A close run thing with John Ward's great effort of ""I'm so Priti, oh so Priti..." on the first appearance of Tory MP Priti Patel, Chunk's "that woman has like two Nick Soames strapped to her mid-section" in reference to the rotund Rosie Cooper and Tuscan Tony's "Lloyd looks like he hit a wall naked at 40mph" when MP Stephen Lloyd stood up.
The winner goes to Sue Perrin-Junsham with this line after Guido's poll of Labour leaders:
Here's the rest of the highlights- enjoy!
Dick Scratcher: Let's see if Laura K's over her PMT
Old Holborn: I love the way Abbott is calling for white men to be sacked from the civil service. She's be lucky to find one
Dorian Smith: Did Gordon get a note from his mum to take even more time off to teach at Harvard?
Should Be Working: Ah, Harriet - tea two sugars please luv!
Billy Blofeld: Peter Hain is wearing a dress again this week.
John Ward: Anne Beggs has just motored into the Chamber...
Dorian Smith: HH necklace from Swindon's Sue Ryder shop
Tuscan Tony: At least it isn't a pearl one Dorian.
Hugh Jend: my mate (hugh jardon) MAY have given Katy D a pearl necklace..anyone want to here more about it??
John Ward: Yes, the beads are probably more worried than Hattie...
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: George Michael says hi from Pentonville....
Another Engineer: Harman most popular! Is Gordon in the house?
Roger Thornhill: Going nowhere and Harman? You surprise me.
Dick Scratcher: Border Police in blue leather, accessorized with black nightsticks
Dick Scratcher: Harperson wants a good grilling. Gas mark 4.
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: brazier more like damp firelighter
the last quango in paris: 7 votes for those muppets
Tuscan Tony: CHief cause of poverty is watching Jeremy Kyle.
Old Holborn: Abbott to win would be fantastic. Mugabes widow herself
Dick the Prick: Mugabe's got better standards
Tuscan Tony: The dream team for Labour leadership would be Abbott and Prescott.
Old Holborn: I have a sponsor who will pay £10 to everyone who turns up at the Popes gigs in a full gimp costume
Carol Vorderman: I love Balls!
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: liverpool all the wheeliebins are on bricks
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: pope on a rope ..... doofa on a loofah
Hugh Jend: will the pope treat us to a rendition of "two little boys"?
Tuscan Tony: The 3 munters.
Old Holborn: She knitted that herself
Unsworth: OH - not knitted, nailed together
John Ward: "I'm so Priti, oh so Priti..."
John Ward: Another Vaz!
Billy Blofeld: She isn't oily enough to be a real Vaz
Ghost of Greg Stone: Put the Vaz's next to each other with artificial colouring= Vaz e line
Old Holborn: Release a live tiger into the House
Secret Lemondade Drinker: Look at those highlights. Bloody hell. Labour are falling apart.
Guido Fawkes: I m m m mmiss m m m m m mr rrr Speaker from Jonah
Dorian Smith: Luckily we have widescreen tv for Rosie
Unsworth: Christ! A blue Marquee
Tuscan Tony: Taxibus for Rosie!
Beware of Geeks: "That's no moon, it's a space station"
Chunk: That woman has like two Nick Soames strapped to her mid-section
Tuscan Tony: Vernon Coaker = Dusty Bin
Dick Scratcher: Ainsworth doing his pools coupon
Dorian Smith: Balls auditions for CHurchill nodding dog campaign
Chunk: Lloyd looks like a Jim Henson creation.
Billy Blofeld: Someone needs to buy him a jaw
Tuscan Tony: Lloyd looks like he hit a wall naked at 40mph
Beware of Geeks: Now I know what happened to Kermit
Sue Perrin-Junsham: I'm voting for Steve Miliband - Abracadabra
Secret Lemondade Drinker: Andrew Mitchell is now chatting up Caroline Spelman. Dirrrrty.
John Ward: Harlow and goodbye!
Tuscan Tony: Prescott is working the tables in 1st Class, Ghost.
Old Holborn: what a heap of otter w**k
Carlos is still MIA, Harman wasn't wearing her Giraffe Suite but as Billy Blofeld said: "Harman didn't go for the Meat Dress then....." unlike Lady GaGa. Dick Scratcher gave the very important Hain Pantone Reference: 816F (Comanche Vanity) but Guido suggested that this might equally apply to the very orange Rosie Winterton.
Obviously "staycations" don't apply to our political elite.
Dorian Smith likened Bercow's tie to the Czech TV test card while Tiewatcher loathes David Blunkett but thinks his tie is actually rather good.
The LiveChat was bereft of Labour "Haw Haws" spinning the propaganda although Kevin Maguire tweeted his best suggesting that Mervyn King told the TUC in 2008 that there wouldn't be a recession. Come on Toilets, you can do better than that.
The rumours of the brooding McRuin making an appearance did not bear fruit sadly but Old Holborn was suggesting that he might release a tiger into the House which would have been entertaining, as well as his statement that "I have a sponsor who will pay £10 to everyone who turns up at the Popes gigs in a full gimp costume ".
So the best line of the week? A close run thing with John Ward's great effort of ""I'm so Priti, oh so Priti..." on the first appearance of Tory MP Priti Patel, Chunk's "that woman has like two Nick Soames strapped to her mid-section" in reference to the rotund Rosie Cooper and Tuscan Tony's "Lloyd looks like he hit a wall naked at 40mph" when MP Stephen Lloyd stood up.
The winner goes to Sue Perrin-Junsham with this line after Guido's poll of Labour leaders:
"I'm voting for Steve Miliband - Abracadabra"
Here's the rest of the highlights- enjoy!
Dick Scratcher: Let's see if Laura K's over her PMT
Old Holborn: I love the way Abbott is calling for white men to be sacked from the civil service. She's be lucky to find one
Dorian Smith: Did Gordon get a note from his mum to take even more time off to teach at Harvard?
Should Be Working: Ah, Harriet - tea two sugars please luv!
Billy Blofeld: Peter Hain is wearing a dress again this week.
John Ward: Anne Beggs has just motored into the Chamber...
Dorian Smith: HH necklace from Swindon's Sue Ryder shop
Tuscan Tony: At least it isn't a pearl one Dorian.
Hugh Jend: my mate (hugh jardon) MAY have given Katy D a pearl necklace..anyone want to here more about it??
John Ward: Yes, the beads are probably more worried than Hattie...
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: George Michael says hi from Pentonville....
Another Engineer: Harman most popular! Is Gordon in the house?
Roger Thornhill: Going nowhere and Harman? You surprise me.
Dick Scratcher: Border Police in blue leather, accessorized with black nightsticks
Dick Scratcher: Harperson wants a good grilling. Gas mark 4.
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: brazier more like damp firelighter
the last quango in paris: 7 votes for those muppets
Tuscan Tony: CHief cause of poverty is watching Jeremy Kyle.
Old Holborn: Abbott to win would be fantastic. Mugabes widow herself
Dick the Prick: Mugabe's got better standards
Tuscan Tony: The dream team for Labour leadership would be Abbott and Prescott.
Old Holborn: I have a sponsor who will pay £10 to everyone who turns up at the Popes gigs in a full gimp costume
Carol Vorderman: I love Balls!
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: liverpool all the wheeliebins are on bricks
JULIAN BRAY DUCKHOUSE: pope on a rope ..... doofa on a loofah
Hugh Jend: will the pope treat us to a rendition of "two little boys"?
Tuscan Tony: The 3 munters.
Old Holborn: She knitted that herself
Unsworth: OH - not knitted, nailed together
John Ward: "I'm so Priti, oh so Priti..."
John Ward: Another Vaz!
Billy Blofeld: She isn't oily enough to be a real Vaz
Ghost of Greg Stone: Put the Vaz's next to each other with artificial colouring= Vaz e line
Old Holborn: Release a live tiger into the House
Secret Lemondade Drinker: Look at those highlights. Bloody hell. Labour are falling apart.
Guido Fawkes: I m m m mmiss m m m m m mr rrr Speaker from Jonah
Dorian Smith: Luckily we have widescreen tv for Rosie
Unsworth: Christ! A blue Marquee
Tuscan Tony: Taxibus for Rosie!
Beware of Geeks: "That's no moon, it's a space station"
Chunk: That woman has like two Nick Soames strapped to her mid-section
Tuscan Tony: Vernon Coaker = Dusty Bin
Dick Scratcher: Ainsworth doing his pools coupon
Dorian Smith: Balls auditions for CHurchill nodding dog campaign
Chunk: Lloyd looks like a Jim Henson creation.
Billy Blofeld: Someone needs to buy him a jaw
Tuscan Tony: Lloyd looks like he hit a wall naked at 40mph
Beware of Geeks: Now I know what happened to Kermit
Sue Perrin-Junsham: I'm voting for Steve Miliband - Abracadabra
Secret Lemondade Drinker: Andrew Mitchell is now chatting up Caroline Spelman. Dirrrrty.
John Ward: Harlow and goodbye!
Tuscan Tony: Prescott is working the tables in 1st Class, Ghost.
Old Holborn: what a heap of otter w**k
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